#the most i can manage is a brief oneshot i suppose but it was nice writing this :)

[emmet-appreciation]

Elesa meets the Submas

That headcanon post got me wondering about how Elesa would’ve met the submas bros, so I took the liberty of writing a quick fanfic about it (it was not quick, this took me almost an hour ahhhhh-)

Note: My writing is not the best, and this was minimally proof-read. lmk if you see any typos or uh, you have any criticism haha :V

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How long has it been, she mused, since she had first met the two? It had been long before she had risen to the title of “Gym Leader,” and even before she had become a model. Elesa wracked her brain further- time seemed to zip by so fast, faster than her beloved Emolga could dish out a speedy volt switch. Years of photoshoots, TV gigs, and training flew through her mind, making her head spin, spin, and spin, until suddenly: she caught the memory. 

She was just a child. Elesa was just as confident as she was today, but being lost in the bustling atmosphere of the subway had her holding onto her then Blitzle for dear life. She had just missed the train that would take her home, and with it, her parents as well. Where would she go now? Who could she talk to? Holding back tears, she slowly trudged through the crowd with Blitzle in tow, not really knowing where she was going. 

Suddenly, she felt a wall. No, not a wall- it was a person- a boy who couldn’t have been older than her. He had a stern expression on his face, with a downturned frown that could almost be a grimace. He wore a black peaked cap, which gleamed in the fluorescent light. To the left of him, a boy with about the same face stood, though his mouth was turned up in an almost eerie smile. He, too, wore an identical peaked cap, though its pure white colour contrasted with the black of its counterpart. 

She felt her stomach turn cold. In her panic, she had accidentally bumped into two strangers, and they didn’t look too happy about it. Before she could start apologizing, however, the boy in the black cap spoke. 

“Hello there, miss! You look rather disoriented- have you been uncoupled from your train?” She winced when he heard his voice. It was loud enough to cut through the crowd of people flowing through Gear Station, prompting her Blitzle to sputter a few sparks. Upon seeing this reaction, he cleared his throat and spoke again, this time at a more reasonable volume. “Ahem. My apologies, I am told the sound of my engine can be rather loud, if left unchecked.” The boy was met with the blank stares of Elesa and her Blitzle, who were both too stunned to respond. 

He was certainly an odd child. The way he spoke was much, much different than the way other children around their age spoke. And what was it about an engine? Elesa’s head spun. 

Oblivious to their disbelief, he continued. “I am Ingo, and this here is my brother, Emmet. We are currently en route to our next station: home, in Anville Town!” He paused, pointing to the platform that would presumably take them to the Anville Town station. As if on cue, the other boy- Emmet was it?- did the same. This display baffled Elesa, who could only stand and watch dumbly as they switched tracks and excitedly talked among themselves about their ‘cool pose.’ Internally, she counted exactly 5 seconds before Ingo suddenly snapped his hands back into place and turned to Elesa. 

“If you do indeed have a destination you must return to, perhaps my brother and I can be of assistance! Otherwise, I will leave the two of you to aimlessly wander the tracks in peace.” Snapped out of her confusion, Elesa finally took the opportunity to respond to the strange duo. 

“I-I’m lost! I missed the train going home and I don’t know where to go now!” Blitzle softly brayed in agreement, nuzzling her hand comfortingly. “I see… The Subway System can be quite disorienting for those who are unaccustomed to it. Emmet, what do you say we take a quick detour and see her off to her next destination?” He turns to Emmet, who gives them both a quick nod. 

“Bravo, then! Do not worry, miss. Our two-car train will lead you to your station safe and sound! Now, where are you headed off to?”

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

Nev, Max, Help!-Nate Jacobs Oneshot

Requested: Yes

Warnings: aggressiveness and rudeness from Nate and a brief panic attack scene

A/N: The reader is gender neutral since the requester did not specify what they wanted and I did not want to disrespect the storyline from the show. Also, it’s a long one. 

  For once, Amy Winehouse’s low, melancholy voice did nothing to soothe my nerves as I typed what I was looking for in the designated box. “Love is a Losing Game” was definitely not the best song for the mood but I loved her voice so much; it was like a really messed up security blanket for me. My thumbs shook as I kept typing and quickly deleting my words. 

  Someone to have fun with.

  No, that’ll bring every single creep to my profile.

  Someone to watch Netflix with.

  Ew, no, they won’t want to go anywhere or do anything. 

  Someone to discuss Maya Angelou with...

  This could go one of two ways: attract a sensitive, nice person or the ultimate softboi who was really just an f-boy in a sensible cardigan.

    Okay, Y/N, just add to it.

   ...and have adventures, great conversations, and watch the best movies.

   That seemed broad enough and, potentially, weeded out all the weirdos. Patti Stanger would approve of this. I took such a deep breath that I could feel the oxygen in my feet as I pressed the green check mark. An adorable buffering sign appeared before being quickly replaced by a CONGRATULATIONS, Y/N/N, ON COMPLETING YOUR PROFILE. 

   The air came out of me slowly, like a balloon, and I tried to make myself relax as I swiped through different matches. One person was too short, the other too tall, another had way too many pictures with reptiles in his profile, and one’s bio simply read: DM and you’ll find out. 

  Serial killer much?

  “That’s part of your problem, Y/N,” Jules had chastised me a few day prior.

 “What do you mean by ‘part’?” I’d replied.

 “Well, for one, you barely leave the house anymore unless I drag you out,” Jules argued.

  “I’m busy,” I’d defended. 

  “Rewatching Breaking Bad for the eighth time does not count as being busy. Plus, you’re so picky.”

  “Am not!” 

  “You said you’d only do DiCaprio in his Great Gatsby days,” Rue had added.

  “Did you see him in that suit?” 

  Jules then shrugged. “All I’m saying is if you aren’t careful, you will end up all alone.”

  “That’s not true, Y/N might get cats.” 

  That conversation had haunted me since and had driven me to making a dating profile after the required Saturday night family dinner. While my parents and brother were downstairs watching a movie, I was holed up in my room, cringing and regretting accepting any chat requests. 

   Half an hour on the app caused the images of various male genitalia to be burned into my mind. I would need my brain soaked in holy water for it to be erased. I huffed and kept scrolling, vainly hoping and wishing for a decent guy to pop up on my radar.

  Maybe Jules and Rue were wrong. Maybe I had all the right in the world to be picky, I thought harshly to myself. 

  I dropped my phone on my nightstand and flopped against my pillows as Me and Mr. Jones began playing. I sighed and felt myself being lulled into the comforting abyss Amy created. 

   Ding!

   I jumped out and glared at the source of the noise. Another chat request, another picture to ruin my young brain? 

  “Be positive, Y/N, this might be good,” I stated as I grabbed the phone. 

  Tyler wants to chat!

   I frowned and opened up the app, only to be met with the most sculpted six-pack I had ever seen. My heart began banging against my chest and my thumbs fumbled for a moment to answer the chat request. 

  Whoosh. 

  My stomach dropped as I stared at my first chat to Tyler: Shg.ismtle

  I’m. Going. To. Die. Alone.

  I quickly typed: Please ignore that, I’m so sorry!

  Seconds later, my phone dinged.

  Tyler: Really? I thought you were trying to send me a secret code and I liked that we were that cool already.

  This was not real, this could not be happening. Tyler had to be a bot, that was why he didn’t show his face in his profile. Bots were supposed to have a hard time recognizing and creating faces, right? 

   But, on the off chance Tyler was real, it would have been rude to leave the conversation so abruptly? 

   Y/N: Who knows? Maybe it was a secret code and I’m just testing you.

   Tyler: Ok, let me guess what it means.

   Tyler: Hi? 

   Y/N: Haha, you really thought I’d use such a simple code as a first message?

   Tyler: It’s my bad for underestimating u. I should have known u were smarter since you read Maya Angelou.

  Y/N: U a fan? 

  Tyler: “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” 

  He knows Angelou? He could have Googled a quote though. Still, it’s a good quote to use if he had Googled it.

   Y/N: Nice, but, doesn’t get u out of the guessing game.

   As Tyler helplessly guessed wrong for several minutes, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I used to think online dating was a last resort or a breeding ground for predators. But, maybe there were decent people looking for something (or someone) meaningful after all. 

  Tyler: I give up, you’re really good. 

  Y/N: Thx. But, I can tell you what I meant to say. 

  Tyler: The suspense is srsly kiilling me. 

  Y/N: I meant 2 say hey.

  Tyler: I guessed that!

   Y/N: No, u guessed ‘hi’, there’s a difference.

  Tyler: C’mon, barely.

   For the rest of the night, Tyler and I chatted. He told me that he plays baseball at a school across town and he doesn’t like anyone around there. He liked John Mulaney stand-up, lemon bars, going to the gym, hanging out with his friends, and reading good books. He was an only child and his parents tended to spoil him. I told him about my friends and how I liked being on the swim team at my school as well as the different YouTubers and books I enjoyed. When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of talking to him. 

   On Monday, Jules and Rue were hanging out outside the school as other people either headed to class or relaxed on the lawn. I could not stop my feet from bouncing as I walked up to them.

   “...and that is why Sailor Mercury is the most underrated character of the whole show,” Jules affrimed. 

   Rue seemed halfway interested as her head nodded slowly underneath the hood of her burgundy hoodie. “Cool, all I asked was who’s your favorite but, cool.” 

   Jules rolled her eyes playfully and straightened up when she saw me. “Hey, Y/N, nice shirt.” 

  “Thanks.” I wore a sky blue tie dye shirt with ripped jeans and white Converse.

  Rue leaned forward and squinted at me. “You’re not wearing black, something’s wrong.” 

  “Nothing’s wrong, she’s obviously been influenced by me!” Jules teased as she wrapped a slim arm around my shoulders.

  “Yeah, you can only hang out with this literal rainbow human so long before she starts influencing your outfit choices.”

  We started heading inside, which was really just Jules and me dragging Rue into the building.

   “But I don’t wanna be here. It’s so stupid that I have to wait six more months before I can legally decide where I spend my time,” Rue muttered.

  “It’s fine, you have us!” Jules insisted.

   “Yup!” I agreed.

  “Hey, Y/N, Rue, Jules!” Cassie greeted as she sidled up next to me. 

  We all greeted her.

  “Have a good weekend?” Rue asked. 

  “Yeah, there was this great party that Nick Davis threw. I swear, everyone there was on acid.” Cassie stopped herself and bit her bottom lip. “Sorry---” 

   Rue shook her head. “It’s fine.”

  “How were yours?” Cassie asked as we continued to our lockers. 

  “Fine,” Jules said.

  Rue shrugged in response.

  I opened my mouth to reply when my phone beeped and I wrestled it out of my pocket. 

  Tyler: Is it 2 late 4 a good morning text? 

  I smiled. 

  “You’re so cheesy,” I muttered under my breath. 

  “Who’s that?” Cassie asked, peeking over my shoulder.

   I jumped and cradled my phone to my chest like it was my child. “No one.” 

   Jules pulled open her locker and cocked a bleached eyebrow. “‘No one’ does not cause huge smiles like that!” She jabbed a sparkly-manicured finger at me. 

  “Yeah, show us,” Rue said. “We are your friends.” 

  “It’s nothing,” I insisted as I weaved around them. 

  I pushed myself against my locker and managed to open it with my free hand. Rue was on one side of me and Cassie was on the other. 

  “Is it a boy?” Cassie sang.

  “Or a girl?” Rue questioned.

  “It’s none of your business,” I gritted out as I grabbed my necessary books. 

  As I shuffled the books in my arms, Jules came from behind and slipped my phone away from me. I gasped, whirled around, and watched as Rue tried to look at the phone while Cassie playfully blocked me.

  “Guys, this is not cool! This is such a serious invasion of privacy,” I argued as I tried to move around Cassie.

  “We’re besties, there’s no such thing as privacy!” Jules retorted. 

  “Wow, Y/N, these are so----” Jules cut Rue off.

  “Adorable!” Jules squealed and turned to face me.

  Cassie took the opportunity to glance at my phone and she smiled. “Aw, this Tyler guy sounds so sweet.” 

  I snatched my phone from Jules. “Well, now you know. Can we please go to class now?” 

  As the other girls grabbed their things from their lockers, I got out my phone to reply to Tyler.

  Y/N: It’s never too late...until noon technically.

   Somehow, I started wandering away from the girls until I ran into someone. I tried to jump away, but they grabbed me by the forearms.

  “I am so sorry, I should have looked where I was going---” I stopped speaking when I recognized Nate’s direct gaze on me. I was pretty tall but I always felt like he could throw me into the lockers if he wanted to.

  “Watch it, Y/N,” he muttered. 

  “Nate, let go of them,” Maddy chided, her hand resting against one of his arms. 

  She seemed to have the magic touch because he relaxed and I joined my friends. As the couple continued down the hallway, I couldn’t help but admire them. In a very messed up way, they worked. Kat had told me only a little about what Nate would do whenever Maddy upset him and I felt so bad for her, angry at him, and then conflicted. Nate just had to have that stereotypical amazing all-American look.

  “You okay, Y/N?” Cassie asked.

  “Yeah, is it weird that I can still feel his eyes on me even when he’s not looking?” I asked. 

  “No, his need for dominance permeates everyone’s sense of autonomy,” Rue assured.

  “Nice,” Jules said. 

  “And scary accurate,” Cassie added. 

  Jule looped her arm with mine and steered us in the direction of our first classes. “Anyway, if he tries anything, I’m sure Tyler would gladly kick his butt for you.” 

   Throughout the day, Tyler and I chatted and I even had to get creative with responding. In English, I kept my head down during quiet reading time and made sure my phone was positioned just right in my lap. During geometry, I told Mrs. Packer that I was having some digestive issues and spent most of the class outside the bathroom, texting Tyler. At lunch, I could barely focus on my friends’ conversation.

   “Hello, Earth to Y/N?” Lexi waved her hand in front of my face and I blinked.

   “Sorry, I was----”

   “Texting her boooyfriiiend,” Jules sang.

   “He’s not my boyfriend, we’re just talking.” I started poking at my sandwich. “What did I miss?” 

  “Oh, nothing, just the fact that I nearly blew up the school during chem,” Cassie said. 

  “Magnesium chloride isn’t an explosive,” Lexi argued. 

  “Well, the tube overflowed and everyone was freaking out,” Cassie argued.

  “Yeah, because magnesium chloride can have bad side effects,” Lexi continued.

   “I wonder what would happen if the school exploded and we weren’t all here? Would they have to give us our diplomas?” I thought outloud.

  “Ooh, and I could go to fashion school early!” Jules cheered. 

  “I’d be happy not coming here anymore,” Rue admitted. 

  It was quiet for a moment as we all ate but that quiet was broken when Maddy yelled.

  “WHO ARE YOU TEXTING?”

  I couldn’t help myself but look. Maddy was standing behind Nate, who was sitting with his teammates at the center table. Bebe and Kat flanked Maddy a little behind. Everyone stared at them. Nate’s jaw tightened. 

  “Maddy, calm down,” his relaxed, controlled voice nearly echoed in the silent cafeteria. 

  “DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! YOU’VE BEEN ON YOUR PHONE ALL DAY!” she snapped. 

  “Maddy---” 

  “ARE YOU TEXTING OTHER GIRLS?” Maddy shouted.

  “Can we talk about this somewhere else?” Nate asked. 

  Maddy sighed. “Are you gonna let me see your phone?”

  “Maddy, we need to talk.” 

  “Don’t talk to me again.” 

  Before Nate could respond, Maddy dumped the contents of her lunch tray over his head and threw the tray aside. Kat and Bebe followed her as she strutted out of the cafeteria amid the shocked gasps. 

   “I’m gonna go check on her,” Cassie whispered.

  We all nodded and she quietly exited the room. As I stared at Nate, the supposed king of the school, drenched in soggy salad and fat-free milk, I wondered why he could never stay broken up with Maddy. Their relationship was not just toxic, it was volatile. Their breakups were always public and outrageous, but they always ended up back together. No one questioned it either. I never understood why people could continue to choose relationship they knew was bad over pursuing something new. I told Tyler as much that night. 

   Y/N: It’s like those dogs that get killed by electric fences because they keep walking into them.

  Tyler: U have a good point, but, that couple’s relationship is more complicated than u think. 

  Y/N: Probably, but, it doesn’t look that way. They hurt each other a lot.

  Tyler: How do u know? 

   Y/N: Bc I’ve seen it. I don’t mean 2 b judgy, but, I could never be in a relationship like that. 

  Tyler: Well, I don’t think anyone would b if they knew it would b bad. 

  Y/N: Good point. But, why would they get back together so much? 

  Tyler: Idk them, but, it could b bc it’s familiar and it’s what they know.

  Y/N: Still, it’s messed up.

 Tyler: Yeah, but I don’t wanna talk abt them anymore.

 Y/N: K, what do u wanna talk abt? 

  A few seconds later, Tyler sent me a picture so graphically beautiful that I was convinced I passed out.

 The next day, I showed Rue and Jules the picture during break time.

 “Holy crap!” Jules took my phone and leaned into it for closer inspection. 

 “Tyler is packing,” Rue agreed. 

  Jules slid my phone back to me. “You haven’t replied to him?”    “No, and he hasn’t talked to me at all today.”

  “He’s probably expecting a reply that’s similar to what he sent,” Rue said.

  My face warmed up. “I can’t send him nudes,” I hissed.

  “Why not? It’s like the greeting cards of our generation,” Jules stated.

  “Really? You’d send your grandparents a greeting card of your naked body?” I replied sarcastically.

  “Relax, if you’re uncomfortable, we can help you,” Jules assured.

  “We can?” Rue asked.

  “We can.” Jules gave her a look and Rue relaxed. 

  “It’s still weird, but, I guess you guys can come over after school.”

  “Sweet! Your mom still bakes cookies for you after school, right?” Jules asked.

  I nodded.

  “She might stop once she learns her darling favorite older child is sending nudes,” Rue snorted as she spoke.

  I recoiled in my seat, taking a second to bask in the sun’s warmth. “Don’t remind me.” 

  After swim practice, once my teammates left the locker room, I eyed my naked form in the mirror. I had nothing to be ashamed of, really, thanks to all the swimming, but, I just felt weird being naked in front of people. There was something so vulnerable about it, like, being on display in a museum or lying on a cold surgery table. But, online dating was supposed to get me out of my comfort zone and I’d found someone who’d made me feel comfortable enough to do it. With this resolve, I changed into a hoodie and some sweatpants and left the school. It was dusk and I typically walked home after practice since it wasn’t far. Plus, I’d told Jules and Rue to just go to my house after school. 

  The late breeze rippled past me and I dug my hands into my pants’ pockets as I started walking towards the parking lot. There was barely anyone around, except stoners hotboxing their cars, some couples making out, and dance team members and football players getting out of practice.

  I kept my head down as I maneuvered around the few cars and people around. It felt like someone could spot what I was about to do once I got home and it was nervewracking. All I had to do was get home, let Jules make me look even better, take these pictures, and never thinking of it again.

   “Something on your mind, Y/N?” Nate called.

   I froze and snapped my head up to look at him. He was leaning against his truck, looking like a model for Ford in only a tshirt and jeans. Ford should hire him. 

   “No, not really,” I said. 

   I started to side step the truck, eyeing the sidewalk that was only a few yards away as though it was a lifeline. 

  “Get in,” Nate ordered.

  I paused and looked at him. “Excuse me?” 

  “I see you walking home all the time, let me do you a favor, one athlete to another.” Nate was about halfway in the driver’s seat of the car and all I could do was stare.

  “We’ve...never really talked before,” I stated. 

  “We can talk during the drive.” 

   I stepped back and my eyes flittered around, like the best decision would hit me in the face. Then, I saw Maddy across the lot. She was standing with a couple of dance team girls, including Cassie. She stared me down as though daring me to do it. I glanced from her to Nate, who started the engine loudly. 

   I quickly climbed into the passenger’s seat and stared into Maddy’s reflection in the rearview mirror as he pulled out of the parking lot. 

  “How do you know where I live?” I asked.

  “You forgot that I gave you a ride before?” Nate asked.

  “When?” 

  “After Cassie’s sweet sixteen. You blacked out, your friends were panicking, and I offered to take you home. For some reason, you remembered your address,” Nate recalled.

  “Oh, thanks?” 

  “Sure.” 

  We pulled up to my house a few minutes later, Lil Wayne bragging about his conquests filling the quiet. I hopped out of the truck and grabbed my bag. 

  “Thanks for the ride, this one, I mean, I owe you,” I said.

  “Yeah, see you around, Y/N.” 

  I closed the door and headed inside.

  “I’m home!” I called.

  My mom poked her head out from the kitchen. “Y/N, how was school and practice?” 

  “Fine.” 

  “Was that Nate Jacobs outside?” 

  I hesitated. 

  How did she know what Nate’s truck looked like?  “Yeah, he gave me a ride today.” 

  “Aw, isn’t that sweet? Rue and Jules are waiting for you in your room. They took the cookies with them.”  

  I nodded and went to my room. As soon as I walked in, they bombarded me with questions.

  “Why did Nate give you a ride?” Rue asked.

  “What did you guys talk about?” Jules inquired. 

  “Don’t you hate him?” 

  “He’s kind of a dick, but, unfortunately, super good looking.”

  “Did Maddy see?” 

  “Do you think she’s gonna kill you?” 

  “Guys, I don’t know but I do know that if you do not take amazing pictures of me with no clothes on soon, I will delete my entire profile,” I interrupted. 

  They both nodded. 

  “But, we will ask for details later,” Jules insisted.

  “Okay, but, please give me a cookie, I’ll need it to get through this.” 

  Rue extended the plate towards me and I bit into the melty goodness as Jules began doing my makeup. It was simple, only bringing out my best features. I made them both turn around as I undressed. Once I had, Jules encouraged me.

  “You look amazing, I would be shocked if he didn’t jizz in his pants,” Jules said.

  “Lower your voice, Y/B/N can only play Five Nights at Freddy’s so loud,” I hissed.

  Jules held her hands up and Rue direct me to lay on the bed, my phone held up in front of her.

  “Okay, look sexy,” Rue said.

  I tried to smolder, but, by their expressions, I did not achieve it.

  “No, like, pout your lips, like, you just heard that TheOdd1sOut is not uploading for a month,” Jules directed.

  “And give the camera bedroom eyes, you know, as though it’s Tyler.”

  “Okay.”    After a few pictures, I slowly got the hang of it and even started posing a little naturally.

  “Oh my gosh, Tyra is shook!” Jules cheered. 

 “Yeah, these are pretty good if I do say so myself.” Rue handed me my phone and I flipped through the pictures. 

  She was a talented photogrpaher and I joked that maybe she should go professional.

  “Yeah, I’m sure I’d have a nice clientele.” 

  I laughed as I changed back into my hoodie and sweatpants. “Okay, help me pick one to send.” 

  Jules took my phone and she and Rue began scrolling.

  “No, the lighting’s off in this one,” Jules muttered.

  “No, it’s never off in any of these,” Rue argued. 

  “I’m not shading your talent, I’m just trying to find the best thing for Y/N to send Tyler.” 

  After a little more bickering, we all agreed on the picture and I sent it to Tyler.

  “Should I follow it up with something?” I asked.

  “Maybe say ‘Wrong person’? Guys want what other guys want,” Jules suggested.

  “Or say ‘Sorry for the late reply’,” Rue added.

  “I’ll go with Rue’s, sorry, Jules.” 

  Jules shrugged. 

  I sent everything off and my friends and I watched as Tyler typed a response.

  Tyler: It was worth the wait ;).

  We squealed so loud that my mom yelled for us to keep it down. We apologized as we descended into a fit of giggles. Through it all, I could not help but feel so bouncy and light all over. Was I...falling for this total stranger? 

  “What do you think he looks like?” Jules asked during lunch later that week.

  I shrugged. “It’s different every day, if that makes sense.” 

  “I guess that’s the nice thing about interacting with someone who doesn’t show their face,” Jules thought outloud. 

  “How do you see him now?” Lexi asked. 

  I sighed. “Right now, I think he’s tall, six feet at least. He’s got a mix of blonde and brown hair like a surfer because it’s lightened from all the time he’s spent in the sun. He has green eyes, freckles, and he dresses well.” 

  “Sounds amazing,” Jules said as she rest her chin in her hand. 

  Rue nodded slowly. “You’re not nervous or anything?” 

  “No, this is so cheesy, but, I feel like I know him, you know? He’s so easy to talk to and has so much to say.”

  “Y/N’s blushing,” Jules teased. “Do you love him?” 

  “I really, really, really, like him.” 

  “Do you think you’ll meet soon?” Lexi asked.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know, neither of us has brought it up.”

  “Well, it just matters that you’re comfortable, okay?” Rue said.

  “Okay.” 

  If I was honest, I did not know if I wanted to meet Tyler. I knew that I liked him more than I liked anyone before, but, there was something strange about breaking this wall the internet provided us. It was freer to talk on the internet than it was in person. What if I said something stupid in front of him? What if he thought that I looked different in person? What if he looked different in person? 

  I managed to keep these thoughts at bay for the rest of the day until I got home. Post-dinner had been officially declared Talk to Tyler Time. None of my family knew what I was doing besides blasting Amy Winehouse in my room for about an hour. My laugh nearly overpowered her high note in “Best Friends, Right?”. I had to blink away my happy tears as I replied to him. 

  Y/N: That did not happen!  Tyler: Yes it did! Do u want 2 c the scar????

 Y/N: No, I think I’m good.

 I wiped away my tears and settled under the covers. I wondered if his friends would agree that Tyler gets into some weird situations as well. Just as I started typing, Tyler beat me.

 Tyler: I want 2 meet u.

 The speed that I launched my phone away from me almost shocked me more than the text.

  Almost.

  My heartbeat thrummed in my ears. This was it, I knew I couldn’t avoid him much longer, but, I felt like I couldn’t move. All I could do was stare at my phone like it was the most offensive object in the world. Slowly, I regained mobility and grabbed my phone. I took a deep breath.

  “Take a chance, Y/L/N,” I whispered.

  Y/N: When and where?

    “You’re meeting him tonight?” Jules squealed the next day.

  I hushed her as people in the hallway paused to look at us. “Not so loud.”   “But this is so exciting. Please let me help you decide what to wear,” Jules pleaded with a pout. 

  “Sure,” I said. 

  Jules hugged me. “This is going to be so fun. I won’t go crazy with glitter since this is the first time you’re meeting this guy.” 

 “Thanks?” 

 “Do your parents know?” Rue asked.

 “No,” I replied as I slowly pulled away from Jules. “They’re coming Senior Night tonight, though. and I’m going to meet him at Mercy Park an hour before it ends.” 

 “Are you sure you even want to do this? I know that Jules and I tease you about your love life, but, this is risky,” Rue said. 

 “You weren’t saying that when you were helping me with those pictures the other day,” I shot back.

  “That was different. You’re...you’re actually meeting him now and he could be a psychopath or a sociopath or, just, a creepy old guy who likes to look at teenagers!” Rue insisted.

  “Rue, relax, everything’s going to be fine.”

  “You don’t know that!” She turned on her heel and hurried into the bathroom with Jules and I on her tail. 

  When we entered, Rue was leaning against the wall, panting and staring up at the ceiling. Jules and I approached her slowly as the girls who were in the bathroom quickly filed out. 

  “Rue, slow down your breathing,” I said slowly.

  “I...I can’t. You-you could get hurt or something and-and I would know about it an-and I-I couldn’t live with that!” Tears burst from her eyes as Rue began pacing and Jules and I were close but gave her room. 

  “Rue, Y/N is going to be okay, we both know what time she’ll be at the park. If anything happens, we’ll know the area she could be in,” Jules assured her.

  Rue shook her head and stopped in her tracks. Then, she looked between us helplessly before bowing her head and sobbing. Jules and I carefully hugged her and let her cry.

  “I’m sorry that I’m scared and I care about you and I don’t want you to get hurt,” Rue mumbled into my shirt.

  “It’s okay, I appreciate it. I really want to meet Tyler, though, and, I promise I will let you know if something happens, okay?” 

  Rue nodded and sniffled.

   It took Jules about an hour to make me look amazing. I had no idea my hair could be so fluffy and put together until she was done with it. She used eyeliner to make eyes look bigger and rounder and added sparkly lip gloss to make my lips look plumper. After she contoured and highlighted the best places she deemed that her work was done. My outfit, a fitted forest green long-sleeve shirt and fitted black pants with Jadons, was also approved by her.

  “Tell me everything later!” she insisted.

  Rue couldn’t join us since she had “prior commitments” but I texted her that I would let her know when I head to the park and when I leave. My nerves didn’t let me focus on the soccer game my parents insisted I joined them and my brother at. I couldn’t care less that the forward on one team got a yellow card or that the goalie on the other team made illegal blocks. I was practically buzzing with excitement and fear so much that I had to give my pretzel to Y/B/N. Finally, the third quarter arrived and I told my parents that I would meet them at home since I’d promised Lexi that I would help her with some homework. 

  Lexi wouldn’t mind being used for a lie this one time; it was an emergency.

  I tried to practice some calming deep breaths as I walked over to the park. The dark night sky provided a little bit of comfort to my walk. I wondered how different Tyler would look from the picture in my mind. I wondered if he thought I would look any different. Maybe (hopefully) it wouldn’t matter to either of us.

  Finally, I reached the park. It was empty, save for the oak trees scattered throughout the lush green scenery that seemed mysterious under the mooonlight. A few benches and wooden tables were around as well, but, Tyler and I had agreed to meet at the fountain which was further in the park. The breathing exercises had to have helped because I felt much more relaxed and I hoped that everything would go all right. 

   When I got to the fountain, there was a tall person facing it. All I could make out were dark clothes and broad shoulders. I took another deep breath and kept walking.

  “This is a nice spot, you have good taste,” I commented. 

  “I could say the same for you.” I stopped in my tracks as Nate slowly turned to face me. His face was unreadable but his eyes stayed on me. 

  “What? Wh-where’s Tyler?” I asked, my voice already hoarse. 

  Nate glanced down at his shoes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how else to talk to you.” 

  I shook my head. “No.” My vision got blurry but I could tell that Nate was looking up at me now. 

  “Just let me explain,” he requested softly. 

  He took a step towards me and I took two steps back .

 “I don’t wanna hear it. This....this is some sick joke to you or something?” 

 “No, never, Y/N, just listen to me.” 

 “I don’t want to!” The tears rolled down my cheeks and I swiped at them so hard that I thought I scratched myself. At least I could feel something because my heart felt numb. “You catfished me!” 

  “I just wanted to talk to you, I really do like you, Y/N. Tyler and I are the same, just different names,” Nate insisted, coming closer.

  For some reason, I didn’t move. I didn’t know if it was from emotional exhaustion or stress, but, I let him approach me. I kept shaking my head. 

  “No,” I hiccuped. 

  “I wanted to meet you tonight because I was tired of lying. I want to figure this, us, out,” Nate said.

  I sniffed. “Us?” 

  At that moment, I could actually see his face and Nate seemed so hopeful. There was a slight smile on his lips and his eyes seemed light for once. Maybe he wanted there to be an “us”. Maybe, despite all logic, he wanted to talk to me seriously and could not do it offline because of his reputation. Maybe, he was over the on-again-off-again situation with Maddy. Maybe, this was my chance, our chance.

  I wiped my face again, mentally cringing at how upset Jules would be for my ruining her masterpiece. 

  “Yeah, us.” Nate stepped closer to me, gently wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled me into his chest.

  Gradually, my muscles relaxed and I relished in the feeling of his strong upper body and his warmth. Then, I began to feel pressure on my waist and gasped as it intensified. 

  “Nate, you’re...squeezing...too hard,” I rasped out. 

  And he started laughing, no, cackling. As he laughed, his grip tightened and I continued gasping and clawing at everything I could. 

  “Nate...stop!” 

  But he kept laughing and squeezing. When he finally released me, I looked up and saw nothing behind his eyes. Everything in me told me to run, but, I knew he could have easily caught up to me.

  “I really thought you were smarter than that, Y/N. C’mon, you couldn’t honestly think that I would do all this to be with you,” he sneered.

  “So why do it then?” I asked, my voice so small that I could have kicked myself for it. 

  Nate sighed and folded his arms. “Because you made it so easy and, to ask for a favor.” 

  “What? That makes no sense,” I argued. “I told you I owed you one that day you gave me a ride!” 

  “Yeah, well, I needed to make sure that you were available when I needed you.” 

  “Whatever, screw you,” I hissed as I pivoted on my heel. 

  “Too late for you, you’re already screwed.” Nate pulled out a folder from inside his jacket pocket. “Remember those special pictures you sent to Tyler? Well, they count as distribution of child pornography, which has a hefty fine and sentence.” 

   My mouth opened and closed several times before I faced him and responded. “But...but you held them, doesn’t that count towards possession? And, you’re extorting me!” 

  Nate glowered at me and stormed over. “Heresay, no solid evidence for your case. Plus, I’m a Jacobs, so, who are you kidding?” 

   I felt so sick to my stomach that I could have thrown up, fainted, or cried at that moment. This was not real, this could not be real.

   “What do you want?” I asked.

   “Like I said, just be available when I need you.” 

  “Fine.” 

  “Sorry, what was that?” He gripped my chin his hand and forced me to look up at him.

  “Okay,” I said softly.

  “Hmm.” His eyes scanned my face before he released me. “And if I ever hear you judging my relationship with Maddy again, these pictures are going to be the least of your concern.” 

  I nodded weakly, regretting every single thing I ever told him. Nate Jacobs was truly the devil. He wandered off into the night like a centurion leaving a victorious battle. It seemed like he always won. 

  I managed not to start crying until I was on the empty sidewalk. No, I sobbed so bad that my throat went dry. 

  How could I have been so stupid? I should have known it was him that day Maddy yelled at him for texting all day. 

  Stupid, stupid, stupid!

  My sobs continued as I grabbed my phone and texted Rue. 

  Y/N: U were right. 

[middleofnowhere92]

Sokkla for my ATLA Valentine’s day oneshots  @disgruntled-welshgirl @wealthysimmer @sokkla-wack-a-pow

Stress & Misunderstandings

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Azula/Sokka (Avatar), Azula & Sokka (Avatar)

Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Brief Mention of Mental Health Issues

Summary: Republic City ambassadors Sokka and Azula spend the day of Two Lovers' together.

Read on ao3 or below the cut

Sokka stood in the door of Azula’s office, “Ambassador Azula.” She didn’t look up from the stack of papers in front of her, “Can I help you, Peasant?” He let out a warm laugh and strolled further into her office, though he hadn’t been invited in.

His large brown fingers tapped on her desk, “It’s the feast day of Oma and Shu.” Her brows were pinched together as she studied the paper in front of her. She spun her quill in her fingers, “So?”

“So…you, me, couples massage.” She finally looked up at him, her brows still pinched together in annoyance. But then she really looked at him. He was taller than her, his muscles well defined and his brown skin was practically glowing in the evening sun. He tapped her desk again, “Come on, you’ve been a walking ball of stress the whole week and it’s been stressing me out.”

She had every right to be stressed. Her brother had trusted her to be the Fire Nation’s ambassador to Republic City and he had finally picked this week to check up on her. As if she was someone who needed to be checked in on. But Zuko’s visit had set Sokka on edge too. Zuko had put a lot of work into the new Republic City. Neither of them wanted to let him down.

It further complicated matters as Azula and Sokka decided to be fuck buddies. Well, at least, that’s what she thought they were. They had never really agreed to anything, but every few nights they went back to one of their apartments and fucked away the stress of trying to create something that had never been done before.

Except this last week, Azula had curled in on herself. She avoided Sokka at all costs. She couldn’t have Zuko know she was being anything but professional. She imagined it night after night in different forms- Zuko accusing her of not having changed, of manipulating Sokka. Azula couldn’t go back to the asylum. She was different, she had changed.

She had managed to stay away from Sokka the entire week and her brother seemed pleased at the work the council had accomplished. She waved goodbye to her brother earlier that afternoon on the docks, relieved that she was not on a boat back to the asylum.

She was brought back to the present by Sokka gently rubbing her hand, “Princess?” Her brows snapped back together in annoyance, “I’m not the Princess anymore.” Sokka’s bright blue eyes rolled, “Alright, former Firelord, we gotta go, we’re gonna be late.” Her golden eyes were still hard as she studied him. He walked around her desk and pulled her chair out, “Look, I don’t have a palanquin, but if I have to haul you over my shoulder-”

She shoved out of her chair and strode confidently out of her office. His large lazy strides kept pace with her. She flounced down the stairs, “We are going to a massage?” “Yep, Fire Nation and Watertribe ambassadors participating in Earth Kingdom traditions on an Earth Kingdom holiday.” She rolled her eyes, “It’s an asinine holiday.”

They pushed out of the doors and onto the busy street. He put his hands in his pockets, “Oh come on, be a good sport. We’re also going out to eat after.” She stopped walking and turned on him, “You made all these little schemes without conferring with me?” His eyes were soft as he looked down at her, “First of all, they are plans not schemes. Second of all, you’ve avoided me like a plague of pentapox all week. When was I supposed to tell you?”

She was going to have a permanent wrinkle in her eyebrows from glaring at him, “Pentapox isn’t a real disease, it’s something you conjured up dum-dum.” “Your Fire Nation army bought it, so they’re the real dum-dums.” Azula had changed, but she still didn’t like to be reminded of her failings. She venomously hissed at him, “4c.” He brushed it off and replied, “Oh, 7d.”

He started walking and she followed along, determined to get the last word. They had many arguments since the war ended, so they started short handing their debates with listed points. For example, 3f was “If you’re such a good strategist why did you fuck up on the day of the black sun?” and 42h was “If you’re such a good firebender, why is your fire the wrong color?”

Azula was pulled out of their argument as Sokka pushed open a shop door and bells tinkled to warn the owner of their arrival. It was a bit darker, with peaceful music low in the background and a few candles around. It smelled earthy, like they were in a hut in the swamp.

An Earth Kingdom gentleman bowed to them, “Ambassadors welcome, I am pleased that you are celebrating the feast day. Come right this way.” They followed him further into the shop into a smaller room with two cots. The man said, “I will leave you to undress to your comfort level. The masseuses will be in shortly.”

The door clicked shut behind him. Azula plopped onto a cot, fully clothed. Sokka started twisting off his tunic and snorted, “You’re supposed to undress.” Azula sniffed haughtily, “He said to my comfort level.” Sokka snapped his tunic off and kicked his boots into a corner of the room, “This will help you relax, I promise.” And no one had ever looked at Azula and promised that something good would happen to her, so she turned away from him and shrugged out of her tunic and pants.

They both got underneath the sheet of each cot. She laid on her stomach and rested her head on her folded forearms. She looked over at Sokka and he gave her a small smile. There was a sharp rap at the door and then two Earth Kingdom women walked in. Both of them cooed over Sokka and greeted him and it was very obviously not his first time here.

They asked happily, “What areas should we focus on today?” Sokka pointed at Azula, “Her shoulders and back. I just want my usual.” They nodded and then Azula felt one of the woman’s hands on her neck and Agni, did it hurt. She winced at the pain and heard the crackle of electricity in her finger tips.

She didn’t like being touched. She didn’t like not knowing what was going to happen next. How many people had laid on this cot? When was the last time these sheets had been washed?

Sokka’s voice sounded relaxed, “Doin’ okay over there, Princess?” “Fine,” she ground out, as the horrible wench prodded a particularly painful tissue in the side of her neck. The woman softly encouraged, “It may help you relax if you hold hands with your loved one.” Sokka reached in her direction, “Come on, loved one. ” “Do you ever shut up?” She snapped as she put her smaller hand in his.

He moved his hand up and held her wrist, avoiding the heat that was pumping in her finger tips. She took a deep breath to center herself. The massage was doing something with her chi. She took another deep breath. The candles in the room rose and fell with her breath.

She bit her lip as the woman’s hand dug into her shoulder blade. She kept conscious of her breathing and Sokka lazily rubbed her wrist. It put her slightly more at ease.

An hour later they strolled out of the shop. Azula had a bounce in her step, “I feel so relaxed.” Sokka looked down at her, “Oh, I’m glad one of us does. I could practically feel the lightning about to come out of you.” She rolled her eyes, “Oh don’t be so dramatic.” “Right, I’m the dramatic one,” he scoffed.

They walked a ways. Sokka quickly ducked into a shop and picked up a bag of food. As the sun finally set, he led them down to the docks. They sat quietly as Sokka unpacked the containers of food and handed her chopsticks. She spotted the container of mochi and immediately grabbed for it.

The lights of the ships illuminated their meal. Sokka broke the quiet by asking, “Did I ever tell you I went to the cave of two lovers? It was easily one of the most annoying days of my life.” She arched an eyebrow, “More annoying than today?” The grin he gave her was her favorite, lopsided and goofy, “Today doesn’t even come close.”

She cleared her throat, “Why didn’t you spend today with someone you actually like?” His face immediately morphed into confusion, “What?” “It’s the feast day of Oma and Shu- the day of two lovers. Why not spend it with someone you’re romantically interested in?” He face palmed and groaned, “For fuck’s sake.” He took a deep breath and asked, “Azula, what do you think has been going on with us the last few months?”

She answered, “You were nice to me and we became fuck buddies.” “Fuck buddies?” He asked incredulously. “Azula, I’ve brought you flowers, taken you out after council meetings.” He shook his head and started to stand up, “You know what, it’s fine. I’ll see you next week. Actually I might take a week or five off.”

She sprung up and had to sprint after him. She cursed him and his longer legs, “Sokka, wait.”  She caught up to him and grabbed his hand, “Just wait. I- I didn’t realize.” He bit his lip and shook his head in disappointment. She gripped his hand tightly. She didn’t know what to say, but she had to try, “Sokka, please. I like you.”

The old Azula would have been disgusted as the tears threatened to spill, but she was no longer above begging.

He brushed a stray hair out of her face and rested his forehead against hers, “I like you too. There’s no one I’d rather spend today with.”

[puppy-phum]

fic tag game

thank you so much for tagging me @i-am-just-a-kiddo ♥ i love rambling about my fics and my writing even if it always also brings up all the doubts and insecurities i have but. these are my children so i will show them some love :’) and it is always just wonderful to share this all with you my dear ♥

placing under cut bc i do ramble, as yall know to expect by now!

Name: VishCount i’ve already explained the origin of that name a couple of times so am sparing you from that but gotta just say that i never expected to get so fond of this username and the nicknames that followed ♥

Fandoms: wow ok so buckle up, this is gonna be a ride first i gotta mention the finnish fandom for this youtuber group called LaeppaVika. i adored them as a teenager and i still watch the videos sometimes :’) couple of the members still stream stuff even if the group has pretty much fallen apart by now and am just very fond every time. they feel like home in a way. those fics were my first ones and am still kinda proud of some of those?

then there’s this one random finnish utapri fic i once wrote... tbh i’m not sure why my anime fandoms never made me write anything? maybe it was the inexperience and the fear of using a second language lol 

after i got over that and got into BTS, i’ve written a ton for them. most of those are oneshots that vary from 1k words to 10k or something. a couple of longer ones have sprouted too and one is still in the making and i have sooooo many ideas. mostly just random aus. i adore to write those. 

lately MDZS has been my favored fandom and it has gotten some oneshots too as well as my gigantic xicheng fic that hangs somewhere well above 100k now. i wish to finish the last part for that soon but who knows, maybe it will take longer than expected sigh. and now DMBJ has pushed in as something that yells at me to write tho i’ve only posted a short oneshot for it for now. and oh, last year i also posted a couple of silly oneshots for 2moons! that was... weird tbh but am glad i did that. 

i wish i had more fandoms tbh bc there is so much interesting stuff there and i have so many ideas and inspirations but i’m very slow at writing. things don’t always just come out and some fandoms don’t grasp me for long enough that i would be able to tap into any projects. but i have no hurry, right?

Tropes: hmm do i have any? am not sure. i thought that maybe soulmate aus or some abo stuff was my thing but i’ve slowly drifted away from those. then it comes to just... idk. hurt/comfort? found families? i also adore slow burn these days and i feel like i’ve gotten a bit better at writing that but it’s still a struggle. also just, as already noted, all these different aus? mostly fantasy based ones. those are always so cool and somehow very whimsical? and lately i’ve also just fallen into this hole where i love to write some bittersweet tragedies or at least stuff that feels like a tragedy in some sense (and i blame my dear kiddo for that bc they’ve written the sweetest of tragedies and i want that too ok)

Fic I spent most time on: how do you count this? do wips count? bc if they do, then I feel like my xicheng fic called you’re the sunset and i’m the last purple left behind is it. it just keeps on going and i feel like i’ve given it all of my waking hours and heart and soul.  then it could also be my BTS abo fic My Lungs for You to Breathe that is slowly reaching its second year? am not sure. but it has been going for ages bc sometimes it comes and sometimes it goes and currently i’ve spent over six months without updating it and. yeah.  (it would be nice to mention some fic here that i’ve made some research for but tbh i never do any research. am horrible like that but i’ve never just. had the energy? tho i have hopes that i could go on this wild research spree for this one guardian idea i have but let’s see...) 

Favorite fic(s) you’ve written: (making a list bc am unable to choose, fight me)

and you remain - my pingxie oneshot that just helped me to get all of the feelings i had after tlt2 pour out. am very fond of it destiny tied us together - some introspection of lwj and jc’s relationship and how it changes throughout the years as they both mature, learn things about themselves, fall in love and realize that they share the same ppl in their hearts (and maybe develop a tentative friendship bc they’re so similar in so many ways). i had so much fun with this and it just felt like my brightest moment haha painting your skin with all of me - the xicheng soulmate oneshot i wrote at some point and still adore. it just seemed to work and in the middle of my xicheng struggles writing them so briefly and gently just felt right pouring love (growing flowers) - the ot7 oneshot i wrote bc of this one amazing twt prompt/moodboard. it was the last part of my mono series. i love it so much. joon was so nice to write throughout the whole thing ;;  lilies bloomed under your carpet - my god au for taejoon. it poured out of me so wonderfully and it was so amazing. still one of my favorite creations, this whole au.  Stories Untold / chapter 3 - this was a collection of taejoon oneshots that i was trying to make but am not sure if i will ever finish them all. but this one, where tae is a forest god and joon a human able to see supernatural things, is very dear to me bc it just feels complete

Fic I spent least time on: gosh i think it must be either my first wangxian oneshot we had it almost or my touch-starved joon oneshot show me my skin and touch my heart with very soft and lovely taejoon. both created themselves in a couple of hours?

Longest fic: currently my xicheng monster but i somehow expect my bts abo fic to get even longer if i ever manage to finish it

Shortest fic: it’s apparently my namseok fic for joon’s tokyo called missing you (i’m homesick). it created itself out of my own experiences of living in a long distance relationship and is one of my faves in that series.  

Most hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks: most hits and comments go for my bts abo fic which doesn’t really surprise me when it’s a multichapter fic :’D most kudos go for the already mentioned xicheng oneshot and most bookmarks go for the bts ot7 fic!

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: hmm if i could rewrite something, it would probably be my first bts fic and my second long fic called Even the Universe Makes Mistakes. that soulmate au now feels a bit outdated and there are many parts i would like to change and things i would love to think again.  then if i was allowed to expand some world, i would love to write more for the xicheng soulmate au bc there are many other pairings i would love to explore there too or just to see lxc’s take on the events perhaps. other thing would be my namgi oneshot it passes (for us both) bc i adore namgi and the love they create in that brief moment. 

Share a bit of a WIP: it hasn’t been long since i shared snippets of several wips but let’s go with my pingxie which i’ve been working on and am just so damn excited about (especially now that i can use the bazaar photoshoot imagery as inspiration):

“He moves, pulled in by the darkness of the lake, mirroring the softly blue sky with its gray, heavy clouds. The snow lands on his nose, into his lashes, clings to his coat and his shoes. He doesn’t feel cold, doesn’t hear anything beyond the softness of the snowfall. Nothing exists and everything does, real and fake at the same time, comforting but still making him feel afraid.

He could lose himself here, could be lost from everything. He could stay and be forgotten, could join those people that tried to make him remain, could take the easier way. He could rest, just like he was supposed to do so many times before.

Maybe he does belong, after all. Maybe he is part of this place, so awfully familiar with it, so willing to even stop his own heart to get here. And maybe he is not, this place only hungry for those who don’t yet remain, refuse to give into this dream-like space.”

thank you once more for tagging me my dear! this was fun even if looking back to my old fics and all the lack of updating and posting these days makes me feel kinda bad... i’ve just been in a slump lately and am slowly trying to get out of it even if i almost fall back in all the time. it’s funny when last spring i felt like i was at my peak sigh. but well, as i’ve already said, i have time right?

i dunno so many writers over here but i’m tagging @cross-d-a and @kholran bc i’m curious about your work. also tagging @inkblue-black and @jockvillagersonly if you want to blabber about something or if you just want to see this. and oh also tagging @wangxianbunnydoodles bc am always open for new ppl and i know that you write ^^ 

[mini-moongi]

For Rent || Jin

Genre: Fluff, angst, comedy(?), Jin x asexual!reader

Warnings: mentions sexy times and multiple funky fresh sex themes but no actual frisky actions cause I ain’t about that,,

Summary: Bts is a line of men who can be rented for various sexual activities. One night, Kim Seokjin hits the jackpot of being rented for a whole month. When he shows up with all of his “gear”, the last thing he expects is to become a live-in fiancé with a girl who isn’t into sex.

This is a Fem!reader 

A/N: This was supposed to be a quick oneshot drabble, but it’s 3.6k words..... anyways, Happy Birthday @ahgassok​ !! this is for you :)

────── ☽. ✧₊∘ ──────

Seokjin get’s called into the office after his latest gig. He walks in, still dressed up in a suit and tie because his client requested it, and takes a seat across from his boss.

 “Seokjin, you’re really moving up the ladder these days, aren’t you?” His boss smiles warmly at all of the attention Jin has been getting. Seokjin does have to admit though, he wasn’t a popular choice on the roster when he first joined, but that doesn’t quite mean his ranks have been smooth sailing either. “I have very exciting news for you, kid.”

“What is it, Boss?” Seokjin questions. This could go in two very different directions. He was either getting promoted, or he was being sold to a bigger company. 

“A client wants to rent you out for a whole month.” The big boss man is beaming to high heavens when he announces it to Seokjin. Jin’s eyes widen at the thought of someone wanting him for a whole month, let alone the sheer thought of how much that costed them was enough to send shivers down his spine. 

“...what?” Jin responds as an afterthought. Most people would rent by the hour with him. This was the most common and usual source of income; Clients want a one night with no guilty conscience of the other party, and that was fine. Being rented for a few days or even a week, however, was a big deal within the group. Seokjin hadn’t ever had a client for a whole week, but his much more popular and younger coworkers had. He remembers the story Jungkook told him about being rented out to a sorority group for a week, and then being called back by them for another fun weekend in Miami.

But being rented for a whole month? And it wasn’t an already existing client, it was someone entirely new to him. The Head Honcho gives him a rundown of company manners, and Jin can only nod dumbly as he tries to soak up all of the new information. He receives the client’s list of likes and dislikes, and in a blink of an eye, he finds himself walking back out the way he came.

Taehyung is the first to approach him; it’s the next day when Jin is packing all of his clothes from the company dorms. “I heard the big news, Hyung!” Taehyung exclaims. Out of all of the members, Taehyung was the only one who’d get rented out by the months. People requested odd jobs from him. Once, he got called in to model for a magazine company and then have sex immediately afterwords with the manager. “I’m so proud,” Taehyung feigns a sob-like expression,” My Kim Seokjin is finally getting the kind of work he deserves.”

“How do you do it, Taehyung?” Seokjin continues to fold his clothes neatly into a suitcase. “I don’t even know who I’m going to be spending all of this time with. What if.. what if they turn out to be some secret trafficking network? What if I get thrown into an underground mafia cult?”

“You’ll be fine,” He pats Jin on the shoulder. “Our company holds strict regulations and runs background checks on every client. I do admit, though,” Taehyung lulls his head to one side,” clients like these are always unpredictable.”

A good night’s rest and suddenly he finds himself standing in front of the client’s door. He didn’t really know what kinds of sex toys to pack since their form was answered in the most unconventional way possible. Instead of a list of kinks and turn ons, there were written-in answers, so he only knew that she:

1. really enjoyed baking, but isn’t very good at it. He wasn’t sure if this person had a sweets kink or something, but he wasn’t going to complain about whipped cream foreplay. 

2. liked a more domestic approach to love. Want’s to be called Love, Honey, sweetie, baby, etc.

and that was it. Other than her name, age, and birthday, that was it. It did say that she wasn’t a virgin, but maybe she wanted to have the “first time” experience with someone again? Jin decided to pack more normal toys, vibrators, dildos, condoms, and whatnot. Taking a deep breath, he knocks on the door.

When it opens, he sees the girl from the profile picture he was given. The reality was closing in on him that he was really going to spend a month with her. “..uh, hello, my name is Kim Seokjin, and I--” He’s caught off guard when she wordlessly takes his hand and gently pulls him inside.

Her home is relatively small, but it’s so minimalistic and clean that it looks like it came straight out of ikea. “Your profile said that you majored in acting, right?” his client asks him, and he’s suddenly scrambling to make a good impression.

“Yeah, I... I was an acting major.” He smiles at her.

She doesn’t say anything else, so he comes up to the kitchen island. Jin watches as she busies herself in the kitchen, making a milk tea of sorts. Your initial impression on him was calm and collected: you seemed neat and organized like your living space. What he notices however, is the way her hands are trembling ever so slightly as she pours the drink into two glasses. He realizes that even as sweet and pretty as she was, there wasn’t a smile. You were biting the inside of your cheek, and trying to take subtle deep breaths.

“Your name is y/n, right?” He waits for you to nod before he continues. “I don’t want to overstep any boundaries here, but,” Jin looks into y/n’s eyes,”....is there something bothering you?”

Immediately, the illusion that y/n worked really hard on started to crumble. All of the composure she had completely left her body in one shaky sigh. “I’m.. I’m so sorry I have to drag you into this.” She slides him one of the drinks as she perches herself on a nearby stool. “I know you’re supposed to be like my sexy fun time man, but I’m ace, so that’s kind of out of the question.” Y/n stares into her cup as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“....Then why am I here?” Jin wonders aloud. He doesn’t mind the fact that you’re not into intercourse like he is, but then again, doing the do is kind of his job.

“My dad,” y/n swallows the lump forming in her throat. “he’s started bothering me with questions about my love life. I felt bad, being in my late twenties and all, so I told him that I was engaged. Last week, he told me he wanted to meet my fiancé and that he was going to stay here for a few weeks starting next week.”

Jin stares at her in disbelief, what has he gotten himself into? “And you’re telling me that I’m.... I’m the fiancé?” 

A dry laugh escapes her lips, and if it weren’t for the absurdity of the situation, Jin would tell her how pretty she was. “Yeah,” She looks at him, finally letting herself take in his features. An oversized hoodie was draped over his large body with black ripped skinny jeans hugging his legs for dear life. There isn’t a hint of anger written on his face, only a comforting (albeit a little shocked) smile. “My dad owns a pretty big company, and he recently had a near death experience. Ever since then, everyone’s been breathing down my neck making sure I was stable in every way possible. And I mean every single fucking way. ”

“Why?” Jin quips. He takes a sip out of her concoction, praying that she didn’t slip him a drug of any sort. Holy shit, it was the best thing he ever came across since discovering Jungkook’s fursona. It takes everything in him to not make some weird howl of pleasure at the utter euphoria his tastebuds were experiencing.

“So, when he inevitably passes,” she grimaces,” I’ll be able to take over. I love my old man, and I was hoping that he could retire before I see him drop dead in the middle of his office one day. He always tells me it’s harder to fall in love after people learn about what position you’re in. Hence this weird must-already-have-a-fiancé rule.” A smile barely ghosts her lips before she takes a sip of her drink,” Sorry; I’ll understand if you don’t want to have anything to do with my soap opera-esque situation.”

He quietly sips his drink, lost in this pool of new information. Surprisingly, he’s been calm this whole entire time. If he’d been thrusted into this situation years ago, he’d have flipped out in a not so good way. Thank god he found his big boy pants before this; he genuinely wanted to help y/n. She seemed to be really considerate, and he wanted to stay. At the very least, she’d probably be able to make a killer margarita with drink skills like these. “Out of the whole line-up, why’d you choose me?”

She’s stunned for a moment before replying,”Why wouldn’t I?”

“It’s just,” Jin swirls the drink with his straw,” I’m sure I wasn’t the first name to pop up on our page.”

“Oh,” Y/n tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. A light blush sweeps across her cheeks, and she clears her throat. “..Is it weird you somehow fit my ideal type? I guess if I had to pick something, it’d be the way you smile.”

The reply was so simple, and yet it struck a chord with him. Usually when he asks, they say they like his plump lips or his feet, and if he was unlucky enough, they’d tell him he was convenient. Jin chuckles,” Y/n, are you trying to flirt with me? I’m already yours, but knock yourself out, baby.”

The first few days were awkward, to say the least. Jin on the job, but not doing his job, was hard to get used to. He’d often wake up and wonder where he was, only to remember the agreement he made days ago that started it all. This morning was much like the other ones: brief seconds of confusion followed by acceptance. Y/n’s house was nice, but after his conversation, she grew a little distant; the house felt emptier when she didn’t talk to him.

Jin rolls out of his bed, and trudged into the kitchen. This morning, he woke up earlier than her. Deciding that if he was hired to be a fiancé, he was going to be the best damned fiancé that she’d ever have. 

That morning was different from your usual mornings. You woke up to a sweet smell lingering in the air. In the early morning haze, you half dress yourself and wander into the kitchen area. The low sizzle of the pan greeted your ears, and Jin’s broad shoulders stood hunched over the stove. He notices your presence, and turns around with a smile, the pan still in his hands. 

“Good morning, sweetheart.” He says.

“...good morning?” Your brain is still trying to wake up and process what’s happening. “Am I dreaming right now?”

The response is just lighthearted chuckle. “I’ve made pancakes, do you want some?”

You nod without hesitation. The smell had your mouth watering, and the thought of its taste was like music to your ears. He slides a plate in front of you and pulls the syrup from the fridge. You both dig in, savoring the fluffy taste of pancakes. 

“You know, I’ve got to ask,” Seokjin starts,” what about the rings? We’re supposed to wear some, right?”

If you weren’t awake earlier, that question really woke your stupor. “oh.” was all that came out of you for a painfully long time. “...So you’re really okay with this?”

“It might be the weirdest job I’ve taken on, but yeah. I’m ready to fuck around if you are--- but not literally, I promise. I know how to keep my dick in my pants.” He laughs.

You’re relieved that he’s actually okay with this. The past few days, you were waiting for your proposition to sink in and see him leave whilst waving around a middle finger in the air. A breath you’ve been holding in finally came out. “Okay, I’ll go get the rings. I’ll be back in a sec.”

When you return, he’s still sitting there at the counter, patiently waiting for you. A part of you wished your past lovers were like this in real life: someone who’s this patient and kind can only be bought, you suppose. You open up the velvet box, revealing the two rings that were a part of your elaborate plan. 

“May I?” Seokjin breathes out. You nod and watch him carefully pick up the ring meant for you. He stifles a laugh and clears his throat. “Miss Y/n L/n, will you marry me for like, a month?”

“Yeah,” you smile. He slips the ring onto your finger, feeling the cool metal against your skin. It’s shiny and beautiful; it’s the perfect wedding ring. Of course, you did pick it out yourself and vividly recalling sweating bullets when asked any questions regarding your marriage. 

You pick up his ring and giggle a little to yourself; by Monday, you’d have to play the biggest game of pretend in your life. “Mr. Kim Seokjin, will you marry me for a month?” He gasps and fakes a shedded tear.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

------

You go on multiple dates and try to fabricate your story before Monday arrives. He’s much funnier than you anticipated him being, and he’s really good company to be around. “I almost choked Jimin out for not cleaning my fucking dildos. Like, who does that to a guy who lets you borrow them in the first place?” 

Your stomach hurts so bad from how much you’re laughing. Shrek 2 is playing, but it’s long forgotten as it turns into background noise. Jin relays his very bad experiences on the job, and his stories are so outlandish that you sometimes question the validity of it. “Are you kidding me? Remind me to never let him borrow my socks. I don’t trust him after everything you’ve told me.” 

Jin his desperately holding back his laughter, but the dam breaks soon enough. Monday morning arrives, and exactly at 10 in the morning, the doorbell rings. You make eye contact with Jin,”It’s show time.” You whisper.

You open the door and greet your father. “Y/n! I’ve missed you so much,” he hugs you closer than before, and you can’t help but smile at your dad’s affection. 

“Dad, this is my fiancé that I’ve told you about, his name is Kim Seokjin.” You watch as your old man’s face lights up, and he eagerly rushes over to him. Your father takes JIn’s hand in his and shakes it with enthusiasm. “You’ll have plenty of time to say hello.” You giggle.

After you and Jin get your father’s things settled into the guest bedroom, everything starts to sink in a little too well. Earlier you agreed that it’d “be weird if you didn’t sleep in the same bed together” and so, all of Jin’s items moved into your room, sex tools included. “What should we do about dinner? I feel like it might get weird at the table together.” He whisper-yells to you. Fear gripped onto his body,”What if I accidentally talk about Yoongi’s butt plug accident?”

It takes everything in you to not bust out in giggles right there in the guest room. “You’ll be fine, Jin,” You set the last of his things by the bedside table. “Just please, watch your mouth.”

Just as you both suspected, dinner was very awkward. “So, how did you meet my daughter?” Your dad asks as he picks away at his food.

“Oh, uh,” Jin glances over at you. There was no way to really know what you were thinking, but a subtle thumbs up soothed his worries a little. “We met at a mutual friend’s party. Yeah,” he smiles,” It was at Namjoon’s book club celebration when we first met.”

“You should’ve seen it dad. I’d have never thought that book clubs were so wild before,” you absolutely sell it to the big guy. Your elaborate stories and too accurate to be fake details worked. 

The rest of dinner went smoothly, in fact, the rest of your dad’s stay was absolutely fucking perfect. Jin was able to use his PG 13 humor (re: dad puns) and fortunately, your dad likes stale jokes. Everything was going great, and you’d even convinced your dad that retirement was a good idea.... that is, until today.

“....but didn’t you say that you met at a book club?”

You looked over at Jin like a deer caught in the headlights. Crap, you just told that you two met online. Jin notices your panicked expression. If this mission fails, Jin will have been royally fucked sideways like a sock puppet. “We first talked online, but we met in person during the book club meeting!!” He stammers out.

The tension built up inside of you faded away, and you make a note to remind yourself to tell Jin how big-brained he is. You don’t really know what’s happened to you and Jin, but all morning there have been slip-up after slip-up after slip-up. (after yet another slip-up.) 

Your father isn’t fully convinced though, and you fear that he’s caught on. “...I don’t know if I believe you right now.” uh oh. He squints at the two of you as you both sweat profusely with nervous smiles upon your faces. “Seokjin, why do you want to marry my daughter?”

Jin looks at you, but your dad keeps pressing on. “How can I be sure that you love her, and this isn’t some big ruse to run away with all of our money? I can see that y/n loves you to death, but for some unknown reason,” He stops to cross his arms. “I just feel like there’s something you’re not telling me. I don’t want to have to do a background check on you, so your best bet is to come clean.”

Jin takes a deep breath. “Sir, with all due respect, I think that if we told you how we’d actually met, you wouldn’t take our relationship seriously. I love y/n, I love her absolutely to the moon and back.” Jin grabs your hand firmly in his and gives it a gently squeeze. He looks at you and the soothing words part from his lips. “Even after you fly back home, I plan to spend my life with her, regardless of what you say.”

At this point you’re not sure where he’s going with this. The longer he talks, the more it sounds like the words are directed at you. “The truth is, we aren’t really married.” Jin looks back at your dad, who furrows his brow at the complex lie he was told the past month. “--But if this is what it’s like to be married to y/n, I think it might actually happen.”

“What? Jin I--” You’re unbelievably shocked. He just revealed to your dad that no, sorry pops, your only child isn’t married to a super cool guy. The possibility of actually being married to Jin perplexed you, though. Is this still the actor in him talking, or is he saying the truth? 

“Look,” your father sighs,” I don’t know what situation you’ve put yourself in to pretend you’re married, but damn it all to hell if you don’t actually marry this boy.” Your dad breaks out into a grin, signifying that Jin has passed the test. “If you don’t make him my son-in-law, I’ll find a way to do it myself.”

You’re still paralyzed as you watch your dad engulf Seokjin in a hug. Your dad looks happy to have met Seokjin, and vise versa. They get along better than peas in a pod, you realized. When this mission is over though, will you ever see Jin again? Already you’ve begun to miss his laughter. The way he sings in the shower, the way he pushes up his glasses while he’s reading, the way he says I love you; you’re going to miss it. All of it.

Like a final curtain call, the deal is over. You hand Seokjin an envelope containing the cash you owe him for his service. He takes it, and he places it onto his packed suitcase. Your eyes never leave his figure, and you watch as he gets up to be more leveled with you. “Y/n,” He says. “I meant what I said the other day; we may not be married now, but that doesn’t mean I won’t propose in the future.”

“This is your job talking right?” You laugh, but it lacks the usual give of happiness. “Don’t think it’s going to give you a bonus, hot stuff.”

“I’m serious.” He looks at you tenderly,” I actually really like you, you know. Hoseok regularly fucks a big corporate guy, so I have discounts at every Starbucks location if you wanna go out somewhere.” His thumb glides over the ring on your finger, lost in thought for a moment. “Call me a pool noodle and ride me backwards, but I think I’m going to miss you too much to actually leave.” 

“...Besides, I think the ring on my finger is stuck so--” he drawls out.

You snort in surprise, giggles bubbling from inside of you. Genuine ones this time. “I was going to miss you too, but I won’t have to if you’re not leaving.”

“I never really planned on it, sweetheart.”

────── ☽. ✧₊∘ ──────

A/N: my brain..... ‘tis empty...

[lov3nerdstuff]

... because you're mine.

*Tom Hiddleston x reader*

Oneshot

Words: 4.7k

Summary: Things get steamy between you and Tom after another man asks you out.

Request: I was the actress in Betrayal, but Tom was playing Jerry instead of Robert. As the production goes on, the kissing scenes get steamier (he finds THAT spot on my neck!) until I tell him my feelings, he says he doesn't reciprocate & doesn't do romance in the spotlight. After another man asks me out & I say yes (but don't realize it's a date) he kisses that spot during the performance & whispers that I'm his. 🤯 --> @annwhojumps

A.N.: Prepare for some jealous Tom 😉 also, 'I put a spell on you' can be read as an independent prequel to this, but srsly doesn't have to!

Also check out my Masterlist!

_______________________________

You had absolutely no idea why you had been cast to play one of the main characters in this highly prestigious production of one of your favorite plays… After all, you had only auditioned for fun! As a recent graduate from the school of dramatic arts, your chances really hadn't been all too high, and yet you had been selected for the title role. However the shock of it was only topped off when on the first day of rehearsals, you had discovered that your fellow actors were nothing but the brightest stars of modern age theater… and your scene partner was none other than Tom Hiddleston.

Yet, as surprising as it might have been for everyone in the theater, you and him had connected immediately, on a level neither of you really understood. But you had both been certain by lunch break that you would definitely enjoy being around each other from now on.

The first days of rehearsals went well, to say the least, and every single day you and Tom got closer. You got to know each other better, more than anyone else in the cast, and spent almost every waking minute at each other's side. And once the actual rehearsal period started and everyone got on stage, you found yourself enjoying the whole thing immensely. Acting with Tom was the greatest joy, for he seemed to really enjoy both your general company and your professional work together, and even the other A-listers seemed to warm up to you slowly. Still, nobody had an idea why you had been selected for the role, but honestly it didn't matter much. You fit in so nicely with the more experienced actors that in no time, everyone seemed to have forgotten that this was, in fact, your first real job.

Yet, as rehearsals continued on to a more detailed level, not just the blocking, you found your nerves and stomach in knots as you got ready to start the first real run through the scenes.

In the final act of the play, you would need to not only kiss Tom, but literally make out with him on stage, in front of your colleagues and the audience… The thought of stage kissing alone made you nervous, for it had never been your favorite thing even in school, and the thought of kissing Tom of all people simply had you close to hyperventilating.

The thing was… you wanted to kiss Tom. More than anything, actually, for with every new day you spent joking, bickering, laughing and talking with him, your adoration for him turned into the deepest affection, turned into sincere love. And even worse: Tom was so much more than you could ever have hoped for, and it was simply impossible to not love him more with every fucking day. Yet you didn't dare to confess your feelings. It was unprofessiona l, and you were supposed to work together with him here, not fall for him. If people got to know about your feelings, they surely would call you either starstruck or simply unprofessional, and nobody in the field would ever cast you again. Fuck.

So you ignored your feelings, pushed them away to as much as the by now close friendship you had would allow you to show. It was painful, but necessary. Even more so since he kept being overwhelmingly nice to you, walking the thin line between friendship and something more like it was a freaking highway. You couldn't tell what he felt for you even if you tried… one moment he was just being the dork he really was, and the next he would stand impossibly close to you, looking into your eyes like you were all that mattered to him in this world.

And now that you stood in front of him, looking up into his eyes with all the overwhelming nervousness and tornment, his soft smile and gentle eyes were balm for your soul.

"Relax, Y/n. It'll be fine..." He whispered to you so that the others wouldn't hear, only seconds before his nose brushed against yours ever so slightly, hot breath fanning across your lips as they parted ever so slightly on their own account. Your eyes fluttered shut. This wasn't Tom kissing you… this was his character kissing yours.

Soft, chilled lips connected with the corner of your mouth as his hands grabbed onto your waist, gentle fingers brushing against the small glimpse of heated skin just below the hem of your shirt. Your breathing hitched. His lips ghosted over your jaw as his hands trailed down to your hips, your thighs… you were supposed to push him onto the couch behind him.

Reluctantly, a little too reluctantly even for your character, your palms pressed against his toned chest, curling around the soft fabric of his shirt. He nibbled on your jaw, and you pulled him closer to yourself by his shirt. A low, growling sound escaped his lips as they left a trail of feathery kisses down your neck, and you finally managed to give him a little push that made him fall backwards onto the couch. Yet he held on to your hips tightly, and you came crashing down on top of him, straddling him as your heart threatened to jump out of your chest. A brief glance into his darkened eyes… you gasped, and Tom stared at you like a deer in the headlights. Awe mixed with fear.

"That was amazing, guys!" David, the director of your play, called from the side of the stage, and your breathing hitched yet again as you snapped out of this moment of public intimacy. How the hell were you supposed to do that every day from now on, without giving yourself away?

Rather awkwardly you got off Tom's lap, and forced away the blush as he tried to do the same.

"You, uhm…" Tom spoke up from right next to you, voice hoarse and heavy. "You did really well."

"Oh… thanks." You replied quietly, trying to calm down your racing heart for the next scene. And that hadn't even been a full on kiss to the lips!

_______________

For the next two weeks, David had Tom and you rehearse the scene every day, and every day things got steamier, more raw, more real… At least they switched out the couch thing for you sitting on a counter to be on eye level with Tom, but honestly… that didn't make it any better. Your fellow actors put it off as fabulous acting, but you knew that it wasn't quite the case. Every day, hiding your true feelings for Tom got more difficult, and every day you felt more desperate for a real kiss.

That was until one Friday night, when David made you run through the entire play yet another time. It was already fairly late in the evening, but he'd promised to just have ONE more go before everyone could go home. Everything went well as always, you played your part with the greatest joy and focus, right until it was time for that scene again. It started off like all the times before, Tom stepped closer to you with the most intense energy that alre ady had your skin covered in goosebumps before he even touched you. Gentle hands on your waist, pulling you close as he stood in between your legs… a ghost of a kiss to your jaw, down your neck… your eyes closed as they always did. This time however, be it for the late hour of night or your increasingly shrinking resistance to your own emotions, your hands moved to his neck before you could will them not to, gently tugging on the lush curls in his neck. Almost immediately the faintest sigh, almost a quiet moan, escaped his lips and their loving work on your neck grew bolder, firmer… Until he found that one, secret and crazy sensitive spot that upon the touch of his lips made your back arch towards him and your mind become even more hazed. Now it was you who let out the faintest moan, unable to keep quiet, yet only for him to hear. The grip on your waist tightened ever so slightly, and before you knew how to hide the effect he had on you, he gently bit down on that oh so sensitive spot, sucking and nibbling on your delicate skin.

You felt like exploding, inside out, within your mind and in every cell of your body. Every single nerve of your being was ablaze, the feeling of his lips on your skin, his hands on your body… it all contributed to the hidden coil of pure energy within you that was dangerously close to bursting. If you snapped now, the entire production crew would become an involuntary witness to your impossible love for Tom. And that would be your downfall even before the rise.

But just then the scene continued on, and you were pushed around by other characters, spoken to and spoken for, all until at last, the play ended and the crew applauded, before you practiced who would bow when and leave to which place. Yet, your mind wasn't even in the same theater anymore. Your thoughts were far gone, to a place where only you and Tom existed, a place where you could let yourself love him.

Before you knew, David had finished his commentary of the performance, all the actors had said their goodnights and even the staff had sorted out the last of lighting and audio. Only you were left on stage, frozen in place with only the dim emergency lights illuminating the area around you. The entire audience room lay in darkness, as did the sides of the stage… only the center was lit up so sparsely that it was almost spooky.

"Are you alright?" Tom's voice from right behind you made you jump yet again, and he chuckled upon your flinching.

"God, you scare me!" You breathed, holding a hand over your racing heart. At least, if he could hear your frantic heartbeat now, you had an excuse.

"Nah, you can keep calling me Tom. 'God' is a bit too much." He winked at you with a smirk, and you just had to laugh. Tom was the greatest dork, and you absolutely loved it. "Why are you up here, all alone? Everyone else is heading home."

"I'm not alone. You're here." You smirked at him, wiggling your eyebrows in an attempt to make him laugh. It worked, and even in this minimal light, you could still see his eyes sparking down at you… oh, that darn spell he put on you.

"Wanna tell me what's up?" He inquired, leaning his head to the side.

"Why would something be up?" You frowned, but the slightly too high pitch of your voice gave you away. For an actress, you were horrible at lying. Especially to Tom.

"I can always tell when you're distraught, darling." He mused, then turned around and walked to the edge of the stage, jumping off and vanishing in the darkness of the audience room.

"I'm not distraught!" You protested into the darkness. "I'm just… stressed. Because of the opening night in a week. That's all. And what are you doing over there anyway?"

"Making sure you, my darling Y/n, feel less stressed!" He replied cheerily, and mere seconds later you heard soft tunes coming from the theater's speakers, flowing through the empty room like a soft wind, a breath of fresh air. A smile came onto your lips, and a few short moments later Tom got back onto the stage with you. "They've all gone home, so we shouldn't be bothering anyone."

Again you smiled, resisting the urge to rip your heart out of your chest and tell it to slow the heck down. Tom was ALWAYS around you, wherever you went… this wasn't new. But usually you weren't completely alone, and usually your steamy scene didn't leave your heart screaming and begging for more this badly. For something real.

"Here…" He handed you his phone as he came to stand right in front of you. "Choose a song and we'll dance."

"We can't…" You frowned, but still took his phone upon his request. "This is work, I cannot lose my job, you know that very well, and the theater…"

"Will still be here tomorrow morning just like it is right now." Tom interrupted you with a mischievous yet happily excited smile. "Dance with me? Please?"

Oh, how could you resist those puppy eyes? Never, not in a million years could you refuse that man anything at all. With a sigh you considered your options… it was now or never. This was your chance to tell him, to SHOW him how you felt, despite everything that spoke against it. But he needed to know, and he deserved to know. And thus you made your song choice accordingly.

For a short moment Tom frowned, but once the lyrics started his eyes widened in recognition, and he smiled brightly. "Hey, I actually know a version of this song!"

"Good…" You chuckled, then returned his smile. He took a step towards you, taking your hands in his reluctantly and carefully, but still with that adoring smile. Slowly he pulled you closer to himself while his eyes never left yours, until at last he wrapped an arm around your waist and kept holding your hand in his own.

"Dance with me?" He asked again in a quiet voice that barely stood out over the music surrounding you, and all you could do was nod as you lost yourself in his eyes once more. Only that you couldn't yet say if you lost your bravery or your restraint.

Gently swaying to the music, Tom's hold on you seemed to tighten by the second while your emotions tightened around your throat in a menacing grasp, squeezing until you could hardly breathe anymore. Your hand on his back, clasping his shirt tightly, and your head fell against his shoulder as your eyes closed to the strong beating of his heart. Could he be feeling the same for you? He surely was all about you, every single day… but always reluctant to cross the line of friendship. You had to know, or your mind would tear your soul apart.

He had always been there to comfort you once you had started to doubt your place among the cast, and always pointed out how absolutely amazing you were in his eyes, both as an actress and as a person. And after you had told him about your fear of getting kicked out of the production, he had hugged you tightly and told you that he would make sure that nothing of the sort would happen.

"Oh gosh…" Tom suddenly breathed and you were forced to lift your head again, eyes locking back with his.

"What's up?" You frowned ever so slightly as you spoke, only to find your voice laced with the impossible weight of bottled up emotions.

"I… uhm, your skin…" He started, letting go of your hand in order to touch a gentle finger to the small bruise forming on your neck.

Your breathing hitched as his fingertips traced over that certainly spot once more, but you couldn't bring your eyes to leave his even though they were doomed to darken upon his gentle touch. The song ended, the theater fell quiet but for your shivery breath. Tom's eyes remained on yours, blown and unfathomable in the depth of their ever concealed emotions… his fingers ghosted over the spot on your neck yet again, and you visibly jumped right under his fingertips. His eyes darkened.

And before your mind could come back to its right place in the shadows of worry, your lips were ghosting over his in a gentle brush of reluctant innocence. Careful, asking for silent approval… but it never came.

You took a step backwards, tearing your own heart out in the process, while looking into Tom's wide eyes that were so hopelessly full of mixed emotions that you couldn't possibly tell what he felt. He only stared at you with the saddest face as his chest rose and fell too quickly and the silence between you became unbearable.

"I'm sorry…" You breathed and finally allowed the tears to gather in your eyes, blurring your vision and making it luckily impossible to see the pained expression his own gaze held. "I'm so sorry… I… I love you Tom. I love you… I'm so sorry."

For a few seconds he just stood still right in front of you, the very incarnation of a torn soul, until he finally took a step backwards. Your heart shattered into a million pieces.

"I'm sorry, Y/n…" He breathed with an expression that through your tears looked utterly unfathomable. "I… I can't."

"It's okay…" You smiled through the tears, adding just one more dagger to your already shattered heart. "You don't have to love me. It's okay."

Tom's lips parted immediately as if to reply something he knew he shouldn't, but he closed them again and looked down to the ground with a frown. Silence…

You couldn't bear it any longer, neither the pain nor the sight of his regretful face. It really wasn't his fault that you had fallen in love with him, and it wasn't his fault that he didn't love you back.

"You, uhm… you may not want to kiss that spot on my neck again, in rehearsals. It would be rather painful." You said quietly, as you walked past Tom towards the stage door without another word. And had you turned around only one more time, you might have caught a glimpse of the tears in his eyes.

_______________

You honestly didn't know what you had expected. That someone like Tom would actually love you back? Well, maybe. That telling him would make you feel better? Definitely. But had it? No… it made everything worse, and you could only hope to pick up the pieces now before it would be too late to save the friendship you had established.

And yet, on Monday morning when rehearsals went into the final week before opening night, you couldn't bring yourself to face Tom. Just looking at him, drinking coffee or eating sugar cookies or whatever, it made you want to bawl all over again, despite your attempt to convince yourself that you had run out of tears by Sunday night. And as Monday continued, you did your job and played your part surprisingly well for someone who hadn't slept a single minute in three days. Only that you avoided speaking to Tom despite your heart's ardent yearning to be close to him again… you honestly didn't know what you should've said.

And so the week continued with as much professionalism as you could manage, however the play's happiest scenes seemed a little more dull, like December's prevailing grey, while the sad ones appeared downright tragic in their deep sorrow. Yet, luckily, nobody but you seemed to notice. Almost nobody… for Tom's smile these days seemed to differ not from his character's, fooling even the most watchful eye but yours. You knew him better by now, knew that his honest smile did inexplicable things to you while his feigned one merely served to set lose the smallest butterflies. Or maybe they were moths indeed.

All your energy went into doing the best possible acting job you could, and actually succeeding in it.

Yet, on Thursday night, the second to last day of rehearsals, an event as unexpected as dawn at midnight momentarily lifted you out of your gloom.

"Hey, Y/n?" David called to you once everybody moved to the backstage area to pack up for the night.

"Yeah?" You managed as much as an acknowledging frown, but not a smile.

"Uhm, you know… I was wondering if you would fancy some dinner tonight? Nothing special, really, but there's this nice pub around the corner, and they serve the best burgers in town. I'm paying! Still owe you for that ingenious idea with the counter." He shrugged as he came to stand in front of you with a small smile, looking at your face expectantly.

In all honesty, you were starving. Luckily the first paycheck from the theater had come in, but that had barely sufficed to pay off the debt you'd gotten into over the previous period without work. That still left you with very little money to spend on quality food, and the prospect of both getting something to eat and some distraction from your thoughts about Tom sounded very tempting all of a sudden. And David had said it was nothing special, after all. Only payback.

"Sure, sounds great." You returned a weak attempt at a half smile. "Just let me grab my things and I'm all ready to head out."

He nodded, and you did just as you had said, walking over to the dressing rooms to get your bag and jacket as quickly as you could, for your stomach wouldn't hold up much longer before it would start digesting itself. And yet, just on your way out of the shared dressing room, rounding a corner, you bumped into someone. The someone was Tom.

Your eyes locked with his immediately as they went wide with both surprise and shock, and for a few long seconds you only stared at each other in this unfathomable expression of mixed guilt, sadness, pain and longing. It hadn't even taken one single, broken second however for him to have you under his spell yet again.

As your lips parted at last, in an attempt to force your brain to form sentences, his gaze darkened and he looked away, a deep frown falling upon his face.

"Tom…" You started, but he interrupted you before you could bring out any expression of sincere remorse.

"Have fun with David." Was all he said before he pushed past you into the dressing room and left you standing in the dim overhead lights of the hallway, alone.

_______________

The evening went alright, for you at least succeeded in one thing out of the two you were hoping for, namely getting something proper to eat. Forgetting about Tom however didn't even remotely work out, for David kept going on and on about how amazing the two of you were doing in the play, except for the last scene, which according to him had gotten a little stiff, beginning with this week. You'd agreed of course, but not told him the reason for that, and only promised to do better on Friday.

Yet once Friday afternoon came, and it was time to run through the entire play one last time, you stood on stage chewing on your bottom lip. The first half of the play had gone well, and you used the break in between now to try to gather up some courage to do the scenes with Tom the best you could. David however interrupted your train of thought as he slalomed around your co-actors on stage, towards you. As he politely pushed some people out of the way, you spotted Tom on the other side of the stage, watching you intently.

"Y/n!" David said cheerily as he came to stand in front of you, and you put on a fake smile. "Y/n, I… I just wanted to thank you again for the lovely evening. It was a little… spontaneous, for a first date, but-"

"Date?" You blurted out, interrupting David. Behind him, you saw that Tom was walking away. Damnit. So you focused back on the man in front of you with a blush and an irritated expression. "Uh, I… we… but…"

Recognition flashed through David's face, before a sheepish smile spread on his lips and he chuckled in what you could only call embarrassment. "Well, I see we didn't really have the same idea about last night then… Uhm… I… I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I really didn't mean to. If you'd prefer it not being a date, that's perfectly fine. Sorry."

"Oh, no, I mean yes, I mean… I'm sorry! I kinda didn't get the gist last night, and I thought we were only going for dinner as colleagues, or friends… because that's really all I consider us to be…" You said, feeling a little bad for him. But you really didn't have any interest in him like that, and your mind was entirely elsewhere at the moment. "But you know, it's totally fine… We had a fun evening and now that we're on the same page about that, all is good. Right?"

"Yeah… All's good." David gave you another apologetic smile. "Thanks for being so chill about this… misunderstanding."

"Oh, don't worry… I have enough drama in my life right now to suffice a lifetime. I don't need any more of it." You chuckled softly, and David gave you a thumbs up before making his way off stage to announce the end of the break.

_______________

Something was off. Not only because Tom was actually a good five minutes late for the second half of the play to begin, but also because he refused to even look at you during the first scenes. Your stomach was in knots, as were your nerves. Gods, you missed him...

Then it came to your scene… and Tom's eyes were on yours so suddenly that they felt like a strike of lightning that went right to your core. He had you under his spell again in an instant, and you were lost for the outside world.

His gaze was dark, intimidating… dangerous, as he came walking towards you, and you felt like prey sacrificed to a starving god. The hand that usually fell to your waist in such a gentle manner was replaced by a strong, demanding grip that had your skin covered in goosebumps immediately as he pulled your frozen frame against his own once he stood in between your legs, tightly pressing you against him. Your lips parted.

An inch between your face and his, quivering breath fanning across your skin… the gentlest of kisses on your cheekbone, a ghosting of his lips down your cheek. Your eyes fluttered shut as your head leaned to the side, willingly surrendering to him the most sensitive skin of your neck.

A sigh from the depth of his throat, and your breathing hitched, your hand reaching out to touch him only to halt mid-air in a shiver of reluctance, of remembering… The sweetest of kisses in a torturing slowness down your neck, the tickle of his breath on your skin, and your hand became entangled in his curls without your permission.

A low hum met your ear from the depth of his chest as his lips grew bolder and his hold on you stronger… You pulled him closer to you with the faintest gasp, tugging on the silken strands of hair between your fingers. The echo of his heartbeat in your chest, drumming with your own.

A growl… his lips found your weakest spot where last week's bruise was fading alongside the memory of his touch. A bite. Your quiet moan into the silent room, his name falling from your lips like a silent prayer. You pulled him closer… He stilled. A deep breath.

Tom's lips were on your own in a heartbeat, intense and passionate like licking flames, taking and giving the love previously denied. You gasped, and he took the opportunity to trace your bottom lip with the tip of his tongue, asking, trying… and you allowed him.

Like troubled waters that roughly wave, your mind's twists and turns ebbed down only with the passing storm at last, and finally you could see, could feel, through the sudden regained clearness, to the very bottom of the sea of truth. Tom loved you… he had all along.

Then your thoughts stilled once his lips left a haunting trail of feathery kisses as they moved to your ear, and at last he spoke in a whisper. "You're mine."

______________________________

General Tags:

@its-remy-not-ratatouille @wegingerangelica @thidls12333 @tomstoobeautiful @dreary-skies-stuff @averyhill4445 @wiczer @lotus-eyedindiangoddess @theweirdlunatic @caretheunicorn @kthemarsian @lady-of-lies @sadly-falling-through-wonderland @strawberrysandcream @noplacelikehome77 @theoneanna @mishaandthebrits @mygodisloki @i-am-a-mes @nonsensicalobsessions @exygon @hiddles-lobotomy @rjohnson1280 @annwhojumps @spookycatqueen @salempoe @headoverhiddleston @fanfiction-and-stress @createdfromblue @halszka-potter @thecreatiivecorner @themusingsofmany @inthemarvelvoid @from-hel-i-with-love @kinghiddlestonanddixon @scorpionchild81 @foodthatsgoodforyoursoul @crystal-28 @adefectivedetective @lokis-girl-in-mischief @booklover2929

I sincerely hope you guys enjoyed this 😊💚💚 I was kinda inspired to write something more steamy both by @hopelessromanticspoonie and @just-the-hiddles , for they just write the greatest steamy stuff 😁 I'm still trying to improve though, so feedback is more than welcome 💗 hugs!

[cesabutterflywrites]

525,600 Minutes

Summary: Logan meets Patton in a coffee shop after losing his connection to the stars. What follows is a year of their life, and their first seasons of love. Inspired by Seasons of Love from the musical RENT.

Word Count: 15,708

Rating: Strong T for mild cursing, mentions of sexual intimacy

Ship: Logicality

Characters: Logan/Logic, Patton/Morality, Thomas Sanders(brief), Virgil Sanders(brief)

Warnings: Suicide mention, self deprecation, anxiety, alcoholism, arguing

A/N: This was supposed to be 4k words and a little short oneshot. The infamous fic I’ve been complaining about for a while. It was supposed to be a little fluff piece to distract from my Prince in the Storm fic. Well, Patton and Logan had other ideas. I put a lot of effort into this, but it has been a few years since I’ve written anything so it will be a bit rough in some areas. I hope you enjoyed and feedback is encouraged. This is not a multichapter. Also on Ao3. Song Logan sings is Irresistible by One Direction. 

525,600 minutes

Summer

It was a hot August evening. Despite the darkness of the night, the temperature outside was still a good seventy degrees Fahrenheit. There was a hint of a breeze in the air, however, that made it more bearable to go stargaze.

One thing Logan loved about summer nights were the clear skies; perfect for seeing the sky with its navy hues of blue and purple. He also enjoyed how the grass in his backyard wasn’t muddy from rain. It was still soft enough to lay on (with a blanket underneath him, of course).

Summer nights were for relaxing. The heat hardly made it easy to do anything productive. Even less invigorating activities such as reading, sitting at a desk, and taking a shower ended with him still drenched with sweat. While it was grimy, dirty, and made his skin feel uncomfortable...he also loved it. The heat swelling in his face gave him the feeling of life that he had lost over the course of cooler months.

Knowing it was hot outside, he was prepared in adequate attire. He did not want to dirty any presentable clothes with grass stains, so he wore what would be deemed as ‘house wear’. A white tank top that was a bit too small from many times in the dryer, some denim shorts with a belt. It was not his preferred way to dress, in fact he avoided thinking about what would happen if any of his friends saw him in those clothes.

When the blanket was laid down, Logan rested his head in his hands and looked at the stars. Of course, he could name the constellations that were popular. Orion, Ursa Major, et cetera. However when Logan needed a break from recalling fact, when he needed a moment to just exist within himself, he made his own constellations. That was what summer was for. Summer was for retreat. Time away from work, away from stress, away from...people.

That night, however, he struggled to come up with an image. His mind kept swirling with questions about the stars. What would it mean to touch a star? What would it feel like to see the stars in someone’s eyes? Everyone around him in the summer were focused on romantic endeavors. His colleagues would take about their dates to the boardwalk, to an ice cream parlor, to a swimming pool. Summer seemed to be the time where everyone found someone.

Logan took a deep breath in, tasting the hot moisture of the night and letting it stick to his lungs. He was not blind to the fact that he was thirty years old without ever having a...person. Not that he didn’t desire anyone, he just never found someone he ‘clicked’ with. Of course, there was no point in setting himself up for heartbreak when he saw there wasn’t a stable enough connection. Most times it wasn’t bothersome, most times he could be distracted by his work and the stars. For as long as he could remember, the stars were better companions than other species. They listened to his concerns without him ever needing to verbalize them. They heard his deepest wishes, tasted his loneliness when it was unbearable.

So what was different about that night? He could see the stars but it was as if they had hung up on him. It was as if they abandoned him. When all he sought was some relaxation, he was met instead with isolation.

He closed his eyes, hoping that by doing so the galaxies above him would shift just enough for him to pick up the connection.

When he opened them, there was a bright sun and the sky was a light blue. He brought his hand up to shield himself from the sudden burst of light to his eyes. His skin was sweaty, and a bit red. His tank top stuck to him and his shorts chafed against his thighs.

He hadn’t meant to fall asleep. Perhaps the warmth of the night had acted like a blanket and helped him drift off.

With a sigh, he slowly pulled himself off the ground to make his way indoors. He didn’t want to bother with the blanket, what he needed was a cold shower and some aloe vera lotion. After that, an iced coffee.

~~~~

The coffee shop wasn’t very crowded when he arrived. Most everyone had already grabbed their drinks and were enjoying the sun. Logan wasn’t too burned by his outdoor slumber, the only place he felt sore was his face.

When he got to the counter he noticed the barista was new. Chocolate brown locks curling over a tan face with a splatter of freckles along soft cheekbones and a button nose. The man made the standard uniform of white shirt, black pants, and a blue apron seem like something out of a magazine.

Logan felt his face heat up even more. It was uncomfortable to blush under his burn, but not unwelcome.

“Hi there! Welcome to Skye’s Cafe. What would you like to order today?” the barista asked, and Logan nearly fainted. His voice was filled with such enthusiasm. Logan hadn’t thought it possible that he could hear sunlight.

“Uh-I would like a, um,” Logan needed to think. What had he come in for again? Where was he? His skin was on fire from the intense waves of immediate attraction pulling him in.

“Don’t worry, take your time,” the man encouraged, “There’s no one behind you so don’t feel rushed.”

Logan glanced behind him and was brought back to earth. He shook his head as if the feelings that overcame him were nothing more than fleeting thoughts.

Turning back to the handsome figure behind the register, he gave his order as casually as he could, “Iced coffee, light cream and sugar.”

The barista cheerfully nodded as he put the order into the register. Next he grabbed a cup and sharpie, “Name?”

Logan’s throat closed but he managed to get out, “Logan”

“Logan, what a great name. Mine is Patton!”

Another wave of emotion crashed over Logan. Patton. Suddenly he knew the name of God’s most perfect angel. Fire licked at his feet and he struggled to keep his balance.

“Thank you, uh, Patton. Are you new here?” Logan asked, noticing the nervous tone in his own voice.

Patton didn’t seem to notice the edge in Logan's voice. He walked off to start making the drink but he answered, “Yes I am, today is actually my second day out of training.”

Logan didn’t have a response other than ‘hm’. Patton had gotten the drink ready quicker than any of the other baristas had before. Logan grabbed the drink from the counter and indulged in one more glance at Patton’s face. They both exchanged a smile.

“That was the quickest anyone made my drink,” Logan blurted out.

A pink blush crept up underneath the freckles on Patton’s face. “Oh, thank you. Everyone has been saying that today. I guess I’m a quick learner.”

“Well, thank you. I hope to see you more often,” Logan internally chastised himself. He didn’t mean to overstep his bounds.

Patton blushed even harder, “Well, at the end of the week I’ll know what my schedule is for sure. Maybe after that I could tell you.” Patton’s eyes went wide when he realized the implication of what he said, “O-of course, so you can have your drink made quicker!”

Logan smirked at the flustered barista. It was a comfort to know he wasn’t the only one flustered. “Then I’ll hope to see you when you know.”

Patton only nodded in response, then the bell rang signaling another customer walking in. “Well, it was nice talking to you Logan. I hope you enjoy your drink.”

Logan nodded then went to sit down at his usual table in the corner near the window. It was the perfect lighting for reading a book. He took a sip of his drink and jolted a bit.

So this is what heaven tastes like

~~~~

A few weeks went by, August was nearly over, and Logan made it a point to go get coffee 10 minutes before Patton was due for a break. They had gotten to know each other quite well, though Logan realized the man of sunshine could be a bit...eccentric.

“Hey, teach, wanna hear a joke?” Patton asked as he sat across Logan.

Logan sighed. Mostly out of habit, he knew whatever joke came out of those pink lips would fill him with joy. “Sure, go ahead Patton.”

Patton started giggling, barely able to start. Logan’s heart pounded to the rhythm of the sound. “Okay, okay. What,” Patton grinned at Logan with a raised eyebrow, “do you call a pan from mars?”

Logan’s eyebrows scrunched, wondering what the punchline would be. “There are no pans on Mars that we know of.” He responded.

“Marzipan!” Patton shouted before dissolving into a mess of giggles. His arms wrapped around himself in an attempt to hold himself together.

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “That one didn’t even make sense, Pat.”

It took a few seconds for Patton to compose himself to respond. Logan felt a smile tug at his lips at how absolutely precious the man in front of him was. “It doesn’t have to make sense, that’s why it’s so funny!”

Logan let out a small laugh, “Whatever you say, Sunshine.” Logan’s eyes widened immediately. He hadn’t meant to call Patton Sunshine, it just slipped out.

Patton looked stunned for a minute, before he broke out into a wide grin. “What did you call me?”

“I- I didn’t mean… I hadn’t meant to- I’m so sorry I don’t know where that came from.” Logan put his head in his hands to hide his blush and shame from Patton.

“Hey Logan, look at me,” Patton requested softly. Logan just shook his head in his hands, refusing.

He didn’t hear Patton move, but suddenly there was a warmth sitting next to him. Gentle, soft hands wrapped themselves around Logan’s wrists and tugged them down. Logan was a slave to the request, fire spreading up his veins and causing his heartbeat to fill his head and ears. He looked at Patton to see a light in those puppy brown eyes he had come to quickly fall for.

“It’s okay, I like the nickname. I’m flattered that you think so highly of me, cause...well I…” Patton looked out the window behind Logan, a twinkle in his eyes and red starting to creep up along his cheekbones. “I think pretty highly of you, too.”

Logan couldn’t hear his thoughts, or perhaps he had none. Words had escaped his mouth and mind as they had the first time he laid eyes on Patton. “How much?” he asked. He needed to know if Patton, too, felt the fire. He needed to know if Patton felt the pull as well.

The curly haired, freckled, sunshine man looked into Logan’s eyes. There was the fire. The flames Logan had felt consuming him all these weeks; they came from those eyes.

Patton moved a hand to reach up to Logan’s face. He waited for Logan to nod before making contact. Logan felt himself lean into Patton’s hand. It was almost as if those hands were sculpted to hold him. Or maybe Logan’s face was made to be the clay Patton were to use to his own will. Patton didn’t seem to know it, but he held all of the power over Logan.

“I think you are so smart. You may seem annoyed by my humor, but I can tell that you secretly enjoy it. You have pretty blue eyes that make me feel like I’m in a refreshing pool of water. You seem guarded with everyone except me, and I feel that it is an honor that is rarely given. So, I think very highly of you.” Patton’s voice was low for once, his words sounded as if he had rehearsed what he needed to say.

Logan could no longer bear it. He was too warm, his throat was dry, he needed to do something to release and cease the heat. He grabbed Patton’s face and pulled him in for a kiss.

Fireworks exploded in his stomach as Patton kissed him back. The world disappeared until all that was left was them. Logan’s first kiss, the first kiss he had been skeptical would ever come for thirty years, made all that time worth it. He felt himself smile against the soft lips of his new love. They pulled apart, grinning at each other like fools.

“Sunshine, how do you feel about stargazing?”

525,600 minutes

Autumn

October had come to an end, and Patton was the happiest man on Earth. Autumn was his favorite season. It was the time of year for hot chocolate, warm soup, cozy blankets, and snuggles. The air cooled, breezes picking up orange leaves and scattering them along the ground. They crunched under his feet. Rain fell from gray clouds, making him feel like he needed to dance. Well, maybe his reason to dance was more than just that it was raining.

Things were going great with his new boyfriend, Logan. They had been going steady since the first time they kissed at the end of August. He had been working at Skye’s coffeeshop for about two months and was recently offered a raise for how much business he was bringing in. He wasn’t quite sure what she had meant by that, but he didn’t really mind. Skye was an amazing boss to work with, and started to become an amazing friend. Patton loved making friends. He just loved making people happy.

He had been on his way to Logan’s house when the rain started to really pour. He had forgotten to bring an umbrella with him before he left work, so he started jogging so he could get to the warm embrace of the house and Logan’s arms quicker.

He had reached the door when the downpour had started to turn into a storm. His knuckles knocked on the dark wood door to the house he had come to spend every evening at for a month. He rubbed his arms and bounced in an attempt to warm himself up. Despite the cold and wet, he couldn’t help but feel happy.

Every day he felt laughter bubbling up in his chest as he looked forward to seeing his wonderful boyfriend. All he could think about every day was the way Logan’s lips twitched when he was trying to hide a smile. How he would tip his glasses up and glance away when he felt extra smart. How he would blush whenever he caught Patton staring. He always looked forward to spending what precious moments he could with his most bestest boyfriend ever.

Logan answered the door. Patton’s smile wavered as he took in Logan’s appearance. His hair was disheveled, his glasses were missing, and all he was wearing was a robe and boxers. There were dark bags under his eyes, and his lips were curved down in a frown.

“Oh my God, what happened Logan?” Patton gasped. He had never seen Logan look this unkempt.

Logan looked confused until he seemed to process Patton’s question. “Oh, nothing Patton. What are you doing here?” The whiskey on his breath wafted into Patton’s nostrils. Oh.

Patton didn’t answer as he tried to step past Logan inside. Logan tried to resist him but he stumbled. Patton scanned his eyes across the living room and couldn’t believe what he saw. There were books strewn about as if they had been tossed around. The couch was covered in tissues. There was a whiskey bottle on it’s side resting on the coffee table. Try not to think about it, Patton.

He jumped as Logan slammed the door. “What are you doing here, Pat?” Logan sounded...angry.

Patton turned to look at Logan. His blue eyes were bloodshot and puffy, as if he had been crying. Patton walked closer but Logan backed away. “Don’t.”

Tears formed in Patton’s eyes but he wouldn’t let them fall. He needed to know what was going on, so he kept walking forward until Logan was backed against the wall. He was a little shorter than his boyfriend, but that didn’t make his stare any less intense.

“Logan, Starlight, what’s wrong?” he asked softly. He tried to ignore the sob that was threatening to escape his throat. The cold fear stabbed his heart.

Logan put his hand on Patton’s shoulder to push him away, but he was too weak. His head lolled sideways as he tried to form a response. “Nuffin’” was all that he came up with. He then slid down the wall to sit on the floor. “Standing hard.”

Patton took a deep breath in to calm himself. He knew Logan needed him, so he shoved his worries and temptations aside and sat next to Logan on the floor. Once again he asked, "What happened?"

This time Logan didn't try to push Patton out. He leaned his head onto Patton's shoulders and cried. The sounds rang in Patton's ears like a twisted version of the bells in Logan's laugh. Patton's heart beat erratically in his chest like usual, except this time for much more heartbreaking reasons.

All he could do was put his arm around his love and rub his shoulders for comfort. Logan calmed a bit in response to the touch, as if Patton touching him gave him enough clarity to speak through the burning alcohol in his blood.

"A, uh, a student of mine passed away yesterday." Logan whispered, "Suicide," he choked out.

Patton suddenly saw why Logan seemed destroyed. He was a fairly new teacher, and chose to work at the middle school. He hadn't dealt with a student death before, especially one so young.

Patton felt the ice in his heart melt away from the empathy he held for his love. He unfortunately was very familiar with the beast of suicide.

So maybe that's what gave him the right words to say, "Starlight, you can't hold yourself at fault for the death of another. You did what you could, and in the end you lost a person close to you. However that doesn't lessen the worth of your efforts. Sometimes," tears fell down Patton's face like the rain outside,"Sometimes it feels like we're being swallowed whole. That simple things like getting out of bed in the morning is the same as jogging for six miles with no water or food. No matter the love we receive, sometimes our minds are filled with so much darkness we filter it all out."

Logan looked up at Patton. Even while intoxicated he understood what Patton meant by 'we'."Are you suicidal too?"

The question hung in the air between them. Lighting flashed through the windows and thunder followed suit. The silence between them was amplified by the electricity in the air. Between them a puddle of truth that Patton had to step into in order to reach the next step in their relationship.

"Why aren't you answering me?" Logan pleaded, tears once more flowing. His voice was gravel. He clung Patton's shirt in his fists and pulled himself to sit in front of him.

Patton's eyes were wide. Hiding the pain was always better. Making others smile was the only way to keep from adding more pain in this world. Yet he saw that with each second of silence he was hurting Logan more.

He decided to try a new way of soothing another's pain. "I was, as a child. I had a lot going on. I made an attempt at one point, even. But I survived. And now I’m glad I did, because I have you.”

Neither of them could speak after that, for there were no words. The two of them instead used their bodies to speak. Patton rubbing Logan’s back in small circles said ‘I love you’. Logan nuzzling into Patton’s chest while crying said ‘it hurts too much’. Logan taking Patton’s hand to move to the couch to cuddle meant ‘thank you’. Patton petting Logan’s hair said ‘You’re welcome’.

Logan kissing Patton’s thigh before falling asleep whispered ‘I love you too’.

~~~~

“I want you to accompany me to Thanksgiving dinner with my family.” Logan blurted one cloudy afternoon.

They had decided to go for a walk in the park by the coffee shop. Patton had forgotten his umbrella again, but Logan anticipated this, and brought an extra one. They had been walking in comfortable silence, taking in the image of the trees bare of their leaves. The world looked more toned down, which in a way calmed Patton. He loved the gray tones of the clouds in the sky, he loved the pumpkin patches, he loved the leaves, he loved the smell of rain.

Most of all, he freaking loved Logan in a scarf and jacket.

“Uh, what?”

“I want you to come with me to visit my family for Thanksgiving.” Logan repeated. The blush on his cheeks seemed to be deeper than being from just wind chill.

“Oh, um…” Patton was at a loss for words. Of course he wanted to go, but past experiences had told him that meeting the family wasn’t a good idea. “I don’t know…”

Insecurity crept it’s way into Patton’s mind. His exes had always been interested in him until he interacted with their families. He always told a joke that fell flat, always got too confused, always said something wrong. Always… did something wrong. However, he was a different person now. Plus he loved Logan so much...he just wasn’t ready to lose the love of his life through his own stupidity, or possibility of stupidity.

He obviously had been too quiet, because Logan stopped walking to look at Patton, his head tilting to the side in a way that tugged at Patton’s heart strings. Logan looking inquisitively made Patton feel important. When he puzzled Logan it wasn’t because he was a ditz, it was because Logan found him fascinating. The look on his face made Patton want to double check that his fears were unfounded.

“I mean, are you sure? What if I say something embarrassing?” Patton looked down at his shoes.

Logan lifted Patton’s chin up. Cool blue eyes chilled the heat in his heart. He felt his breathing get steadier with the solidity that was Logan. With one simple touch he felt roots planting into the ground beneath them, intertwining their souls to grow together forever. No wind could shake them. No storm could knock them down. In that moment, Patton knew there was nothing that could make Logan stop loving him. He also knew that he felt the same way.

“Sunshine, nothing you could do would make me unsure of how right you are for me,” Logan confirmed.

He cupped Patton’s cheek with his hand, “Your face was made to fit within my hands, for you are my world.”

His other had wrapped around Patton’s torso, pulling him closer, “Your body was made to be against my own; for you are my support.”

He leaned his forehead against Patton’s, “Your mind is the opposite of mine. Bubbly, bright, and full of light; for you are the sun to my moon.”

Logan’s lips brushed Patton’s, and he whispered, “Your lips were meant to kiss me; for your name is my prayer to the stars.”

Logan then kissed Patton in a way that felt different than their other kisses before. He felt as if he was being pulled back into his body. He embraced his love and they twirled, lips never parting. In that moment the two of them knew what it was to find what fit in the empty space within their souls.

Being grounded within Logan helped push his insecurities, fears, and old demons to the side. Logan’s arms were where he needed to be.

~~~~

Patton felt his nerves were firing up to the point he couldn’t sit still. It was a two hour drive to Logan’s brother’s house. Logan was in the driver’s seat, which was a good thing because Patton was too excited to concentrate. He was wearing his Thursday Best. He had an off-white cardigan on with a light blue polo underneath. He rubbed the palms of his hands over his freshly ironed khakis. It was the only thing he could do to stave off the need to bounce his leg.

“Hey, Starlight?”

“Yes, Sunshine?” Logan’s voice was deeper than normal. When he was concentrating on something else his voice dropped, and it sent butterflies flying in Patton’s stomach every time.

“Does your family know I’m coming with you?” Patton didn’t want to intrude

“They know I am bringing a plus one, yes.” Logan’s response was curt.

“A plus one?” Why did that leave a sick feeling in Patton’s stomach?

Logan sighed, his hands gripping the steering wheel tighter. “I...I never dated anyone before you.”

Patton was stunned. He was Logan’s first boyfriend, first partner...ever? He knew Logan didn’t have much experience with relationships...but he didn’t know ‘not much’ meant ‘none at all’. “Why not?” he couldn’t help but ask. Underneath his question was ‘why me, then?’

Logan took a minute to form a response. The downward curve of his mouth told Patton that his boyfriend was at a loss for words. He waited patiently for the response, choosing to look out the window at the rain falling around them in the daylight.

“I never found anyone who I saw as compatible enough to risk a relationship. I didn’t want to start something that was doomed to fail.” Logan blushed, “I guess you are the one for me, I never questioned my attraction to you. I never had to list the pros and cons of starting a courtship.”

“Awww...Starlight,” Patton cooed, “I love you too. Thank you for taking the risk, because if you hadn’t I don’t think I’d be here.” There was some truth to his statement, they were getting into the time of year when he started feeling…wrong.

“Well, obviously, it’s my car.”

Patton laughed, “Dad joke!”

Logan groaned, “You know I didn’t do it on purpose.”

They both chatted and sat in silence on and off until they pulled up to the house. Anxiety crawled up the back of Patton’s neck like a spider. He shivered. When Logan opened the door for him he didn’t move to get out.

“What’s wrong, my love?” Logan asked, concerned.

“I’m a bit..scared…” Patton admitted with a whisper.

“You’re going to be okay, I promise.” Logan reached his hand out. Patton had no choice but to climb out of the car to grab the steadying hand of his lover.

They walked hand in hand up the path to the house. The sun was starting to set, which set orange and pink hues splattered on the yellow house. If the family inside were as inviting as the outside of their home, Patton would have no problem fitting in.

Logan knocked on the door. His expression was his usual neutral stare. Patton felt Logan grip his hand tighter as the door was opened by a man who looked like Logan, but younger.

The man smiled and pulled Logan into a hug, which Logan stiffened in. “Good to see you, brother! Hey, who’s the friend?”

“Patton, this is my brother Thomas. Thomas this is my-” Logan paused, they hadn’t exactly had a chance to discuss how he’d be introduced. Evidently Logan decided for Patton and boldly proclaimed, “My boyfriend.”

Thomas’ eyebrows raised. “Well, that explains, um, a lot.” He then turned to Patton to shake hands with a bright smile, “It’s nice to have you over, Patton. Welcome, and come on in.”

They entered the house and the inside was even more inviting than the outside. The living room they had walked into had two couches. There was a fireplace in one corner, and in the other corner next to it was an entertainment center. The room’s walls were decorated in family photos, and some awards.

Patton was in awe, it was very different from his family’s home when he was growing up. The lighting was soft, warm and welcome. He loosened his grip on Logan’s hand just a bit. He felt more relaxed.

Not acknowledging the other people in the room, his eyes zoned in to the creature on the floor.

“Cat!” he loudly whispered to Logan.

Logan didn’t have time to form a response because conversations in the room ceased to look at them. Patton noticed that Logan was very uncomfortable, but he couldn’t figure out why. They all seemed like nice people.

An older woman came up to them, her smile was so bright. Patton couldn’t help but smile in return.

She reached out to shake hands. “I’m Matilda, Logan’s mom. Thank you for joining us.” Her voice reminded Patton of warm chocolate chip cookies. Her eyes were blue like Logan’s but more lively, full of stories and experiences only an older person would have.

He shook her hand back, “Nice to meet you, I’m Patton.”

There were a few more members of the family to meet. They formed a bit of a line to make introductions easier. There was Thomas, who owned the home. Matilda, Logan’s mom. One of Logan’s cousins, Jeff, and his teenage son, Virgil. Virgil didn’t introduce himself per se, he just looked up from his phone when he heard his name and waved halfheartedly. Patton didn’t take much offense, he remembered being a teenager once.

Once he had greeted everyone, he kept his eyes on the small cat perched on the windowsill. It was a lovely little long haired calico. Patton loved calicoes. He so badly wanted to go over and pet it, but he hadn’t thought to bring his allergy medication. He was so focused on the cat that he didn’t hear Logan say his name.

“Sunshine, Patton, Patton!”

“Oh, sorry Logan. What were you saying?” he asked, blushing a bit.

“We’re going to the dining room to eat dinner. Are you going to join us or continue staring at the cat?” Logan asked, seeming a bit annoyed.

Patton tried not to notice the edge in Logan’s voice, instead he chose to smile and put his hands on his hips. “I haven’t been introduced to the cat yet, Logan. It’s rude to go eat if I haven’t even met all the residents of the home.”

Logan rolled his eyes, “Sunshine, you’re allergic.” Patton took his hands up to his face to try to give his boyfriend the puppy eyes. He knew Logan couldn’t resist his pleading face for long.

Finally Logan gave in, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Her name is Surefoot.”

Patton turned back to the cat and cooed. “Awe, Surefoot, what a pleasure to meet you. Unfortunately I have to go eat, but it was mice to meet you meow.”

He giggled as Logan groaned. “Can we go eat now?”

Patton nodded and went to join the rest of the family. The dinner was amazing. He got along great with Logan’s family. They were so fun to hang out with. Thomas didn’t bat an eye when Patton denied a glass of wine. Matilda laughed with him over some embarrassing stories of Logan as a child. Even Virgil chimed in a few times.

After Logan had some food, his mood seemed to get a bit better. He also seemed relieved at his family’s easy acceptance of Patton. The two kept making side glances at each other. Thank you, Logan’s eyes seemed to say.

Patton’s kiss on his cheek was his way of saying you’re welcome.

525,600 Minutes

Winter

Logan hated winter.

He hated the snow, he hated driving in the snow, he hated the sun reflecting into his eyes from the snow. He hated the kids shouting around him when he went to work during a snowball fight. He hated when school got canceled last minute because of the snow.

This year was a bit different. Maybe there was one good thing about winter…

Patton wearing a Christmas sweater was adorable as hell.

School had been canceled, so he had decided to sleep in. He wasn’t expecting Patton to be over that day, at least not in the morning. So he was surprised when he had gotten to the bottom of the stairs to see his boyfriend in the kitchen. He smelled bacon, and heard sizzling that suggested pancakes were being made. Christmas music was being played softly from Patton’s phone. Patton was bouncing and doing a little dance while he stood at the stove, back turned to Logan.

Logan saw that Patton was wearing a light blue and white sweater, with cats and dogs on the back. Logan couldn’t help but burst with happiness. He strode to come up behind Patton and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. Patton startled a bit but quickly relaxed against Logan. Logan peeked and saw that pancakes were being made. His stomach grumbled a bit, so he kissed Patton’s cheek and went to grab a piece of bacon.

“This is a nice surprise, Sunshine.” he commented.

Patton shrugged. “Well, I couldn’t sleep well, so I thought I’d bring some groceries over and make you breakfast. Especially since school was canceled.” Logan noticed Patton’s smile was bright but a bit..off.

“Why couldn’t you sleep?” Logan asked, paying extra attention to Patton’s face.

Patton stared down as he flipped the pancakes over. “No reason to be concerned, Starlight. Just couldn’t sleep is all.”

Logan had grown to notice Patton very well. He spent so much time looking at his love’s face. He had memorized every inch of Patton that he could. He knew how his curly hair puffed after waking up, he knew how his freckles nearly disappeared when he blushed, he knew all of Patton’s different smiles.

So obviously he knew when Patton was faking it.

There was a bit of silence between them. Patton put the pancakes on a plate, reached behind Logan for some bacon, and avoided Logan’s stare. He set the food down at the kitchen table and sat down. Smiling up at Logan he asked, “You gonna join me, Starlight?”

Logan frowned as he sat down. He normally enjoyed Patton’s cooking but he felt everything was..off. Odd. He didn’t want to push Patton, but he couldn’t keep his curiosity in for long.

They both ate in silence until Logan had had enough. “Okay, Patton, what’s wrong?”

Patton looked startled. “N-nothing, I just-”

“You couldn’t sleep, I know. But I also know that you like to avoid talking about your negative feelings. Please let’s just avoid the tooth pulling and just tell me.” Logan didn’t mean to sound mad. He was just frustrated.

Patton was flushed with embarrassment and looked down. “I-I just..” he closed his eyes, and Logan noticed a teardrop from Patton’s face, “I just was feeling really down last night. It was pretty bad, that happens a lot in the winter. I start feeling...bad, for some reason. Wrong.” he pushed his plate away and laid his head in his arms, sobbing, “I’m wrong!”

Logan felt his heart starting to splinter. He hadn’t meant to ruin the mood. He didn’t mean to push, and he certainly hated the idea of being the reason the love of his life was crying.

Logan gently stood up and knelt beside Patton. He didn’t ever imagine what he would do if his love had fallen apart. He laid his hand on Patton’s back and felt the wracking sobs vibrate within his own bones. His heart rate increased the the growing sorrow he felt for hurting the one person he needed. With each sob from Patton he felt his head spin even more.

“C’mon love, let’s move to the couch for a bit, yeah?” he pleaded. He needed to hold Patton in his arms and take all the burdens of the world away. He needed to hold his love steady enough in order to hold himself together.

Patton nodded and stood up with Logan’s help. Immediately, before Logan could see his face, he was embraced by Patton. The arms around his torso tortured him with their shaking. He held back his own tears and fears as he guided Patton to the sofa in the living room. Patton leaned his head on Logan’s lap and nuzzled. Logan would have found the action adorable if it weren’t for the fact that the reason why was still a mystery.

He didn’t exactly know what to do, so he followed his instincts. He started stroking Patton’s hair. He curled the locks around his fingers, loving the feel of soft chocolate smoothly running through his digits. He gazed down Patton’s body curled up on the couch. Even in the man’s sorrow, he still looked like the human representation of a precious cinnamon roll.

Logan wasn’t much of a singer, however he knew that Patton loved his voice so he started to hum softly,

“Don’t try to make me stay

Or ask if I’m okay

I don’t have the answer,”

Patton stopped shaking. Logan kept going, noticing his partner winding down.

“Don’t make me stay the night

Or ask if I’m alright

I don’t have the answer”

He felt Patton take a deep breath in, no longer sobbing. He noticed his sweatpants were a bit wet from his love’s tears. He didn’t care.

“Heartache doesn’t last forever

I’ll say I’m fine

Midnight ain’t the time for laughin’

When you say goodbye”

Patton turned to look up and Logan, his eyes red from crying. The normal bright stars looked burnt out. In the back of his mind, he noticed that they had left Patton’s glasses on the kitchen table.

“It makes your lips so kissable

And your kiss so missable

Your fingertips so touchable

And your eyes irresistible”

Logan’s heart burst open with light at the sight of Patton’s small smile. “Sorry, Starlight. I didn’t mean to ruin breakfast for you.”

Logan gently motioned for Patton to sit up. Once he had obliged, Logan took the soft hands of the person who had become his world from the moment they’d first met. He looked into the eyes that had held so much sunlight in the days prior. He shoved the questions he had about that to the side as he spoke, “Sunshine, you could never ever ruin anything for me.”

He reached out to cup Patton’s chin. “You are my Sunshine for a reason. You shed so much light in every room you walk into. You are so much stronger than me, you have an understanding of others that I will never have. You…” Logan couldn’t find the words to express how much Patton meant to him, so he thought he’d try a different way to use his lips to express his love.

He held Patton’s cheek and kissed. He tasted the salt and snot from Patton’s crying but he didn’t care. To him it was the way Patton tasted when he fell apart, and he loved every part of this man. He loved his smiles, his laughter, his jokes, his obsession with cats, he loved the light side. He also discovered that morning that he loved the dark side. He loved the tears, the sobs, the shaking, the shallow breathing. Even though the cries pierced his heart, even though he wanted to fall to his knees as freely as Patton’s tears, he still loved. Through the pain and cries, and snot and tears his love for Patton pushed him through his discomforts of emotions.

Patton groaned against his lips, the sound more guttural than he had been used to before. The next thing Logan knew, his lap was full of Patton. He was being straddled by a man in a sweater with animals on it. He was a bit shocked at Patton’s bravado. Normally they didn’t engage in such heated endeavors. They hadn’t gone very far...physically… in their relationship. Logan was never ready, and Patton was so patient.

This time, though, he felt ready. He felt a primal need build up inside of him. His hands slid under Patton’s sweater to feel the hot skin of Patton’s back. He whimpered when Patton moved his lips away from their kiss, then gasped in shock when Patton started to kiss along his neck. He gripped Patton’s hips as teeth nicked against his collarbone.

His head was swimming in desire for the man on top of him. He wanted to take him. He wanted to feel...that feeling. He wanted to take in his love’s touch. He wanted to touch all over Patton’s body and be touched in return. He wanted to feel the fire from the beginning of their courtship. He wanted to be doused in the flames of those chocolate eyes raking over his body. He wanted to melt against the body of the brightest thing he had ever seen. He wanted to go all the way so bad, but he couldn’t.

He listened to the voice of reason in his ear pointing out the possibility that Patton was trying to avoid the mess of the fit. He willed his fingers to pull away from Patton’s skin. He used all of his strength to gently push Patton away from his neck.

“Starlight, please,” Patton whined. Logan almost felt himself give in.

“No.” Logan denied. He noticed his voice was deeper than usual.

“Why not? I thought- I thought you wanted-” Patton’s eyes started to fill with rejection.

“I do!” Logan said quickly, not wanting to give the wrong impression, “I want it so bad. But not like this. Not under these circumstances.” He reached out to touch his love’s cheek, but was denied by Patton standing up.

“What, like you haven’t before?” Patton refused to look at him. Logan just sat on the couch stunned.

He needed Patton to look at him. “Sunshine, please, listen to me, come sit back down.”

Patton huffed, then sat back down, wrapping his arms around his knees. “Why not?”

Logan sighed, he hadn’t told Patton explicitly that he was a virgin. He had only mentioned that he hadn’t dated before. “I...I know you could tell that I don’t have much experience with intimacy. I know I’ve told you that there have been no others, but I meant it in all of the ways.”

An “Oh.” fell from Patton’s lips. “I’m sorry.”

 Logan smiled. “It’s okay. I still want to, and I know I’m ready, but I need to know first…” Patton looked away, “What happened?”

His love sighed, “I...I told you a while ago that I had been suicidal as a kid, after your student passed away.” Logan flinched at the memory. He wasn’t proud of the way he responded to the death, and he didn’t exactly want the reminder of the empty desk at the back of his classroom. However he let Patton continue.

“I have seasonal depression. In the winter I can get a bit… down,” Logan nodded, understanding what Patton was saying, “Normally I have been able to handle it. For about two years I’ve been managing...but this winter is especially hard for some reason.”

Logan scooted closer to put his hand on Patton’s knee, encouraging him to continue, “I guess I really missed you last night, you know?” Oh, how Logan did know, “But I didn’t want to disturb your sleep last night. So I just pushed through it. I tried to stuff it down. I felt icky and gross, kinda like I do now.”

Logan smiled softly and said, “You’re still glorious to me.”

Patton smiled and let out a laugh, “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

The conversation would have continued, if it weren’t for both of their stomachs growling for breakfast. They both laughed.

“Let’s try to have second breakfast, yeah?” Patton asked while standing up.

All Logan did was gaze after the retreating form of his partner, admiring the animals on his cute sweater.

~~~~

It was December 24th. Logan and Patton had decided to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning together. Patton was acting so bouncy it was nearly intoxicating. Logan wasn’t one to celebrate Christmas much, outside of going to his brother’s house for a family dinner. He never decorated outside of a small tree in the front window to give a feeling of participation with his neighbors for the holiday.

So it was a bit of a shock to come home to his living room resembling Santa’s workshop.

He had walked into the sight of garland strung along the staircase. There were figurines of angels, elves, santa claus, reindeer, and on the center of the coffee table was a small nativity scene.

The biggest shock of all was the tree in the window.

Patton was humming along to the music he had put on, and was stringing the lights along the bottom of the real, giant green tree. Patton was too distracted to notice that Logan had come in, which was a blessing because it meant that Logan could watch Patton shimmy around the tree, being his adorable self.

Patton swayed his hips while he sang. Once the lights were set, he reached into the box behind him and pulled out more garland. He had a smile on his face, and the soft glow on his face from the colored lights made it all the more miraculous.

He noticed the song Patton was singing along was a bit...well, it was certainly outdated.

“I really can’t stay,” Patton sang

“But baby it’s cold outside”, the singer on the music player responded.

Logan smirked as he quietly snuck up behind his love.

“I’ve got to go away,” Patton continued, oblivious to Logan’s presence behind him.

“But baby it’s cold outside,” Logan crooned deeply while wrapping his arms around Patton.

Patton yelped, and would have jumped if it hadn’t been for Logan’s strong grip around his waist. “Oh, Starlight, you scared me,” he let out a relieved giggle.

Logan rested his chin on Patton’s shoulder, giving a kiss onto the man’s neck. Patton must have been baking, cause he smelled like gingerbread. He was wearing the blue sweater again, the material soft on Logan’s face. Logan couldn’t help but run his nose up and down the smooth flesh. He left kisses wherever he could. Patton doing this grand gesture for him only reinforced his need.

He had a craving for every bit of light Patton exude. Patton’s laughter was his drug, he was in bliss at the sight of that crooked smile. The freckles were constellations in shapes Logan could never imagine to exist. The stars had disconnected from him that summer evening because they knew their time was up. Their beauty was no match for the man now squirming in his grip.

“I’m going to pull you away from your decorating for a bit, is that satisfactory?” Logan whispered. He took the pleased whimper in response as a yes.

He turned Patton around and gave the most passionate kiss he could muster. He was ready. He was ready and the lights were perfect. The love was in the air, so thick he was drowning. They nearly knocked some of the decoration boxes down trying to make it up the stairs. Logan didn’t know where his new bravado was coming from. It was as if he were under a spell. The fire was back in his veins, roaring louder and hotter than he could bear.

The cold outside was no match for the heat in his cheeks as he pulled Patton onto his bed with him. They had both slept next to each other before. He knew that this time was different. This was more. This was further than he had ever thought he would go in his life.

Before Patton, he was content. Before Patton, he was fine without having a companionship outside of friendship. Before Patton, he could breathe on his own. Before Patton, he had only the bare minimum to get through life. Before Patton, he only needed the stars in his eyes in order to stave off loneliness. Before Patton, he was incomplete.

With Patton, he knew what it was like to step into the sunlight. With Patton, he was never alone. With Patton, he had warmth in his bed for the winter. With Patton, even his home reflected the utter joy he felt every second he spent thinking about his love. With Patton, he didn’t need the stars. With Patton, he wasn’t alone. With Patton, he was in love.

They spent that night blending their bodies into each other. Logan had no idea how he had got on without those feelings in the past. With each new touch he put on Patton, he forgot his before. Patton kissed all the cold away from every inch of his skin. They both knew what warmth in the winter felt like, and Logan never wanted to leave his love’s side ever again. They had reached a level of pure intimacy that he knew would destroy his soul if it disappeared.

After he reached the highest of heights, Patton pulled him back down to earth to lay on his shoulder. They stayed in bed for a while, tracing their fingers over each other’s bodies. He gazed at the sweaty brown curls resting on his chest. They laid in peaceful quiet, taking in the first breaths of fresh air since their first kiss.

“I never finished decorating the tree, Starlight, and tomorrow’s Christmas.” Patton whispered, looking up at Logan.

Logan couldn’t help but grin at the concern on his, now lover’s face. “Well, there’s always next year to have the chance to finish.”

Patton sighed with a dreamy smile, sitting up to peck a kiss on Logan’s nose. “Well, then I’m going to head to the shower to get cleaned up, wanna join me?”

Logan shook his head, “I need some water before I can even consider leaving the bed.”

Patton brought him a glass of water, then walked to the door before looking over his shoulder to get one last glance at Logan, “Merry Christmas, Starlight.”

“Merry Christmas Sunshine.”

~~~~

Logan never understood the meaning behind the phrase ‘time flies when you’re having fun’. Frankly, he never was able to imagine how time would feel differently passing depending on the activities. Did time move slower for others when they were sad? Did the seconds on the clock tick at a greater speed than he was able to hear? Had everyone been privy to a secret of the way time worked that he was being kept in the dark of? Evidently, yes, because he was surprised that the New Year was just one day away.

Patton had made the plans for the holiday, but was keeping them a secret. It was a miracle he was able to hold it in, because he was so excited every time Logan brought it up. As New Year’s Eve drew closer, it was like Patton was literally vibrating constantly. Though it was endearing the first few days, eventually it was pushing a button on Logan that he didn’t understand. Perhaps it was because he did not like being kept in the dark.

“Hey, Starlight! You ready for tomorrow night?” Patton called as he walked into the door of Logan’s house.

“I don’t know how I could be ready, since I don’t know what our plans are.” Logan snarked.

Patton laughed. “Well, someone is a grumpy gus. Don’t worry, I know you’ll love it.”

Logan just rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone, hoping for a distraction from his heightened annoyance. He didn’t want to hurt Patton’s feelings, he genuinely wanted to be excited, but surprises were hard for him to come to grips with. His family had stopped bothering to surprise him with birthday parties by the time he was five because he would always figure it out.

So why couldn’t he think of a possible way Patton would surprise him?

His boyfriend was such a wild card, he noticed with the seasonal depression being intense it meant that Patton was even more...emotional. Not that he minded, it was just a bit too much for him sometimes. He felt so guilty. He knew it wasn’t Patton’s fault, and truth be told he noticed the vitamin D supplements he gave to his love for Christmas were starting to make a difference.

Patton sat next to him, a dreamy smile on his face. “All I could think about at work was your handsome face.”

Logan huffed, “I hope it didn’t hinder your work.”

“No, it didn’t…” Patton trailed off, “Is something bothering you, Logan?”

Logan put his phone on the coffee table and sighed to himself. It was probably a good idea to get his feelings off of his chest in case it interfered with his reaction to the surprise in store for him. He leaned back to look at Patton, who seemed really nervous. That made it more difficult to form the words he needed.

“I love you, you know this, right?” Patton nodded. “I have been feeling...more irritable lately.”

“Why?” Patton’s eyes were watery already.

“Nothing you’ve done, per se. I just don’t really like surprises, so when you’re reminding me of it constantly it’s been a bit, well, grating on my patience.” He eyed Patton warily, waiting for an emotional response.

Instead, Patton just deflated. “I’m sorry,” he put his face in his hands, “I just wanted to give you a good New Year’s, but the plans weren’t set in stone, and so it was a surprise so I didn’t get your hopes up. I only just got confirmation today...and, and, and,” Patton curled up in a ball, still hiding his face. Though Logan didn’t need to see his lover’s face in order to tell he had started crying.

He took a deep breath, trying to ignore the urge to roll his eyes. He gently laid a hand on Patton’s knee. He reminded himself that winter would be almost over, this season would pass, and he shouldn't be so selfish to ignore his lover’s mental health problems.

“Sunshine, I’m sorry,” he truly was, “I guess I was wrong to assume you were trying to annoy me.”

“Annoy you?!” Patton’s head jerked up, heartbreak starting to form in his eyes.

“No! No, that's not what I-” Logan tried to say.

Patton stood up quickly, backing away. Betrayal took over his face like the dark shadow of an eclipse. Immediately Logan felt colder. Freezing. He knew what was happening. He was going to be put in the dark if he made one wrong move.

This moment came in every couple’s life. The highs crash into a low. The clear skies were replaced with stormy pain. It was the first test to see if they would make it.

“Patton, Sunshine, please sit down, I’m sorry,” he pleaded.

Patton smiled, but it was empty. He shook his head, dismissing Logan’s apology. “I should have known. I should have known you were no different from the others.”

Logan stood up. “Please don’t say that,” he whispered, “please don’t.”

His lover wiped the tears off of his face. “I’m sorry. I guess I thought I was better with you. I guess I thought I could be different with you. I guess I thought,” he tried to close his eyes to stop the tears, “I guess I thought I’d get to do what I wanted tomorrow night.”

Patton made his way to the door. Logan moved as quickly as he could. His tears fogged up his glasses but he didn’t care. He caught Patton’s sleeve and he got down on his knees. I can’t lose him, he thought to himself.

“I can’t lose you Sunshine. Please don’t leave. Please, I’m sorry I used the wrong word. I promise you weren’t-” he let the tears fall, exposing his heart, “I love you.”

Patton looked down at him. The fire in his eyes that Logan was used to was burning him, and for once it was painful. It wasn’t the comforting warmth he was used to, it wasn’t the fiery passion he needed. It was painful. His skin was burning and it was at the hands of Patton.

He leaned his forehead against his lover’s hand. “Please. I’m sorry. Please. I’m sorry.” he repeated over and over, a prayer for mercy.

Patton opened the door, took his hand from Logan, and pulled something out of his jacket pocket. “I’m going to go for a walk. Here’s your stupid... annoying, surprise.” he tossed a small box into Logan’s hands and slammed the door.

The small item burned a hole through his hands. He stayed there, on his knees, waiting for Patton to return like the loyal dog he was. He couldn’t believe what he’d done. One slip up, one misspoken word, one poorly timed comment- and his heart was shattered.

Tears were flowing freely from his face. This was the pain he had tried to avoid for thirty years. For years, he avoided attraction and courtship, in fear of what he was feeling. Kneeling at the door, waiting for Patton’s return.

He looked down at the box. It was a small black box wrapped in dark blue ribbon. He undid the ribbon, lifted the lid, and put a hand to his mouth to keep himself from screaming.

Inside the container was another box, obviously from a jeweler. Logan knew it’s contents before he opened it. He still needed to know. He needed Patton’s love and this was the closest he could get. Holding his breath in, he lifted the lid of the jewelers box. Inside was the most beautiful ring he had ever seen. Three deep blue sapphires set against a sterling silver band.

All thoughts of how early it was in their relationship never came. Just barely over four months seemed perfect to him in that moment. This ring gave him hope-hope that Patton would return to him to hear his answer. He lifted it out of the box with shaky, pale fingers. There was an inscription.

My Starlight

Logan tried to put the ring on his ring finger, it was a bit too loose, of course, Patton didn’t know his ring size. So he put it on his middle finger. It fit just fine. So close, but so so far.

He moved himself to the couch, still staring at the ring. He whispered a prayer to any of the stars above that Patton would return.

The stars must have burnt out in the night, because he never did. That night, or the next. So with new heartbreak came a new year.

525,600 Minutes

Spring

Springtime was usually a sign to Patton that the dark days were over. The sun making its way out of the storm clouds was the message to him that he survived. Every flower bud told him he made it past the winter. This year, however, he didn’t respond. The season coming in was a lie.

It was just another early spring sunrise peeking into his window. It was February 7th. One more week until Valentine’s day. If he had just not been so quick to overreact, he’d be where he belonged. Waking up to the bare bit of sun with the only person who would enjoy it enough. Instead, he woke up in his apartment. His dark, messy, lonely apartment.

Like he had done every morning since the mistake, he went to his fridge to search for a beer. He had been sober for two years when he had met...him. He had finally gotten a job that he was good enough at to stick with. He had finally had all the pieces of the puzzle complete. Perhaps he jinxed himself by trying to rush into the next step of his life. Maybe by buying the ring so soon, he had set in stone the doom he knew would come.

That’s why he walked out. He knew he had already corrupted the only good thing in his life. He was so disgusted with himself. So...icky. He felt wrong. That day he cemented that fact with slipping up. Without Logan, without his steady presence, he kept slipping further down the rabbit hole.

Work had stopped calling him to come in, and after two weeks he got an email saying that he had been terminated, and to come in to collect his last paycheck. He never did. Let Skye keep her money.

However, he was disappointed when he was confronted with an empty fridge. He used the last little bit of his savings to cover rent. He felt anxiety grip his chest. He knew he needed to go pick up that check after all.

He didn’t bother changing into suitable clothes. His clothes were all dirty anyways. He just put his cardigan on over his pajamas. Grabbing his wallet and phone, he left.

The light outside was too bright. The false reminder that hope was right around the corner. He put his hand up to block the sun. To block the truth. To block the facts that he was screwing up royally.

He always walked as much as he could. He did have a car, he just chose to walk whenever he could. When he was in the rehab program a year ago, they had told him walking was a good way to distract from the troubles that tempted him to drink. What an irony that he was now using that to go get what he needed to keep going down the rabbit hole. He wondered to himself if he ever did tell Logan that he was an alcoholic. Probably not. He had been too open already, and he didn’t need Logan to pretend to worry about him more.

He frowned as he came up to the coffee shop. There was a reason he avoided the place. It was a harsh reminder to what once was. What was a building full of new opportunities became a building of false hope. He planned to go in as quick as possible then leave as soon as the money was in his hands.

The bell rang above his head as he entered. He remembered the way it rang when Logan had walked through the door. Now, the ring was a shout ringing in his head about how wrong he was.

He walked up to the counter to see Skye, the owner herself, running the counter. Worry filled her eyes as she took in Patton’s appearance. “Wow, Patton, are you okay?” she asked, concern lacing her voice like a thick fog.

He smiled, feeling more hollow, “Yeah, just a lazy day. I’m here for the check.”

She didn’t seem convinced, and he couldn’t blame her. “Yeah, I’ll get it in about fifteen minutes when it’s my turn for break. Why don’t you sit down and wait?”

Patton just shrugged and sat at the table in the corner by the window. Their table. He was a masochist. Maybe the promise of this spring was the promise to remind him of his failures. Failure to stay sober. Failure to to dress himself properly. Failure to keep a job. Failure to keep-

Almost as if the universe were out to punish him further, the bell above the door rang. He saw the slicked back black hair and quickly turned his back to the counter. Please, please don’t see me like this.

He heard the usual order come from Logan. He almost felt the twitch in his fingers to put the order in the register.

He barely heard Skye say something else to Logan. Hoping to himself that she wasn’t pointing him out. He knew this was not going to be the case. Skye cared about them both. She wanted to make sure her friends were okay.

He didn’t want Logan to see him like this. Broken, small, a failure. He curled up in the booth, painfully aware that he and Logan were the only ‘customers’. He knew the moment Logan saw him because he could feel that familiar warmth of his gaze on his shoulder. He closed his eyes. He didn’t need to cry. It was over. He didn’t need to cry. It was over. That’s why he needed to cry, though. It was over.

“Hello, Patton.” Logan greeted.

Patton turned to see Logan standing above him. Logan looked very put together. He looked normal. His clothes were neat, his hair was tidy, and he was carrying his iced coffee like when they first met. It was like being taken back to the past. However, it was a dulled reflection. Logan’s blue eyes weren’t lit up with curiosity, they were iced over. His mouth wasn’t twitching up into a smile, his face was extremely neutral. While Patton’s appearance screamed and outed his heartbreak, Logan’s heartbreak was just a whisper.

“Hi.” It took everything in his power to not call him Starlight.

Logan gestured to the booth, silently questioning if he would sit. Patton just nodded.

Logan sat across from him, a sigh escaped from their lips both. Patton had already started to feel Logan’s grounding presence. For the first time in over a month, he felt hope. Was this the promise of spring?

“I’d ask how you are doing, but I can tell by the silence between us after you left, and your appearance, you are not doing well.” Logan remarked with no tact.

Patton looked out the window. There were couples walking by, children walking with parents. Every single one had a smile on their face, glancing up at the sky. Patton saw that spring had blessed them with kept promises.

“I’m not. I’m not okay one bit,” Patton started, “I don’t have any excuse, or reason, and frankly I’m still a bit drunk from last night so I’m not sober enough to talk about this.” He cringed at that last remark. Logan didn’t know. They had so little time he never told. He didn’t have enough time to tell him everything.

He risked a glance to see Logan nodding with pursed lips. There was a moment of intense silence before Logan started to talk, “I don’t blame you, you know. I don’t hate you, either, and looking at you now after the month that’s passed just shows me that you hold as much pain as I do.”

Patton closed his eyes, “You clearly don’t seem to be in as much pain as me.”

Logan slammed his fist on the table, causing Patton to jump. “Bullshit, Patton.” Patton took in a breath. The ice cold exterior had broken and Logan was spilling over his raging river of anger. “Do you know how long I waited by the door? Do you know how long I stayed home, waiting for you? Do you know how often I called? I may not hate or blame you, because with all this pain I still love you, but I sure as hell am pissed.” Logan’s stare was more intoxicating than anything Patton had consumed.

“I know,” Patton said simply. “Where’s the ring?” he asked, looking at Logan’s bare hands. He hadn’t held any expectations, but it still hurt to see the reminder of what he threw away.

Logan loosened his tie and pulled out a chain, and on it the ring. “It didn’t fit, and I wanted to wait to resize it until you came back.”

He could no longer hold back his tears. Seeing that Logan still held onto hope while Patton threw all of his away showed him just how far he had strayed. He wished so badly he was redeemable enough to go back to the way it was before. He felt so wrong. He leaned his head in his hands. The fog cleared his mind with every sob that escaped from him. He saw the mess he had created. He saw his overreaction to everything. He saw that Logan still carried hope, possibly for them both.

He noticed when Logan had reached over and started to stroke his hair. The way his curls fit around Logan’s fingers made him feel homesick. He used one of his hands to reach across the table, and with no hesitance Logan grasped him. “I’m so sorry, Logan.” he got out.

“I forgive you, Sunshine.” Logan said gruffly. Patton looked up to see Logan was also crying, just more quietly than him. “Please tell me what happened? Please tell me where you went? Just tell me why you never came back.”

The pleas actually reached Patton’s heart. The storm clouds had parted in his mind. He calmed himself down and sat up.

Before he could start to explain, Skye came up to them with an envelope in her hands. She just set it on the table and patted Patton’s shoulder. Her green eyes were filled with pity, and he noticed her go to the door and switch the sign to ‘CLOSED’. He was silently grateful for the privacy she was giving them. He didn’t deserve her kindness after the way he treated the job she had given him.

“Okay,” he breathed out, “Okay.”

Logan sat there, waiting for a response. “I guess,” he started, “I guess I was afraid. I was afraid that I had messed it all up. I didn’t want to give you that ring in the way I did. I was afraid, so I slipped up when I left. I went to the bar,” he closed his eyes in shame, “I went to the bar after two years of being sober. Then when I woke up the next day, not knowing where I was, just in some abandoned house...I hadn’t been that low in years.

I didn’t want to face you after that. We hadn’t even talked much about who I was before you. I couldn’t tell you like that. I couldn’t show you my dark side like...that. So I didn’t. I didn’t, then I just stopped trying to get through it all. I stopped caring,” he choked, “I stopped caring about the progress I threw away. So I threw the hope I held for our future away too.”

He stopped when Logan grasped both of his hands. Logan’s eyes weren’t full of judgment, or pity, or even anger. He still looked so in love it hurt Patton even more. He wanted Logan to be angry with him. “Why aren’t you angry with me yet?”

“Why should I be?” Logan asked, “Why should I punish you more than you’ve already punished yourself?”

Patton shrugged, not knowing how to respond to that logic. He sighed. He didn’t know what to do, he never thought he’d be this close to Logan ever again.

Logan started rubbing his thumbs over Patton’s hands. “Come home with me, Sunshine. I can’t- I can’t bear to see you like this. Please.” It wasn’t a question. It was near a demand.

Patton smiled softly at the man in front of him. He was nowhere near okay, but the promise of spring was that they will both be there someday.

He agreed, “Okay, Starlight.”

Logan hung his head in relief. “It’s so good to hear you say that, Patton.”

~~~~

Patton woke up shaking. He hadn’t been able to stop shaking for three days. He did not miss the withdrawal. He was shaky, he was anxious, and he had been vomiting non stop. His body ached, and he was on day 6 of being sober.

Logan had to go back to work after the first two days since Patton had come back to his house. He left the school’s number on the coffee table, bathroom mirror, fridge, and bedroom door. Reminders that he wasn’t alone. He didn’t want to be an annoyance again, but Logan insisted that he wasn’t. There was a strain in his voice whenever he reminded Patton of this.

Patton tried to stand to head to the bathroom, but he wobbled. Dizziness came in waves along with the headache. He rubbed his cheek to get some feeling in his face. He felt numb. He kept going in between numbness, and extreme emotions. He felt like he was going crazy. He stumbled toward the black curtains. He peeked outside to see it was raining. He sighed, the weather was matching his mood.

He grabbed some of his clothes from the floor. Getting dressed sent pins and needles up his legs. He felt so miserable, and without Logan there, he felt cold. Taking baby steps hurt. It was definitely a fitting punishment for him.

He made it downstairs with no problem. He wanted to check the kitchen for food since he was hungry, but he knew it was pointless. He saw the spot on the kitchen floor where he had thrown up the chicken noodle soup Logan had made for him the night before. There was no indication of his sickness, Logan had been cleaning up for him with infinite patience. Patton felt a pang of guilt as he walked into the living room.

He sat on the couch, reaching for the now clean puke bowl Logan assigned to him. On the coffee table next to the sticky note of the phone number, was another note.

Please don’t hesitate to call me if you need. Also, if you can, please consider what you would like to do for Valentine’s Day tomorrow.

Patton started to tear up. Just last week he hadn’t thought he’d be spending Valentine’s day with his boyfriend. He thought he’d be back at the bar, probably hooking up with someone else to curb the loneliness he had felt. Instead, he was shivering, drowsy, and anxious. He was back at the beginning of recovery. This time, though, it was different.

Spring had brought him the promise that he didn’t need to be alone anymore. The rain outside was a healing one, washing away the wounds of his past to strengthen the budding future between him and Logan. He thought about what he wanted to do tomorrow. He didn’t want to go out, while so far that morning he was a bit stronger, he wasn’t strong enough to handle an outing. He thought about maybe staying in and watching a movie. It was boring, but he hoped Logan didn’t mind.

Logan, who didn’t deserve any of what Patton had given him since the new year. Logan, who had become so soft, so much more sensitive because of Patton. Logan, who he heard crying in bed when he thought Patton was asleep. Logan, who looked at Patton like he was a dream. Logan, who left sticky notes and was willing to be bothered at work than have Patton leave again.

It was too much, Patton thought to himself. Too much to think of by himself. He hadn’t been able to thank Logan properly, or talk properly, since the withdrawal had started. Logan had gone to his apartment to gather his things, and made sure Patton’s car was still safe in the building’s garage. Patton didn’t even ask to move in, he had just stayed because he was too weak to go back to his place. Logan didn’t seem to mind.

Sweet Logan. His comfort. His boyfriend. Was he? Were they back together? Doubt crept into his mind again. What if Logan was letting him stay there because he felt bad for him? What if Logan was crying at night because he was too hurt to have Patton lay in his bed with him?

Before he knew it, he had dialed the work phone number in his cell to call. He was shaking really bad. He wasn’t throwing up, and he could technically move on his own, but he didn’t want to be alone. He couldn’t be alone. He needed Logan to reassure him that it was going to be okay. He needed Logan to remind him of the promise of spring.

The office had connected him to Logan’s classroom phone. A student picked up, “Room 48, who is it?”

Patton tried to speak through the shakes, “A family f-f-friend. It’s an emergency, c-c-c-can I sp-sp-speak to L-Logan?”

The student didn’t verbally answer, but two seconds later he heard his voice on the line. His shakes started to subside a tiny bit as he took in Logan’s soothing voice. “What’s wrong?”

“I c-can’t st-stop shak-k-king” he stuttered out. He was trying to curl up in a ball as his stomach churned. “C-could y-you come hom-m-me early?”

Logan sighed on the line, and Patton’s anxiety skyrocketed. He caught Logan at a bad time. He was going to be bothered and cranky and-

“Give me thirty minutes, is that sufficient or do you need someone there sooner?” Logan didn’t sound annoyed, just concerned.

“Thirty is f-fine,” Patton whispered into the phone.

“I’ll see you then.” Logan promised, then promptly hung up the phone.

Patton just laid there on the couch and let the tears stream down his face. He was too tired and cold to sob. He reached for a blanket and pulled it over his head. He closed his eyes, and next thing he knew he was asleep again.

He woke up a bit later to Logan shaking his shoulder. “Patton. Patton, could you wake up for me?” Concern was lacing his voice which encouraged Patton to try to respond.

“Yes, Logan?” he responded sleepily. He was so tired, he wanted to go back to sleep. He couldn’t help himself and fell back asleep despite Logan’s protests. His voice was like a fading echo as Patton drifted off. Sleeping kept the headache at bay.

His eyes fluttered open to the sound of heavy boots walking toward him, and there was a flashlight in his face. He noticed on the ceiling there were blue and red lights, and a radio was playing a ton of voices. In the back of his mind he knew there was an ambulance.

He wanted to say something, but instead fell back asleep. Or was it sleep? Was the sleep actually him passing out? It might have been.

Next time he woke up there was a pain in his elbow. He opened his eyes slowly, and he definitely was not on the couch. He didn’t need to ask anyone to know he was in the ER. It wasn’t his first time. He saw the pain in his elbow was an IV, probably fluids. He looked to the other side of his bed to see Logan scrolling on his phone with one hand, and holding Patton’s hand in the other.

Logan heard Patton’s head turn, and looked up. Without a word he stood up and kissed Patton with such passion he might have passed out again just from the butterflies in his stomach. He tasted the salt in Logan’s tears. He was suddenly aware of how dry his own lips were, and his tongue, and his throat.

Logan broke the kiss to lean his forehead on Patton’s. “Thank you so much for calling me home, though I would like for you to refrain from giving me anymore heart attacks this year.”

They both dissolved into hysterical giggles. Logan kept kissing Patton all over his face. Patton couldn’t help but laugh. They continued the playfulness until a nurse walked in.

“Good to see you awake, sir. Could you tell me what you remember?” the nurse asked while swiping a card in a scanner by the computer.

Patton told him of how he had stopped drinking the week prior, how he had been having some pretty bad withdrawal, and how he had managed to call Logan before ‘falling asleep’. Logan held his hand through it all, encouraging him to continue when he was too embarrassed. Once he was done, the nurse checked his vitals and walked out.

Patton looked at Logan, blushing. “Sorry for all the trouble, Starlight.”

“Don’t despair Sunshine,” Logan raised a brow, “However, when I requested you consider where you wanted to go for Valentine’s day, this was not what I had in mind.”

Patton furrowed his brow until Logan showed him the time; twelve fifteen am.

Patton giggled again, ignoring the way his abs clenched in pain. “Oops, happy Valentine’s Day I guess.”

Logan just chuckled and shook his head. They both kissed one more time, not caring about the setting they were in. They were together again.

~~~~

May had come, and Patton was happy. The spring rains had stopped so the flowers were blooming everywhere. He loved seeing the flowers in the park open. The world was back to being full of bold colors. The promise of spring had been fulfilled. He was okay again.

He had just finished his interview with Skye. Skye, the ever so patient and caring friend, told him that once he made it to six months sober he could have his job back. Patton readily agreed to the deal. It was more than what he thought he would get.

He was on his way to his usual Thursday 3:15pm appointment. He had an exercise he’d been trying out to see if it helped his mood. On his way to the clinic, he’d make a mental list of three things that held beauty. It could not be the same three things each week. It had been working, and it made him more observant overall.

This week’s three things were: the last flower on the rose bush outside of Logan’s house was blooming, the bookstore had a new display in the window, and there was a golden retriever tied to a bike rack outside the barber shop. The dog had greeted him excitedly, and looking at his watch he had a few minutes to talk to the dog.

“Aw, you’re so gorgeous. I wish I could say hi longer, but I have an appointment to get to. You are adorable, and I hope you also have a good day.” He spent some more seconds petting the dog, and when he made to stand up the dog licked his hand. Bonus beautiful thing.

He made it to the building at 3:05 pm. It was a smaller, green building that sat between a thrift store and sushi bar. Patton wasn’t one for fish, but he knew Logan was. He wanted to take Logan to sushi, but he was going to wait until his first paycheck after returning to work. It was one more thing to motivate him to keep moving forward.

When he was called back to the office, he couldn’t stop grinning to himself. The room was decorated with all of his favorite cartoon characters. When he had first started coming to therapy, he was pretty shy. He had been through it before, and after a while it had gotten too predictable. He knew what he was supposed to do, and when he reached a year sober he wanted to try on his own.

Logan had brought up therapy as an idea, just to help with recovery since relapsing. The doctor was apparently a volunteer at the middle school, after being a grief counselor for the students after their classmate’s death in November. Logan had talked with the doctor when Patton had left. Naturally, Patton was hesitant at first. After a week of Logan talking incessantly about him needing therapy, he gave in. He couldn’t resist his boyfriend’s pleas for long. He learned that the hard way.

He sat on the black sofa, smiling at the Finding Dory poster behind the doctor’s desk. It was only a moment later when the doctor came in.

“Hello, Patton! Do you how do?” the man cheerfully greeted.

Patton grinned in response. They had only had four sessions together, but the rapport was such a good fit. “Hi Dr. Picani, I’m alright. I saw a dog on my way here.”

The therapist gasped, “Was it adorable?”

“Aren’t all dogs?” Patton posed. They both started laughing.

Dr. Picani sighed in relief. “So, what are your threes?”

“Well, the dog I met today. There was also a new display in the bookstore. The last one is that the rose bush in our yard bloomed the last bud.” Patton sighed dreamily, he had taken to tending to the yards since he had the time on his hands. He wasn’t very experienced, but the last rosebud blooming helped boost his confidence.

The therapist couldn’t stop smiling. “Would you like to explore those, or would you like to talk about something else?”

“Well,” Patton squirmed, “Kinda both? I noticed something when thinking about the rose bush.”

“Alright, I’m listening.” Picani grabbed his pencil and notepad.

“In February, when I was at my low point, I had told myself that springtime’s promises of new hope were lies. I had messed up something I loved, I had thrown away two years of sobriety, I mean,” he tried to correct himself. His last session they had worked on the reminder that relapse is a part of recovery. It just meant he had a new goal to reach, and did not discount the proof that he was capable. “That’s what I had thought.”

“When I was in high school, the only reason I tried to push through my struggles in winter was that lovely reminder that I was one day closer to Spring’s Promise,” he smiled to himself, “I’d get to see the flowers bloom.”

“I see,” the therapist nodded, “So the rose budding was a reminder that you had survived another cold winter?”

“Yes!” Patton exclaimed. It was nice to have a therapist who understood him this well.

Dr. Picani scribbled some notes on his pad, then looked up at Patton. “What was this spring’s specific promise? What made you think that this year the promise was a lie?”

Patton looked down at his lap. He had trouble finding the words he needed, and the doctor waited patiently. “I suppose...well I suppose this year the promise was that I was one step closer to, to, well…” Patton rubbed his face and chuckled nervously, “Sorry, I don’t know why I can’t say it.”

“It’s okay, Patton,” Dr. Picani assured softly, “You are safe here.”

Patton nodded. He was safe. He was safe, and he was okay, and he was alive. “That was the promise.”

All the man across from him could muster was an eyebrow raise.

“The promise was I would be safe. I would be secure. Secure in my relationship, in my job, in my sobriety- the promise of this spring was that I was safe. Then…” he trailed off, tears starting to form when the bad feelings in his chest started to resurface when he thought about it. He took the box of tissues Dr. Picani offered. “Thank you. Then I made one mistake and all of that safety was thrown away. The worst part is that I was the one who did the throwing.”

Dr. Picani nodded, adding some more notes on his pad. “Have you ever heard of self-sabotage?”

Patton scoffed, “Yeah, it’s probably the most popular phrase in rehab centers.”

“Hm. Do you know why that is?” Patton shook his head no, so the doctor elaborated, “A lot of people with addictions tend to self sabotage. When someone who gets the life they had always dreamed of, well they tend to have doubts about whether they really deserve it. Does that sound familiar to you?”

Patton nodded, starting to make connections, “So when the doubt comes in, it can be easy to blow one small bad thing into something huge?” He asked.

“Exactly! So when an inevitable, minor miscommunication happens, it can reaffirm that doubt. What is your first instinct when you feel afraid?”

Patton scrunched his eyebrows in deep thought. What was his first reaction? Obviously he ran away, but that was his first action. What was his first response when afraid?

“Hide. I want to hide, and I want to escape. I want to avoid it,” he answered.

“Why is that, do you think?” the therapist tapped his pencil against his chin in thought.

“Hm. I guess because it’s less painful. Drinking was my escape for a while...but then it didn’t last. It just caused more pain.” Patton looked the doctor in the eyes. “Is that why I ran from Logan that day?”

“I don’t know, you tell me,” the other man responded, in classic therapist fashion.

Patton laughed a bit at that trope. Shaking the thought out of his head, he focused back on answering the question. “It is. I wanted to hide from the pain of our first real fight.”

Patton felt a release off of his shoulders when he made the confession. Realizing that the promise of spring was never broken, it was just delayed. He had been seeking security in all of the wrong places. He felt the final piece of the puzzle fall into place. Spring’s promise had been kept.

He came home right after Logan. Without hesitance he pounced onto his love and planted a kiss on the man’s lips. He held the man in his arms and felt the roots from autumn continue to grow beneath them. He was no longer scared of ruining it all. He felt secure in himself to be able to handle whatever challenges came his way.

Logan pulled back, a puzzled smile on his face, “It’s nice to see you too, Sunshine. What was that for though?”

Patton laughed and wrapped his arms around Logan. “I feel safe with you. Thank you for being my constant. Today I realized you’re as steady and eternal as the stars,” He planted another kiss, “Hm, maybe that’s why I call you my Starlight.”

Logan smirked against his lips. “I hate to break it to you, but the light of the stars we see are probably a result of the distance the light traveled. Some believe the stars we see have actually died.”

Patton giggled and playfully slapped Logan’s shoulder. “Shut up and let me be romantic.”

They kissed once more, smiling the whole time.

525,600 Minutes

August was almost over. Logan was very aware of what day it was for him and Patton. He couldn’t stop pacing in the living room while he waited for Patton to return from work. He had everything set up just right. There were candles flickering in the living room with the lights dimmed. He had gotten over his fears of what he had planned, mostly.

He and Patton had never fully discussed what his ring meant. At the time, it was meant to be an engagement ring. The reasoning being a bit extreme for Logan, and the fallout after, made him hesitant to accept an engagement. He still wore the ring on his neck. It was a reminder. It was a promise. He never took it off, up until that moment.

He was still pacing when Patton walked in. Patton’s brown eyes widened in astonishment at the setup. “Logan, Starlight, this is-this is magical.”

Logan cleared his throat nervously, and adjusted his glasses. “I uh, I have something I need to tell you. Let us sit on the couch?”

Patton nodded and sat down obediently. Logan wanted to sit, but he decided at the last minute it was better to stand and pace. It helped bring his thoughts together. “Patton, on this day last year I took a chance. I kissed you, and I have kissed you many times since.”

Patton nodded, “Yeah, that’s kind of what boyfriends do.”

Logan blushed, and stopped pacing to look at Patton. Looking at Patton, his lover, his light, his everything. If he had doubts before, he didn’t then. Patton’s curls in the candlelight made him see more clearly than he had a year prior. What was only mere suspicion was now a proven fact. He was ready.

Logan hesitantly, slowly knelt before Patton. A gasp escaped from the lips of the angel. The angel that was once a mystery. His beautiful, wonderful Sunshine. “In December, when you ran, I wasn’t ready. After we rejoined in February, you weren’t ready. Neither was I, truth be told. However, now I see you. You’re thriving. You’re shining brighter every day.”

Logan pulled his ring, the ring Patton had given him, out of his pocket and put it on his own ring finger.

Patton had tears streaming down his face. Rivers covering the freckles on his face. “It- it fits now?”

Logan nodded. “I had it resized, the same day I purchased this,” he pulled a ring box out of his other pocket. It was identical to the one he had received all those months ago from Patton.

Patton covered his mouth to quiet his happy sobs. Logan cleared his throat once more. He wanted to speak clearly. “You said one year ago that my affection was a rare honor that I had given to you. Would you be so kind as to return that honor, and marry me?”

Logan opened the ring box, showing a ring nearly identical to his. However, the sapphires were replaced with yellow topaz. Patton wiped the tears from his eyes, revealing a smile. He reached for the box to pull out the ring. He put it up to read the inscription.

“My Sunshine.” they spoke in unison.

Patton put the ring on, “How did you know to get the right size?” he asked.

Logan chuckled. “I had figured that you used your own finger as a measurement for mine.” They shared a laugh before Logan hesitantly asked, “So is this a…?”

Patton launched himself at Logan, knocking him over so they ended up tangled on the floor. Logan let out a grunt of surprise that seemed quiet compared to Patton’s scream of “Yes! Yes, yes, yes my Starlight!”

They embraced, laying on the floor in the candle light. They kissed each other all over. The two, Logan and Patton, the lights of the stars and the sun, had finally seen each other clearly.

They both laid there, staring at their hands, both wearing their matching rings. A fitting finale to their first seasons of love, and a fitting beginning to the rest of their years together.

Let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist of any of my ships!

[punkpoemprose]

Go Figure- A Kristanna Oneshot

Universe: Art Student/ College AU Length: 2600 Rating: T (I mean there’s nudity and... descriptions... y’all can handle it I’m sure)

Notes: Happy Unbirthday Emma @epbaker! I finally finished that art student/ figure model AU for you. I know I’ve been promising it forever, so here it is! I hope you like it!

Anna yawned as she walked across campus. The art building was mere steps from her dorm, but she’d met a friend for lunch in the science building’s café, had ended up spending a bit too long chatting and subsequently was running late, too late at least to catch the bus across campus. It was not, however, so late that she couldn’t make it across campus on foot, and she was making a valiant effort at it.

The weather was pleasant, the sun was warm on her face and someone was sitting on a low wall outside campus center with a guitar, strumming “somewhere over the rainbow” while being kind enough not to sing it.

All was well in the world, until, that was, a rather strong gust of wind rolled off the Fjord, struck her portfolio and sent her sailing straight into the largest man she’d ever seen. Well, not the largest she’d ever seen really, but the largest she’d ever run directly into, which was saying something as, despite her best intentions, Anna had a bad habit of running directly into people fairly often. The apology she always had prepared slipped from her lips.

“I’m so sorry!” she said as she tried to steer herself and her oversized portfolio away from the man at her side. “I’m so clumsy, I didn’t mean to…”

She paused when she felt his hand wrap around her portfolio handle, two fingers were just on the other side of her four as he turned the whole thing long so as to not catch the wind again. When she looked up to thank him, her mouth went dry. He was not a particularly “pretty” man like many of the guys she had classes with, but he was handsome and looking mildly annoyed.

“I’s fine,” he responded gruffly, releasing the handle and continuing ahead of her, his long legs carrying him along a lot more expediently than her own could manage.

She knew her cheeks were flushed, and she stood, for a moment, to collect herself and watch him get lost in the crush of bodies heading towards the art building.

She made a sound of annoyance under her breath, deciding that she didn’t like people who didn’t take her clumsiness in stride. It wasn’t really her fault this time anyhow, and while he has said that it was fine, his face and his quick walk off hardly said the same.

“Probably a Grad Student,” she decided, mumbling under her breath, “they’re always crabby. Maybe a music major, they’re the worst.”

She sent a mental apology to the “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” guy but decided that as he wasn’t singing, he probably wasn’t a music major anyhow. Music majors always sang, whether they were any good or not. It didn’t matter to them, and their favorite captive audience tended to be anyone on campus who wasn’t in the library and who couldn’t run. Music theory master’s student, the truest breed of asshole in the building, was what she ultimately decided on before regripping her portfolio and heading up into the building.

She found her seat in the studio with a grateful sigh. She’d managed at least, not to bump into anyone else. She did secretly like the idea of bumping into Mr. Tall-Dark-In-A-Gloomy-Way-And-Handsome again. Despite his crabbiness, or what she’d perceived as crabbiness, he was nice to look at, and Anna nefariously thought that if nothing else it might be fun to mildly inconvenience him again.

She let the thought fade into the back of her mind with other daydreams like getting Chinese for dinner instead of dining hall food and talking Residence Life and Housing into letting her bring her cat Olaf to campus as her “therapy animal”. God knew she needed one with all the stress she’d been under between classes and trying to live up to her family’s expectations of her meanwhile.

“Good afternoon class,” he professor called as she started pulling her supplies out of her bag. “I think I told you last week we’d be starting life drawing from models this week, so I want you all to turn your attention to the center of the room where our model will be joining us in just a moment. His name is Kristoff and I expect you all to be professional and work at your most efficient speed. We don’t want him holding a pose too long, you wouldn’t think it, but it can get quite uncomfortable.”

Anna had been looking forward to this unit. She still wasn’t exactly certain of what she wanted to do with her art degree, but she was leaning towards being a medical illustrator, so finally getting to draw actual bodies instead of working from photographs was an exciting prospect.

She pulled her sketchbook out as well as the conte crayons that were already her worst enemy. It seemed like every time she went to use them she snapped them under her fingers. She was going to ask her professor after class if he would mind her switching to charcoal pencil for next class. She knew that it was her fault for pressing too hard, but her hands just always seemed to work better with a pencil or marker than with small waxy fragile things. Chalk and vine charcoal likewise hated her.

“Okay, you all set Kristoff?” her professor said, “Alright, whatever is most comfortable for you. Perfect! Okay, we’re just going to do some quick gestures first so we’re going to do five minutes…”

A groan came from the assembled students, and Anna almost chuckled, finishing getting herself together as her professor quieted the dissention with reminders that they’d been warned they wouldn’t have long and that they were going to do some longer poses towards the end of class. He was saying something about warm ups and how he was starting the clock now.

Anna pulled out one of the lighter crayons to start with and looked up to the model.

The crayon snapped and fell to the floor, crunched in her grip when she realized that the man standing before her was very familiar. Not only that but that he was very familiar and very naked.

Her heart raced, her eyes went wide, and she wished more than anything that she had taken another seat. Oh to be one of her classmates that wasn’t facing Mr. Tall-Dark-In-A-Gloomy-Way-And-Handsome’s face… and perhaps worse than that, his manhood.

The brief thought she’d had while climbing the stairs to the studio that he was rude because he was compensating for “something” was whisked from her thoughts as she was faced with that particular part of his figure. She knew her face was growing hot, and that he caught her eye made her feel like deflating completely into her chair. Recognition sparked in his eye, and then she saw the slightest shift in his own expression towards embarrassment.

She could hear minutes ticking down in the back of her head, forcing herself to keep looking at him, but not to think about anything other than taking what she saw and put it to paper. She scrambled to pick up the broken bits of crayon and press the nub she managed to collect into the paper. This, she decided, was going to be the longest class of her life.

***

When they had taken a break, Anna had excused herself from the room before she could catch their model, Kristoff’s eyes again. He was slipping a robe on when she made her escape. She felt his eyes on her as she left the room, and when she’d returned, he’d met her eyes as she reentered the room. She thought that maybe he’d wanted to say something to her, but she didn’t give him the opportunity to say it.

Now though, as class was ending and he was redressing, she didn’t have much of a say in whether or not he’d be able to say something to her. Her professor had seen her conte crayon incident and was discussing the importance of pressure and tool use to her. He was, also suggesting, much to Anna’s relief, that she start using a toned charcoal pencil set instead of the crayons in order to increase her productivity.

She had only a few sketches, and all of them were as much a mess as she felt. Her professor was kindly, telling her how the first figure drawing class with nude models was always stressful and that she’d do better next time, when she saw Kristoff, the model, staring at her, fully clothed.

She nodded to her professor appreciatively and told him that she’d look into the pencil set and that she appreciated his feedback and that she’d see him next week, when she saw him slipping from the room and into the hall. It was a small mercy, she supposed, that he, Kristoff, didn’t want to talk to her after all. She supposed that there was plenty he could say to her “you shouldn’t be so clumsy with your portfolio you could have hurt someone”, “your crayon falling on the floor ruined my focus”, “you probably would have gotten more work done if you weren’t constantly in a battle to look at and to not look at my dick”. She flushed at the thought as her professor released her and she was able to walk out with her things. She didn’t have another class for the day, so she fully planned to collapse on her crappy college dorm mattress and bemoan her inability to be a normal person.

He was in the hall when she walked out, looking sheepish, and totally un-asshole-ish, which made her wish that he was the jerk that she’d made him out to be before class. It would be easier to draw him next class if she just didn’t like him and was hate drawing him. She’d even take any points off her professor wanted to take if she drew him the with tiniest dick on the planet, a clear and evident incorrect detail.

“Hey… uh… Anna?”

She had thought about walking straight past him, making those muscled legs chase after her if he really wanted to talk, but the expression on his face was nervous and shy and she found herself unable to do any such thing. She realized that he must have heard her professor call her over, or maybe he’d asked a classmate for her name during the break. She certainly hadn’t given it to him.

“Yes?” she said, trying her best not to scowl or smile, both of which felt like logical expressions in reaction to him. Her brain was battling between how to treat “jerk who didn’t have the time to deal with her in the quad” and “attractive and shy guy standing in front of her in a tight fitting shirt that barely hid the strong muscled form she knew to be underneath” in a way that felt logical and satisfying.

He looked down at his shoes, pushing off from the wall he’d been half leaned against, waiting for her to walk out. It struck her as a sort of nervous motion, like he hadn’t really thought this far ahead and like he was much less smooth than he’d like to be. It was enough to make a smile ghost on her lips.

“I… I’m sorry about earlier… in the quad. I was late… I commute and my truck had problems and… you probably don’t care about that… I just, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for acting so annoyed with you. I’m just… not really good with people, even when I’m not upset. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you though. I should have said that it was okay.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. It was a small one, and she did her best to cover it.

“No, don’t… Look I’m really clumsy, I shouldn’t have expected for you to say it was fine. I’m sorry too.”

He was standing close, he towered her, but she wasn’t intimidated. She could tell now that she was seeing him as he was, as he usually was at least. He seemed a little shy, a little nervous, but kind, and it made her wish she hadn’t been so mean earlier, even if it was mostly just in her thoughts.

“Can you answer a question for me though?” she asked, unwilling to help herself.

“I.. yes. Sure.”

She smiled at him, trying to give him the warmth she probably should have given him from the start.

“What’s your major?”

He seemed surprised by the question, but quickly answered, “Pre-vet.”

Oh, she liked that. Not pretentious… at least not nearly as much as she thought music majors were. He looked a little bit older than her, so she wondered if he was a senior or just had gotten a late start to still be “pre-vet” instead of on the vet track. It didn’t really matter she decided. He already liked him.

“Can I ask you something too?” he said, seeming nervous again, even when she assented with a nod.

“Can I get you a coffee or something… you know… because I want to apologize. Not because I…”

He trailed off and she watched him brush a hand through his mussed blonde hair. A part of her had wanted to comb her hand through it while he’d been standing there, naked in the classroom when she’d been trying to decide whether she didn’t like him or whether she found him insanely attractive.

“Not because you…?”

She saw the flush on his cheeks and she felt like she was missing something that she should have caught.

He seemed confused for a moment, and then he flushed harder, avoiding her eye as she looked up at him.

“Oh… I didn’t think… I figured you’d noticed and that was why you’d left during the break?”

She shook her head, trying to think what he thought her motivations could have been other than her annoyance about their interaction outside.

“I… well… I was staring and… you’re very beautiful… and…”

She snorted, “I spent a whole class drawing you naked, why would I be annoyed that you were looking at me when I was trying not to stare at your… Oh.”

She put two and two together in that moment. She had done a lot of staring and trying not to stare at a certain part of his anatomy, and she supposed that she might have just not noticed a certain… change in him while she was drawing.

She thought that she might combust. He was standing a bit uncomfortably, she supposed it made sense, she’d just not connected the signs until he said something.

“Coffee… coffee would be nice,” she said, face hot and voice squeaking out of her throat. “But I think I should buy… sorry about that.”

He gave a little half shrug, red as a tomato himself. “It’s not something you should be sorry about I should have…”

She giggled then, unable to help herself, “No, no. I’m flattered, really! And I mean… I guess if I knew that all it took to get someone this nice and this attractive interested was to smack them with my portfolio…”

He laughed then, a warm sound that made her feel like she was melting on the spot.

“I guess I’m lucky you didn’t. Because now we get to have coffee, and maybe talk a little?”

She smiled and kicked out her portfolio with her toe, bumping it into his side again, before walking down the hall, knowing he’d follow.

[zamoimagines]

Dreams (Oneshot)

Word Count: 1,448

Pairing: Misty Day x Reader 

Summary: After a long day at work, you try to unwind by getting high to some music in hopes that it’ll make you feel somewhat better. Little do you know that someone was watching you from your window. 

 A/N: I really wanted to write something up for Misty, so here it is! I played with this idea last night in between fics while listening to Dreams by the Cranberries. Kinda short, but I hope you guys like it! If ya’ll want a part two, let me know :)

Today had been particularly shitty. Most days were alright, considering you had moved to New Orleans two months ago. How could bad days happen when you lived in such a beautiful city? Unfortunately, they still seemed to happen even in the middle of being in a dream land. Your apartment was beautiful, you lived above a small cafe run by the sweetest old couple, the weather was always amazing, and you even loved your job. Though, your boss was not the most pleasant of people. It took you making one typo mistake in the company memo for her to degrade you in front of all of your coworkers. You had never been so embarrassed.

Needless to say, you were happy to be home. The sun had gone down hours ago. The usually bustling streets were now completely quiet in the dead of night. It was absolutely serene, so much so that you left your window wide open.

You turned on your bluetooth speaker and put on your favorite playlist on shuffle. The music to an old Cranberries song began to start up. Sighing to yourself, you grabbed the pre rolled joint one of your neighbor’s had given you. After the day you’d had it was a perfect excuse to get way too high so that your troubles would melt away. You lit the end of the paper with a candle that was already going and took a long drag. As the smoke hit the back of your throat, you coughed hard.

“Damn, this shit is strong.” you mumbled to yourself in between hacking. Your neighbor had warned you that her shit was the best. It had to be true for only after two more hits, you were stoned out of your mind.

The music began to pick up as you continued to smoke. You found that your body began to start to sway along to the rhythm. You had forgotten how amazing this song was. In this moment, it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever heard. Naturally you turned the volume up all the way. You hummed along and let your body flow with the song. Every now and again, you would take another drag. You probably looked like an absolute fool right now, but you didn’t care. This was the most alive you’d felt in weeks.

As the high hit you even harder, you forgot that time was passing. The song was so drawn out, but in a good way. As if you could dance to it for all of eternity without ever stopping.

Your arms raised above your head while making fluid gestures with your hands. Your head began to bob more along to the beat as your hips swayed along. The wind had picked up from outside, causing your window curtains to fly everywhere. There was something so magical about all of this. A big smile grew on your face.

Immediately, you rushed over to your window and sat down. The spring air filled your nostrils with a fresh, floral scent. You gazed out at the trees beyond the town. Everything was blossoming and growing. Dreamily, you gazed up at the stars and leaned your face on one of your hands. Good things were coming, you could feel it in your gut.

“Nice dancin’ moves!” an unfamiliar voice called out. You jerked upward. Was someone in your house? You glanced behind you, trying to find out who had come inside.

“Down here!” The voice sounded out. It was a woman’s voice… It was a thick southern drawl. Deep, but very warm. It was a rather inviting tone. You turned back to your window and looked down at the street. To your surprise, there was a stranger standing down below.

She was the most beautiful woman you’d ever laid eyes on. Her blonde hair was wild and curly. She was dressed in a short, red prairie dress with the greatest knee high boots. A black shawl embroidered with flowers was wrapped around her shoulders. Her eyelids were covered in smudged liner, but even through the makeup, you could see that her eye color was a piercing ice blue. The smile she gave you was beaming. It was as if this woman was glowing in the moonlight. She was absolutely ethereal.

It was then that you realized your music was still going at a very loud volume.

“Shit! I am so sorry!” You cried out. You scrambled to find your phone to pause the music.

“No, no! Come back to the window!” The woman shouted.

You did as she said and sat once again. Her smile grew even wider when you came back.

“Don’t turn it off, I love this song,” she began. “This the Cranberries?”

“Yeah.” You grinned a little. “It’s one of my favorites.”

“I can tell. You were a dancin’ fool up there.”

She was giggling at you, but not in a rude way. Though you still managed to feel like a complete idiot. You had to laugh at yourself too.

“I’m sorry you had to see that. My dancing is an atrocity.” You joked.

“Actually, I thought it was pretty cute.”

Her words sent shivers down your spine. Was she flirting?

“What’s your name, sugar cube?” she cooed.

The pet name was enough to make you blush. You stuck your head just a little further out of the window so she could hear you better.

“Y/N.”

“That’s mighty pretty. Suppose a pretty face needs a pretty name like that.” The woman replied cheekily.

“Thanks… You’re gorgeous.” The last part slipped out from your lips as if you had no control over your thoughts. You bit your lower lip nervously. This lady probably thought you were a world class dunce. Though, to your surprise, you swore you saw her cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

“Fuck- I mean…” you began,

“It’s alright, darlin’. I’m glad you think so.” She walked a little closer toward the building so that she was directly under your window.

“You new ‘round here? I’ve never seen you before.”

“Just moved here a couple months ago. I work a little further out from the city, so I’m only downtown when I’m at home.”

“That’s a damn shame. Do you know your way around yet?”

“Uh… I mean as best as I can.”

“So, no then?”

You took a drag from the joint in your other hand. As you exhaled, you shook your head.

“I guess not.” You laughed.

The blonde chuckled right back. Her shawl fell slightly, resting around her forearms as she peered up at you.

“Not to give you any ideas… But rumor has it that I’m gonna be dyin’ for a bagel in the mornin’.” She gestured toward the cafe under your place. “Maybe I’ll stop in there… say about ten o’clock? That’s just what I’ve heard though.”

She was beautiful and charming and witty? You couldn’t believe that you weren’t dreaming.

“And who told you that?”

The blonde shrugged. “Some little birdie told me. It would be somethin’ magical if you and I just happened to bump into each other. I could even show you around if you’re interested.”

You laughed aloud, for she made you a giggly mess the way she was talking. But you nodded back.

“That would be something.”

“So, I’ll see you there tomorrow then?”

“Yeah… Why not.”

The blonde winked at you. “It’s a date, sugar cube.”

Your face felt hot as she began to strut away from the building. She turned for a brief moment to wave at you.

“See ya ‘round, Y/N.”

You waved right back to her. As she walked further and further, your heart began pounding in your chest. It occured to you that you hadn’t even asked her who she was.

“Hey! Wait!” you called out over the music. You weren’t sure if she would hear you that far out. When she turned around to face your window once again, you felt a sense of relief.

“Yeah?” She rang out.

“What’s your name?”

“Misty!” She grinned happily. “Misty Day!”

With that, she turned right back around and faded into the night. You shut your window before holding your beaming face in your hands. Maybe it was magic, or fate. Perhaps even luck. All you knew was that you had to get to bed immediately so that tomorrow would come sooner.

The song ended softly. That didn’t stop you from listening to it on repeat for the rest of the evening because now it wasn’t just a good song. This was Misty’s song.

You fell back onto your couch before hugging your knees to your chest.

Misty Day… The woman of your dreams.

REQUEST MORE IMAGINES HERE!

[toysoldiers-rwby]

Deleted Scene

Show Your Teeth Ch. 3

A/N: I had to remove this scene because it derailed from the plot too much. its around 3k so I might touch this up as a oneshot, idk. unedited, unfinished

Rating: Explicit. Minors turn away! (tagged as thoorist)

Fiona/Winter/May

Tags: nsfw, wet dream, sexual tension, praise kink, temp play, threesome

Dinner was… odd. For one they weren't up in Atlas Academy, eating a care package Klein and Weiss sent or causing trouble in the mess hall. They were on the floor of Robyn's apartment, surrounding a stained and uneven coffee table.

Eating food that was dropped off by a mysterious Thief capable of hacking into Atlas' network.

And it was peaceful.

With two of the hottest heads in Atlas Academy.

Fiona gave her elites worried glances. In her head she could hear Winter huff and puff about eating evidence. While Winter wasn't as by-the-book as Vine this was the only clue they had to find the Thief that *hacked into Atlas.* And as a daughter of one of the richest families she could be poisoned or drugged. May would normally be barking over every little thing, such as Robyn sitting too close or staring too long at Fiona. Instead they were… docile.

They lived up in Atlas all their lives. This was their second time in Mantle. Everything they wanted was at their fingertips while Mantle had to scavenge for their scraps. Including fighting for the attention for the people that was supposed to protect them. The Thief had to trick them in kill Grimm!

Fiona sighed and slipped another piece of stuff chicken into her mouth. She kept her worried glances on her teammates and listened to the only conversation. Robyn and Joanna was talking about logistics and timing, the planning it would have taken the Thief to make the food and deliver it.

"There's no way they made the food," Robyn said. She plucked a stuff mushroom from the center and held it out to Joanna. "This takes way too much time!"exp

"It's called meal prep. If you'd stop passing me all the cooking jobs you'd know," Joanna said with a slight grin. Robyn frowned, glaring lightly before tossing the mushroom into her mouth. Joanna held up an empty plate. She pointed to the restaurant logo on it. "These were stolen and the restaurants around here definitely don't cook like this."

"It is too good to not be homemade," Robyn gradually conceded. "But she must live-"

Fiona heard the sharp whine before everyone else. Her ears immediately pointed at May as she twitched a little. The noise completely caught Winter off guard. She nearly dropped the spool of fire Dust she was playing with, head jerking to look at May. The usually angry women whined again, pitching low into a groan as her eyes tried to fluttered open. She was awake long enough to snuggle into Winter's shoulder and immediately fell back asleep, mouth open and soft snores coming from her. Fiona grinned and giggled behind her hand. For such an elite she was wore herself on her sleeves.

"At least she finished her plate," Winter said with a soft sigh. She looked conflicted, wanting to relax but her guarded blue eyes wouldn't stray from the Mantle pair for long.

"Maybe you three should take my bed…" Joanna muttered. Winter's cold demeanor slowly shifted to Joanna in that calm furious way. The biggest tell this time was the bright heated glow from the spool of fire Dust. "I'm- I'm crashing with Robyn," the giant quickly explained. "My bed's bigger and I know you three are stressed right now."

"Plus you two are the most overprotective people we've met," Robyn added with her arms crossed. Fiona nodded in agreement before she could stop and stuck her tongue out when Winter frowned at her. "Would you two really let Fiona sleep in the living room in a stranger's apartment while you elites kick me out of my bed?"

Winter blinked. Fiona could sense the tension fading from the Schnee's body. Her body didn't actually relax but the dimming glow of the fire Dust gave the illusion of it. Winter ate one last stuffed mushroom. "Huh," She said. Robyn and Joanna waited for more acknowledgement or appreciation but Winter only closed her eyes. Signaling the end of that conversation.

Robyn scowled and Fiona stepped in to try and pacify her, "Thanks. It's… it's been tough but I'm sure it'll better now that we have a fourth member, right?" She looked at her teammates.

May was drifting into deep sleep and Winter was softly glaring at her partner.

"Ideally," Winter replied only after Fiona cleared her throat. Winter picked up May and Joanna guided the trio to her room. Fiona tried not to imagine all the hard muscles in Winter's back and arms as she set May on the bed. She just moved her partner around so effortlessly…

"Sorry we don't have any extra clothes or toothbrushes for you," Joanna mumbled.

"Oh, I think I have some actually," Fiona said. She concentrated and flexed her hand, recalling the memories associated with the object.

It was a conversation after a surprise trip out of the Kingdom when a Search and Destroy suddenly became a Search and Rescue. Thankfully it was a success but the elites would not stop complaining about their hair. Or maybe it was a break in the usual routine that pissed them off?

Fiona manage to exude two toothbrushes and… a hair brush with long blue hair. "Damn it, May," Fiona sighed. "I guess it's a good thing she's asleep."

"She usually doesn't tire so easily…" Winter said softly. Fiona leaned to the side to see her hand linger through May's hair as she brushed it out of her face. Fiona started her suspicion count then, even if she had several ones before it. "Maybe Weiss and Klein are right. We need a break."

"Or a date," Joanna mumbled too softly for the humans to hear. Fiona's ears perked up. She silently gasped up at Joanna who tried not to blush and fidget. Joanna cleared her throat, "Maybe you three can go shopping tomorrow? To blend in better."

"That's a good idea," Robyn said walking up and showing her Scroll. It was a map of the neighborhood. Specifically an oval encompassing the… street Fiona blew up and Robyn's apartment building. "The Thief had time to swing by their home and beat us here. They're fast but we should start our search here."

"Agreed," Winter said with a nod. She slipped her usual tie loose and undid a few buttons on her shirt and cuffs. Obviously undressing for bed.

Robyn smirked. Fiona could tell another sly remark was on her lips but Joanna quickly shoved her friend out of the room, "Goodnight! Bathroom is on at the end of the hall!" Winter sneered watching the pair retreat to Robyn's room and quietly closed the door behind them.

Fiona closed her eyes, ears wiggling in their direction, "I wasn't going to insult them," she could hear Robyn pout. "In fact I had very nice things to say."

"Do you really want to get between whatever those elites have-" Joanna cut herself off with a sigh. If Fiona's answer was 'Yes, I'd love to get between the pair of sexy elites' Robyn was probably in the same boat. She could imagine Robyn's smug face and Joanna's tired exhaustion. "I will kick you out of your own bed if you don't behave."

"Yes, ma'am," Robyn said with a laugh. The sound made Fiona's ears flutter and her eyes slowly opened. It was… soft and gentle in a way she didn't expect for such an arrogant women.

Fiona finally closed the door and when she turned to the bed she saw a nearly nude Winter hovering over May. This time Fiona treated herself to Winter's sculpted muscles, the old light catching her pale skin and highlighting all the right planes as she breathed and shifted. Fiona only wished she was in her usual night lace. Maybe had her hair down completely down but it gave Fiona odd butterflies knowing it was done by May.

Hearing the door clicked close Winter glanced over her shoulder, revealing a frown, "May still has dirt and rubble on her clothes." Fiona walked over and May's shirt and pants. She concentrated. Separating closely touching objects was always harder. She focused on the coat and shirt, the little bits of rocks and dirt. She imagined May out of the designer cloths- standing nude in their dorms.

Her semblance activated, clothes absorbing into her and leaving… May in her a simple bra and boyshorts. Fiona exuded May's clothes with a relieved sigh. She was _never_ doing that again... not while she was teased and pent up. Fiona tried shaking out all the small rocks before folding them neatly next to Winter's cloths and finally slipping out of her own thick clothing. Feeling the difference Fiona made a quick list of what shops to drag the pair to in the morning. Hopefully Robyn would have some proper coats for the pair. She closed the lights and finally got in bed.

Fiona didn't realize she was in the middle of her two elites until she was already settled in. She was sure Winter had a crush on May… if that was true wouldn't she want to sleep next to her? Winter caught her confused frown through her Scroll, "I'll be up a little longer and you get restless with stranger's scents, right?"

Fiona blushed and nodded. As a Faunus her senses were sensitive and she was just wired a little differently. Unfamiliar meant dangerous and dangerous sent her flight or fight intincts into overdrive. During a stay in a hotel she accidentally kicked May out bed in her sleep because it smelled of so many people. Joanna's bed was earthy and deep with hints of rain. It was nice but still unfamiliar.

There was a brief light and the sound of a Glyph being summoned. That finally stirred May enough, but only to turn away from it and drape an arm on Fiona. Winter smiled. A lot more open than usual in the dark and obscured through the hard-light screen. She always looked better when she wasn't acting like the perfect soldier. The thought stunned the little sheep long enough for Winter to wrap the scarf loosely around her neck.

Fiona closed her eyes and took a deep breath. May always smelled like flowers for some reason, fresh snow. Her ears wiggled happily.  "Goodnight, Win. Don't stay up too late."

"Goodnight. Don't let May drool all over the scarf." Winter said. Fiona giggled, nestling into the stranger's blankets and pillows with a warm and familiar arm comforting her and two blue eyes watching over them.

Even with the scarf Fiona didn't sleep through the night. Her sharp ears picked up noises from the window or a trip to the bathroom. Sometimes there was a small jerk, flight instincts kicking in.

The first time May grumbled and flailed for her hand to hold tight. The second time, Fiona kicked Winter causing her to drop her Scroll onto her face. The third time both her elites groaned and pinned her in. May spooned her tightly from behind and Winter threw a tired arm over the pair, finally giving up on her Scroll.

Fiona wasn't sure if she fell asleep after that. She did slip into a haze, just barely aware of Winter's lace bra against her smaller chest and her cool breath blowing across their shared pillow and into Fiona's cheeks. It created such a sharp contrast with May's warm body, nearly every inch of available skin pressed against Fiona.

Time was measured in breaths and with each breath it sent a shock through Fiona's system. Each breath May nuzzled closer, slowly pushing her to Winter's chest then firmly until they were nose to nose. Another deep breath and they were another inch closer.

Winter sighed, eyes slipping open. They were bright, glowing blue in the dim lights of Mantle. Fiona wondered if the human had enough light to see. Her eyes were wandering yet it always found Fiona's lips.

"Still can't sleep, Thyme?"

Fiona blinked. The aloof tone was far too hot to be real. This was a dream. Fiona closed her eyes and took a deep breath. May shifted again and Winter's cool lips were on hers-

Warm hands were suddenly heavy and wandering. Fiona whimpered as hot lips met her shoulders. Nibbles turn to bites as May's wandered up her shoulder to her neck. The hot and cold from her elites causing her head to spin and blood to rush down to between her legs. Winter stole every moan with a Schnee demanding kiss.

A kiss that so hot it caused Fiona's ears to fan back and forth and body to kneel and arch into her. So hot, her heart couldn't beat and even May's dull scratches were cool. For a moment Fiona only felt hot and wet. A low throb in her clit pulsing with every angry line May left on her hips and abdomen.

"Don't be selfish, Schnee," May breathed. Hot breath cooling the wet spot on her neck. Then it felt like electricity as her teeth sunk in deep. Winter pulled back, finally a moan with her partner. Hearing herself so loud after all the whispers… feeling herself drip and soak for her teammates dragged Fiona's mind deeper into a haze.

"Careful," Winter whispered into her cheek. She tried to push the words into her skin with a kiss there and another inching down her jaw. "Our host might hear you."

"I don't care," Fiona mumbled. May tore her lips away, pulling and pinching skin. Another jolt rocked Fiona's body. Her ass grinding back on May. The Marigold took in a shuddering breath, the hot and solid member taking them both by surprise. "Fuck, May…"

"Keep that up, little sheep," May husk. One of her wandering hands clawed a firm grip on her hips. Even through both their underwear, Fiona could feel a slick hot trail growing between her cheeks.

"And we'll do more than fuck you." Winter finished her hands finally on Fiona only to selfishly pull her away from May and onto her thigh by her ass. May followed fast and hard, being pulled into a kiss by Winter. Her teammate's dick grinded hard on her ass, pressing her wet clit hard on Winter's thigh.

Fiona was seeing stars. Specifically in her teammates bright eyes whenever they pulled away from a breath. Especially when her elites gazed down through long lashes. May growled, frustrated and low as her grinding increased. Winter's hand twisted around, cupping her partner through two pieces of cloth.

At first Fiona cried at the loss but then begged as Winter started slipping both their underwear down.

Then Winter pulled back from the kiss. The grin far too wicked, "Sorry Marigold," was the only warning Fiona had before long slender fingers pushed in-

"F-Fuck!" Fiona cried and arched. Her teeth sunk into whatever was in front of her. Winter's fingers curled and pushed with no resistant until Fiona was squeezing all three knuckles.

"Selfish as always, Schnee," May said. Her voice might have been even but she sounded content. Fiona almost wish she had a chance to catch her breath like May, but then Winter wiggled her fingers and she bit into her chest again, trying in vain to muffle her cry and to still her fluttering ears. She couldn't… not with Winter toying with her. Coiling the low heat in her belly like she was tuning a violin.

Fiona tried to keep track of May's presence. But her world slowly narrowed down to the slow thrusting and two fingers. In and out. Always hitting the front wall. Slowly picking up pace and power until the little sheep was straddling her hips and buckling to keep position.

May would suddenly appear. Hands peeling off their remaining clothing or just as a disembody voice whispering against the back of Fiona's neck.

"Look at her take it," May said. "Think she'll cum before I get to fuck her?"

"Maybe," Winter said. May was barely a presence. Just a warm hand that gripped Fiona's neck and pressed her face into Winter's exposed breast.

"Be good, and return the favor, Fi." May ordered. All three of them groaned when Fiona's tongue brushed over Winter's skin. The cool was a shock and Fiona clenched around Winter's fingers. Winter gasped, back arching into Fiona's mouth. "Good… She ready?"

"Fuck…" Fiona moaned around Winter's nipple. Suddenly all she could focus on was the stretch and soft burn as Winter scissor her fingers as she pulled out.

"Wet enough? Yes. Loose enough," Winter mumbled into Fiona's hair. Slow. Her finger's re-entered Fiona so fucking slow! She tried to buck down but a damn Glyph appeared around her waist to hold her still. "Maybe. You're surprisingly big, Marigold."

"Hm… how about it Fi?" May asked. Fiona felt warm hands spread her wet lips and search. Fiona cried, her clit finally exposed. Then she felt May's cock twitch and pulse against her lips. Up, head brushing against her sensitive nub and down her shaft. Down each vein, down and down until finally May's hips met her ass. Fiona was out breath, panting across Winter's flushed breast. "Too big?"

"I…" Fiona tried to look down but May's other hand tilted her head up. She was locked onto yellow eyes with their lips almost brushing. "Again- May!" Fiona threw her head back, jerking out of May's grip as the Marigold thrusted her hips again.

With impossible accuracy her head brushed against her clit. No matter how fast May was Fiona was breathless when their hips met. The dragging and soft veins, Winter's scissoring and fingering hands- suddenly pulled out.

"No! Please!" Fiona cried. Her hips chased those cool fingers but the Glyph didn't let her move.

"Aw, I think our little lamb was close," Winter said.

"Don't worry, Fi," May said with a growling chuckle. Her lips was back, hovering over her. Finally her dick was lined and pressing at Fiona's entrance.

"We'll always take care of you." Winter finished. Her lips sealed over Fiona's, stealing another moan as May finally-

"Fuck!"

Pushed in. Fiona's ears fluttered and her back arched. The stretch... it was a pleasent and burned all the air in her lungs.

pushed in.

With all the teasing the pair had done entry was smooth. Almost embarrassingly so but even with Winter's warning and fingers, Fiona wasn't expecting the feel of May's girth. May was panting above her. Fingers trembling on Fiona's hips as she kept the pressure consistent. There was barely a jerk when the head completely slipped past the entrance. Instead May had to take pause and gasp for air.

[spideyscnse]

seaside - p. parker

(sci-fi, part ii)

pairing: peter parker x reader

word count: 2.2k

warnings: none! fluff <3

summary: y/n is terrified of the sea, but this is completely unbeknownst to peter, who asks her out on a date—to the beach. luckily, though, they were together, and the water wasn’t too cold today.

note: please do not plagiarise my work! (a/n: this is a continuation of sci-fi, which is a bookstore au oneshot that i wrote (it will give you more context) which you can find here but this can also be read on its own!)

masterlist

*

You didn’t know why you agreed to go to the beach. You hadn’t been in years, and you hadn’t swam in a pool since kindergarten—let alone the ocean.

Rubbing the sunscreen into your arms, you glanced into the floor-length mirror and tried to practice looking not-so-scared-of-the-water. You hoped that your nervousness wouldn’t be too apparent, because while you were excited to hang out with Peter, you would have rather just gone to a café or something.

“Oh yeah, also, are you free on Saturday?” Peter had asked, as the two of you were walking home one evening, after spending the entire afternoon reading together over some fruit smoothies at the shop.

“Uh, I think?” You shrugged, “Why?”

“Do you wanna go to the beach with me? I swear it’ll be fun,” He said, rubbing his hands on his jeans, and looking incredibly jittery. You weren’t sure why; you’d known each other for months! Surely he was comfortable enough by now?

At his suggestion, you sucked air through your teeth, hesitant at accepting. You’d never found it important enough to tell people, but you had always feared the ocean, and the idea of going, voluntarily, so close to it, kind of freaked you out.

When Peter realised you hadn’t responded and noted your expression, his face fell a bit and he quickly said, “I’m sorry, you don’t have to, it’s okay if you don’t want to go with me, I understand you might be—,”

You were very quick to stop him, “No, no, it’s not you, it’s just I—,” and just as you were about to decline, you sucked in some courage and changed your mind at the last second, “actually, no, it’s okay, I’ll go.”

You weren’t sure what compelled you to agree, (maybe it was the fact that his puppy-dog eyes were just far too cute) but his eyes immediately lit up and he started telling you all about the beach excitedly, and soon your nervousness was forgotten.

But now, that nervousness had returned, in all of its glory. It was kind of pitiful; weren’t teenagers supposed to love going to the beach? You heaved a sigh and pulled your bag over your shoulder, preparing yourself for the trek to the bus stop that would take you to the shore.

When the bus finally pulled into the station after twenty minutes of waiting, it was packed full, probably because it was a Saturday and everyone was trying to get to the beach, which made everything a million times worse.

The crowd left you itching in your newly bought swimwear, sitting underneath your cover-up. because you didn’t own any before Peter had asked you. Thankfully, a quick shopping trip and a rather awkward conversation with a clothing shop employee had fixed that problem, with the nice lady reassuring you that this was what people wore to the beach nowadays, and that it looked fine.

When the bus pulled to the side at the beach, half of the crowd got off, and you were spat out of the bus as the excited children and their exhausted parents swarmed out of the vehicle. You did a quick check that you still had all of your things, and then pulled out your phone to call Peter. It seemed that wasn’t necessary, though, because as soon as you hit dial and did a quick scan of the boardwalk, you found the boy you were looking for leaning against one of the fences, glancing around.

You caught his gaze and couldn’t help the smile that lit up your face, despite the incredibly fast rate of your heart and your jitters. Even the sound of the ocean made you more nervous than you would have liked, and you hoped it wasn’t too obvious.

Peter pushed himself off of the fence post he had been sitting on and rushed over to you, immediately offering to take one of your two bags. You gave him the lighter of the two after much insistence on his part to take at least something for you.

“The bus was more crowded than usual, huh?” He said as the two of you started making your way down the path. You weren’t sure where you were going, but at least it was away from the crowd that had just gotten off the bus and were still huddled around the stop. You chuckled, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as the wind pulled it out of place, “Yeah, I mean, it’s Saturday, and the beach is a popular place, I guess. Do you come here often?”

Peter shrugged, “Not really, I mean, I really like to swim and everything but I have the internship and school, and I don’t get time to come. Really would like to come more often, though,” He seemed to think for a brief moment, before adding quickly and nervously, “Especially if it’s with you.”

A blush rose to his cheeks and he rubbed the back of his neck shyly.

You were left speechless, far too flattered to form a coherent sentence, and sputtered, “Uh-yeah, oh, I’d love to go out—uh, hang out—uh, yeah, uh more.”

Your words only made the situation more awkward—and instead of comforting Peter and quelling his embarrassment, it only seemed to make his blush a deeper shade of tomato.

“Uh, sorry,” He said, finally breaking the silence after walking wordlessly for several moments, “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable, I was just—,”

“It’s okay, really,” You assured him, giving him a small smile, glancing up so that you could meet his eyes, “It’s true. I really like—uh, hanging out with you.”

The relief that spread across his features was almost comical; and you tried to bite back your giggles, but they still spilled past your lips, too insistent to be held back, and he exclaimed with a laugh, “Hey, don’t make fun of me, Y/N, I’m really bad at this and I don’t know what to say to—you know—,”

You tapped his shoulder lightly and told him, “Don’t worry about that, Peter,” and with a bout of newly found bravery, you said, “You’re too cute.”

He blushed again, but this time the rosiness in his cheeks was accompanied by a bright smile and shining eyes.

***

When Peter had first suggested going to swim, you’d scrambled for an excuse, and managed to make one up— “Hey, um, I’m kind of tired from the bus ride, do you wanna grab some ice cream as a refresher?”

He hadn’t objected; instead, he’d been quick to agree and quite excited as he admired the massive array of flavours spread out in front of him as the two of you entered the cute little ice cream shop by the seaside. The shop was surprisingly empty—you supposed it was because the store was located a bit further away from the bus stop, and most people probably went straight to the water.

Ah, the water. You shoved all thoughts of the stuff out of your mind and focused on picking a flavour.

You quickly made your order of two scoops of chocolate, and received it, instantly starting to eat it, but Peter was very indecisive about his flavours. There seemed to be more flavours than he’d ever seen, because he tried several of them and seemed extraordinarily excited by all of them, before ending up just getting strawberry.

He sat down opposite to you, and started eating his ice-cream cone, as well, though you noted, amused, how he kept casting looks back at the countless flavours behind the glass, and then turning to glance at you.

“Did you want another flavour instead?” You said, raising an eyebrow curiously, and Peter bit his lip and quickly turned back to you.

“Nah, I just haven’t really…felt this, you know, normal, for a long time,” He admitted, “I mean—I just haven’t had ice cream in a while, I guess.”

You considered his words, “But normal is good, right?” “Yeah, yeah, it’s good,” He said immediately, without hesitation, “It’s what I need, and I just…you know, I have the internship, and I’m always surrounded by the Avengers, and it’s tiring sometimes. This is…really nice,” He met your eyes shyly.

“I get what you mean,” You said, holding his gaze and smiling, “You’re so busy all the time, it’s kind of a miracle how you always find time to show up at the shop.” He brushed his hair out of his eyes and blurted, “Nah, I’ll always find time to see you.” You felt the heat rise to your cheeks, and felt the butterflies in your stomach before Peter’s cheeks turned pink. But, they did, half a second after yours, and the two of you returned to eating your ice cream quietly, until you just couldn’t bear watching him eat anymore.

“Peter,” You exclaimed, with a deep frown, “Did I just see you take a bite out of your ice cream? A bite? With your teeth?” “Yeah, well, I don’t want to get spit all over it by licking it—,”

***

By the time the two of you finally got even relatively close to the water, it was almost half-past four. You’d found other things to do; spending almost an hour in the ice cream shop alone, and then wandering through the various stores and buying little keychains and souvenirs. You’d found several ways to stall actually having to deal with your fears. You didn’t know how to swim. Even thinking about it made you feel embarrassed, even though it wasn’t really anything to be ashamed of. Still…

You were at a beach. With a cute boy. In swimming clothes. And you didn’t know how to swim.

When you finally reached the shoreline, after tentatively crossing the beach. The sand was kind of nice between your toes, but the thought of actually going into the water—that endless expanse of blue that you could probably very easily get lost in and never be seen again—made your head spin. Peter eagerly approached the water and walked in until he was knee-deep in the sea, beckoning you to come closer, and you bit your lip.

“Hey, it’s not too cold today!” He said excitedly, “Come on, Y/N! Oh, I forgot how nice the beach is, wow.”

“Uh, Peter, I…”

“Come on, it’s not too cold today, I promise,” He called out, and, not wanting to disappoint, you slipped off your cover-up and approached the water hesitantly.

You sucked in a deep breath and first put one foot in, then the other, but a particularly large wave washed in and then suddenly you were knee-deep in the water, you yelled out, jumping back, “Pete, I don’t—,”

“Y/N, are you okay?” He said, almost instantly at your side, his face laced with concern, “Have you swam in the ocean before? I’m so sorry I didn’t check with you, I was too excited—,” “It’s not your fault, Pete,” You shut your eyes tightly, “I don’t know how to swim.”

“What?”

This was it. He was going to be so disappointed, and then you’d have to go home on a silent bus ride, and he’d never talk to you again, and then he’d never ask you out ever again, because you were far too boring for him, and then—

“Y/N,” He said softly, taking both of your hands gently and meeting your eyes, “It’s okay. If it’s too much then we can head back, I’m sorry—,”

“No, no, I’m okay,” You insisted, and he let go of your hands carefully, letting you regain your balance. You’d gotten this far, after all. It was the first time you’d ever even touched seawater, and it was kind of nice—the way the water foamed against the sand and the glimmer of the ocean beneath the sunlight.

“Do you wanna…hold on, then?” He bit a lip as he held out a hand tentatively, “We don’t have to go too far, and you can hold—uh, my hand, if you want to—,” You took his hand.

“Thank you, Peter,” You said, the feeling of his hand in yours almost instantly making you feel much safer—at least you had someone to hold on to. You wouldn’t be lost at sea, you wouldn’t be washed away, because Peter was here. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, I was really embarrassed, and I didn’t want to make you feel bad for inviting me here, so—,”

“It’s okay, Y/N,” He said, shaking his head and carefully leading you, step by step, deeper into the water, “I understand, it’s scary. I’ll help you, though,” He said his tone brightening, “It’s not so scary when you have someone with you, is it?”

No, it really wasn’t.

“It’s so much better,” You said, unable to help the smile that crept across your lips, “Thank you, no one’s ever done this for me before.”

“This is okay, right?” He said, the waves now reaching up to your hips, “It’s kind of nice, isn’t it?”

“It is really nice,” You said softly, overwhelmed with the smell of the sea, and Peter’s smile, and the warmth of his hand, and it was just—

Nice. This was normal—it was what both of you needed, and it was nice.

[forever-forgotten-angel]

Back to the Basics (Part 1)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 (Final Part)

Warning: This is a Thomas Sanders/Virgil Sanders romantic fic so if you don’t like that then please skip over this story and have a wonderful day!

Summary: Basically just some mutual pining between my favorite sunshine boy and emo side with some fluff thrown in for flavor. Featuring Thomas attempting to court a selectively oblivious Virgil and the other sides being ‘helpful’ to said courting process.  

Hey Everyone! So this is my first fic in a while so I hope it’s not complete crap. Fun Fact: This was originally supposed to be a oneshot but then I got carried away and whoops this one part is over 2,000 words so I’m splitting it into what I think will end up being 5 parts. Blame the boys for doing this to me. Hope you enjoy!

Virgil was fourteen years old when he recognized that the butterflies he felt in his stomach whenever he thought of his host were not strictly from anxiety anymore.

Of course Thomas has always been the most important and incredible person in the world to him. Even when he was just a kid he thought Thomas was the best host he could possibly have even if he was kind of a clueless, careless moron sometimes.

This realization only causes more anxiousness in Virgil, which during Thomas' freshman year of High School is not a good thing. The pressure is already on and his strenuous relationship with the other sides is becoming even more strained as he freaks out over nearly everything. It's a stressful time for him and, unfortunately, the other sides tend to make it worse not better.

Morality is the only one who will offer him any comfort, though he also makes it clear the he thinks Virgil is overreacting. Virgil knows the moral side is only trying to make him feel better but it honestly just makes him feel like more of a burden and frustrated that they don't attempt to understand.

He knows he needs to push these feelings away. Not only is it unnatural for him to feel this way for his host, but there isn't the slightest chance of them going anywhere. His host doesn't even like him as a trait let alone like him in a romantic way. And he doesn't blame the host for that. He can acknowledge that he isn't bubbly and fun like Morality, or inventive and adventurous like Creativity, or smart and calming like Logic. All he's good for is fear. Both feeling it and causing it.

Besides, Thomas has had several crushes over the years and all of them have faded after a while, surely Virgil's would too. 

  It's now fifteen years later, at twenty nine years old and Virgil's 'crush' is far from faded. It's slowly developed into him being full on in love with his sunshiny host.

He can’t help it, Thomas is just far too easy to love with his warm eyes, and his gorgeous smile, and his caring, and his kindness, and the way just the sound of his voice could lull Virgil’s tightly wound mind into an immediate sense of peace, and how even the slightest touch from him brought a feeling of security and comfort to the anxious side. It wasn’t fair, he was supposed to be the one making Thomas feel safe, not the other way around.

He now has a far better relationship with the other sides and with Thomas after his ‘Ducking Out’ incident, a decision he was both grateful he made, yet simultaneously terrified by. He’d been told by the others how Thomas had been without him and he had nightmares of his precious host walking into traffic or some similar injury and/or death inducing reckless act because Virgil left at least two or three times per week. He would never mention this to anyone else though. Not only did he not want to burden them with his issues but it was Virgil who had felt worthless and decided to throw a tantrum and quit so he deserved the mental consequences of his actions.

On the bright side, he's now been fully accepted into the group, flaws, fears and all and he couldn't be happier with his life.

Well maybe he could, he thinks, as he watches the YouTuber across the room working side by side with Joan on the couch. However it's only been just over a year since Thomas accepted him and he's been lucky enough to form a fairly close friendship with his beloved host, he isn't willing to tempt fate by pushing for more than that and risk losing what he already had with Thomas and probably the others as well (it's far more than he ever thought he would have anyway).

Still, he catches himself longing far more often than he would like to admit, and with his growing closeness to the other sides, which he loves and is grateful for don't get him wrong, he is having to work extra hard to hide his feelings for Thomas lest one of the three catch on.

He is relaxing in his room listening to some of his lighter music when he feels a soft tap on his shoulder. His eyes shoot open and he immediately shifts into a defensive position. His headphones fall off his head and onto the covers below him.

From in front of him Thomas gives a slightly sheepish look. "Sorry, I called your name a couple times but you were to into your music. Not that that's a bad thing. You looked peaceful, which is really nice to see." Virgil tried to keep his cheeks from flushing at the words.

He glances up at Thomas with a look he hopes is nonchalant. "So what's going on? Is something wrong?" He rakes his eyes over Thomas' form looking for any injury as he asks the second question. "No! No, nothing's wrong." Thomas hastens to assure. "I...I have a gift for you."

A box wrapped in shiny silver paper is held out to the anxious side. He takes it, careful not to drop it and opens it cautiously, wanting to save the beautiful paper and very aware he's being watched. Thomas shifts a little impatiently, eyes wide with anticipation and he can feel his host's nerves. Thomas shouldn't worry. Any gift he receives from the YouTuber will become a new favorite item for the side no matter what it is.

After a couple minutes the paper is set carefully aside and he lifts the lid of the box revealing the three items inside. The first is soft, squishy stress toy in the shape of a cat with a purple galaxy design on it. The other two are picture frames.

The first picture is in a mint green frame that has the words Friendship and Family printed in darker green letters. The picture is one from a recent outing into the imagination. Roman had made a mock Disney World for them all to enjoy for the day. He, the other sides, and Thomas were standing with their arms wrapped around each other in custom Mickey ears. Remy had taken the photo while Emile made funny faces in the background to get all of them (mostly Patton) smiling. Virgil was visibly fighting to keep a grumpy look on his face from in between Thomas and Logan but the corners of his mouth were tilting up against his will. 

The second photo is in a frame with dark crimson hearts on it surrounded by black glitter. It was taken on the same day, when a smiling and soaked Virgil and Thomas had just gotten off the replica splash mountain and Virgil was holding on to Thomas to make sure neither of them slipped (that that's was absolutely his only reason, one hundred percent). Neither of them was looking at the camera, having not noticed Patton taking the photo until he showed it to them later that night.

Virgil looked from said picture back up to Thomas with a smile and gleaming eyes. "So what do you think?" The host asked lightly, glancing down to the photo still in Virgil's hand for a brief second with an odd look of nervousness in his eyes. "I like them. It was really nice of you to do this for me. Thank you." Virgil may be imagining things but he thinks he catches a slight look of surprise and frustration in Thomas' eyes before his host gives him a wide smile and a hug. "Anytime Virge. I'll see you later, get some sleep!" The host calls as he makes his way out of Virgil's bedroom. "Yeah, yeah." The anxious trait replies dismissively.

He places the two photos on his nightstand, right next to another photo he has from that day, a favorite of his. He'd snuck it from Patton before the moral trait had a chance to put it in his scrapbook. It was a photo of Thomas and him during Roman's display of the traditional Disney fireworks. Virgil's noise cancelling headphones were on his head despite not being connected to anything and Thomas was holding his hand tightly, allowing him to cope with the loud noises and vibrations from the fireworks. The light from the fireworks glowed over both of their faces, lighting them up in a rainbow of color as they both looked up in awe.

The three photos make a perfect trio, he thinks to himself as he lies back on his bed. He places his new cat on his pillow as he returns his headphones to the rightful place on his head and resumes listening to his music with a large smile. 

  Thomas sighs to himself as he merges back with his body on his bed. That had not gone quite as planned. Roman was going to be disappointed when he finds out his idea didn’t exactly work.

Thomas had realized he was developing feelings for his Anxiety just a few weeks ago. He’d managed to keep it under wraps for the first couple weeks as he tried to figure it out for himself, but it had quickly seeped into his dreams, making it impossible to keep from the Prince of his hopes and dreams.

Roman had not been disgusted or weirded out by it in the least as Thomas had feared. Instead he was treating this attraction the same way he had any other that Thomas had, with passion and dramatic zeal. If anything, he was even more enthusiastic than usual.

Roman had promised he wasn’t going to say anything, but (unsurprisingly honestly, Roman could not keep his mouth shut when he was excited about something) he’d spilled to Logan several nights later (apparently in the middle of them making out as Logan had informed him seeming equal parts fond, amused, and irritated). And since neither of them was any good at keeping things from Patton (his Dad stare was legendary and triumphed over all), the moral side had soon been informed as well.

All three were wonderfully supportive and encouraging. After a week of them, pestering didn’t seem like quite the right word but it was the only one he had, him he has agreed to try approaching Virgil with his feelings. Though he is too anxious to just come right out and say how he feels so he wanted to come up with a more subtle solution. He figured he might just try some flirting compliments but of course his sides had something to say as well.

“Making food for the object of one’s affection is often considered a romantic gesture, and goodness knows Virgil could stand to eat more.” Logan had offered, the second part muttered under his breath. “Just spend more time with him and be affectionate, kiddo.” Patton had chimed in. “Give him a thoughtful gift from the heart that will make him swoon.” This had been only one of many, many suggestions from Roman, but it had been the least over-the-top and since Roman was the romantic side after all, he’d decided to give his advice a go first much to the prince’s pleasure.

However here he was, and the plan had not seemed to work. Virgil had been appreciative of the gifts, sure, and just seeing his smile was worth the time Thomas had spent in the mindpalace making them, but he’d shown no indication of returning Thomas’ feelings or even picking up on them at all. He’d thought the heart frame on the picture of them would make it obvious enough…..

Thomas mentally scratches Roman’s suggestion off his list, sending a mind message to Logan to make sure to console his boyfriend tonight, something he was sure wouldn’t be too much of a hardship for the logical side.

Thomas wasn’t a Hufflepuff for nothing though so he wasn’t going to give up yet, besides Virgil was worth working hard for.

And if Roman’s suggestion hadn’t worked, maybe he would have better luck with Patton’s.

[theregoesjodariel]

Supergem: Writer’s Notes, Chapters 1-10

Hey gang! It’s a long time coming, but I finally got off my ass and finished the full notes for chapters 1-10 of Supergem, my big huge SU fic. I’m just about to finally get to work on the next batch of chapters, so I figured now would be a great time to look back on what I’ve done so far and provide some hopefully interesting commentary. Read on for that stuff!

Chapters 1-5

Right off the bat, chapter 1's title is a reference to the now-famous single-page retelling of Superman's origin story from All-Star Superman #1. There, "kindly couple" was used to summarize Clark Kent's crashlanding on Earth and discovery by the Kents.

Chapter 2 features what I feel would be the natural result of trying to fire bullets at a Gem: absolutely nothing. While Gems are obviously made of hard light and have been shown to be capable of being hurt by conventional means-- see Peridot getting Wile E. Coyote'd by the corrupted Gem in Beta-- I like to imagine that bullets are simply so small and so high-velocity that they'd pass through Gem bodies harmlessly. The science is probably wrong, but let me have my Rule of Cool.

Aside from sporting the amalgamated personalities of Lapis and Peridot, the two superheroes Turquoise takes the most inspiration from are Superman and Spider-Man. She shows at least some compassion for all people, even bad guys, like Superman, and she throws plenty of quips, especially when getting it handed to her, like Spidey.

As stated in the notes, I do not have a set design in mind for Turquoise, but I DID end up canonizing elements of a couple of designs I really like within the story. She sports the unique five-pointed hairstyle and orange suspenders of ahhween's design, as well as the cool cyan color scheme and water cape of cheerkitty1410's. Those two are just fantastic.

Axinite is a Gem OC of mine, a gladiatrix who fights in arenas on Homeworld, which function as the world's equivalent of recreational sports. A lot of the lore I have for her is regurgitated in the narration.

There are, of course, a couple of lines from "Stronger Than You" in chapter 4. There's the title, plus Turquoise correcting Val that the fight is one-on-two.

When I created the character, I actually completely failed to notice Val's considerable resemblance to Jasper, both in appearance (big, bulky and orange) and personality (haughty, judgmental). Naturally, when it hit me, I wrote in a nod to it in chapter 4.

Chapter 4 sees Turquoise and Val's fight spill into a mall, the very same one from Pearls' Night Out, currently my only other multi-chapter work. Rhiannon and Diane, both OCs from there, also make cameos (Rhiannon is the employee who points Turquoise in Val's direction, Diane is the journalist who interviews her on the street).

Pearl and Jasper handle city planning like military tacticians, because, well, they are military tacticians. They're also very overdramatic about it, natch.

Amazonite is a close friend of mine's gemsona, a former Crystal Gem who retired to become a seamstress after the corrupted Gems were all cured.

A couple of things involving Jasper take inspiration from the excellent Back to Beta. Pearl acts as Jasper's parole officer of sorts, rewarding her with Pearl Points for doing a good job and Jasper has an attachment to Earth music for its ability to say what cannot be said through simple speech, just like in there. Go read Back to Beta if you haven't, it's outstanding (it's also Jaspearl-- look at me go).

In one of many instances of Jodi Doing Too Much Research Into Things That Don't Matter, I actually broke out my copy of SU: Art & Origins to study its map of Beach City to determine just how nitpicky Pearl and Jasper were being.

Why do the Nephrites want to talk to Pearl? Maybe we'll find out....

Garnet "borrowed" Andy's plane to go to Empire City. That's a step up from "finding" a phone, don't you think?

I like to imagine that Bismuth has been rooting for Lapis and Peri to get together since the moment she met them. Her gaydar is just that good.

Believe it or not, I genuinely considered having Turquoise adopt a secret identity at one point during planning. I call myself out on it through Steven in chapter 5.

I knew I just couldn't do this story without Jasper since she is, in a way, the villain (or at least a villain) in Turquoise's origin story. As an abuse survivor, showing the ramifications of her and Lapis' time as Malachite as best I could was tantamount to the main storyline.

Chapters 6-10

The foreshadowing in chapter 6's identity should make Ms. Knight's identity a no-brainer for seasoned SU fans. No one spoil it if you figure it out, though!

Ronaldo is absolutely, positively, 100%, one of the guys who doesn't shower before the convention. That's so him it hurts.

The generally meta premise of chapters 6-9 were the result of me drafting them right after I got home from my city's local big convention, which I had a wonderful time at. I did my first ever cosplay (I was Pearl!) there and managed to hold decent conversations with Zach Callison, Deedee Magno Hall, Michaela Dietz, and Estelle. The layout of DelmarvaCon is even copied from the layout of that convention center.

In one of many moments of narrative intersecting with reality, I did some sleuthing and found that Paulette was, in her very brief on-screen appearance, voiced by Deedee Magno Hall, Pearl's voice actress. As said above, I met Deedee at the con I went to. You know how everyone on and off set never stops talking about how nice she is? They're not exaggerating, she's a fantastic person. Kim Tan is fully based on her, taking her name from a couple of Hall's other roles (Kim in Miss Saigon and a bit character named Lori Tan from an episode of Third Watch) and Lapis and Peridot's encounter with her is based on my own; while she didn't usher us ahead of the line to meet her, she did take pictures of my friend and I's cosplays for free when she was supposed to be charging for them. Seriously, nicest celebrity I've ever met.

Chapter 7 has Peridot riff that she can "observe 800 moving objects and compute their direction of travel," a phrase long used to describe Prowl in the Transformers franchise. It has no character significance here, I was on a Transformers kick at the time of writing.

The uncomfortable pulling sensation mentioned in chapter 7 is called an "itch," a callback to The Itch, the oneshot serving as prelude to this fic. There, "the itch" is used to refer to the deeply unsettling feeling a Gem gets when fitted with limb enhancers-- think the feeling you have or would have felt from a dentist fitting you with those awful rubber bands to help with the braces process, it's that kind of feeling. The feeling being given off by Ronaldo's control device is similar, "adding" to a Gem when nothing need be added.

The long opening narration in chapters 8 and 9 were inspired by the writing style of comic book writer Scott Snyder, who has a tendency to start, end, or intersperse his comics with long, expositional comparative musings on seemingly simple or mundane things (seriously, count the number of times one of his Batman comics opens with narration explaining the philosophical meaning behind the rocks used to make buildings in Gotham City).

The cost of Connie's sword is, as stated in the story proper, a rough estimate borne from around half an hour of research. While there are other pink stones that could've been used, I picked pezzotaite because of its extreme rarity, just to drive home how absurdly all-out Bismuth went on it.

Give Jasper a metal-style song in Season 6, Crewniverse!

I like to think Jasper and Greg would be good friends. Think about it: you've just found out your former moral enemies were not only led by, but had close relationships with, the person you spent your whole life idolizing. Who do you talk to about it? Why not the person who knew her more intimately than anyone else?

At the end of the Turquoise and Steven segment in chapter 10, the two sit down to watch Crying Breakfast Friends' extra-length season finale, in which a number of characters get new outfits. Now what could that be referencing?

The narration of Jasper's thoughts makes reference to the exiled Hessonite, antagonist of Steven Universe: Save the Light and a criminally underrated character.

I'd like to preface this point with a content warning for abuse, as I'll be discussing that a bit here.

So, as I mentioned briefly in the 1-5 notes, I'm an abuse survivor; I broke up with my abuser, who I had been with for just about 3 months, in February of this year. An acquaintance of mine has since drafted a document exhaustively detailing all of the bad shit they did for which receipts could be found, and my abuser has reacted with avoidance, victim blaming, and a refusal to apologize. I wasn't yet aware of just how in denial of her own mistakes they were when I wrote chapter 10, so I tried to write Pearl and Jasper's conversation as how I wished the conversation my abuser had with themselves would go, in a perfect world.

To get reflective for a moment, writing that has taught me, in a way I hadn't seen before, how Steven Universe's real, heartfelt redemption arcs, as fantastically-written and just generally good as they are, don't always apply in real-world scenarios. My shitty ex is not Jasper and they never will be.

[storytellingandtea-blog]

:D :D :D “no questions, no lies” + Itachi/Shisui

Soooo this turned into a full-on oneshot. I think this might be the longest thing I’ve written that isn’t abandoned and/or a WIP lmfao. It is 3 am and I just finished this, so it’s probably got mistakes and typos and such. I’ll probably edit this up and re-post this to Ao3 at some point, if I don’t hate it in the morning. I was really tempted to just leave if off on the angst and have it as a maybe hopeful, maybe bleak ending, but I thought I’d be a bit nice, since I know you like HEA lmao. That said, I do think the ending paragraphs with the hopefulness are the weakest/most rushed-feeling bit. I was initially intending to end it just at the last text divider thing. I hope you still like it, though

AU: Time travel, aged up Itachi (he’s probably in his mid teens around the massacre). Probably OOC.

Warnings: Very heavy angst, dark themes. Mentions of suicide/suicidal thoughts, self-worth/self-image issues, general Itachi angst.

Word Count:  ~4,400

Ao3 link: Edited version is up! Read on Ao3 for best experience b/c I keep losing my formatting when I try to paste the updated version in here xAx

Mandatory link to my new ItaShi playlist: here

Fic is below the cut

Shisui took a sudden pause from their frantic dash through the trees, a determined glint in his eyes as he took the opportunity to Shunshin to his cousin’s side, hand reaching forward.

“Itachi… what..?” Shisui gripped Itachi’s shoulder and forcibly stopped him, hauling them both down to the ground as gently as he was able, fixing Sharingan red eyes on the younger man. So much had happened in the past hour that it took him much too long to process things enough to even question what the ever-loving hell had happened, though it did speak for his level of trust in his cousin, as well. Even so, he still didn’t know where to start “What is going on? I… are you hurt? What— what did you do? Why are we running? My eye — how..? Danzō? The-the foundation?”

A face much too old, too tired, too… bereaved, yet reservedly fond in the same way it had been for years gazed back at him, unable to meet his eyes. A familiar stranger.

Strained lines on his face, a voice too deep, too haggard and husky for someone so young, replied, a taint of blood and death on his breath , “…I— I cannot, Shisui, do not ask this of me. Not-not until it is safe for you in Konoha. Do not force me to lie to you. Do not force me to make you forget.” His voice trembled. Trembled. Shisui didn’t want to think too hard into what could have broken Itachi this way. There was no other way Shisui could begin to describe it. At some point, the fragile points in his dear friend had shattered, when he wasn’t looking, and no one was there to pick up the pieces, to soothe the jagged edges. Shisui, busy, perhaps willingly blind, Sasuke too young, his parents too caught up in their troubles… They had failed him, and Shisui had to make it right, regardless of what Itachi seemed to believe of his own actions. There was little that Itachi could do that would turn him away. It kind of hurt to think that the young man didn’t seem to believe so. That he could think so poorly of himself, of their bond. Of him. Shisui refused to even consider that Itachi had, in fact, done something unforgivable. He simply wasn’t that type of person.

“Itachi…” Shisui sighed, and bit his lip when he saw the expression on Itachi’s face, deciding against pushing the issue, for now. He’d just have to do his best to help, without knowing anything beyond what he could read off the familiar stranger’s face.  “… all right, ‘tachi. Just… please. Are you… are you injured? Surely we’re far enough away for me to look you over?” Shisui pressed all the concern and hurt he could into his tone, refusing to feel guilty as he resisted the urge to rub his still-throbbing eye, the one that Itachi had re-implanted not half an hour ago.

He had lost time, waking up in a cave with Itachi by his side some time after falling into the water, impact shocking his body like a block of ice. (In another world, another time, Shisui had given a final, parting gift to Itachi before falling to his death. Itachi had refused to allow it, not again.)

His right eye had been aching when he bolted into consciousness, but was most definitely there behind the careful wrapping around his head. Itachi was hovering above him, but oddly unable to meet his uncovered eye. Things had been… odd with Itachi for the past week, he was even more reclusive than normal. He’d just surmounted it to the tough situation they’d found themselves in, and that it could wait for a more opportune time, that they could talk about it later. Evidently, that had been a mistake. Itachi had an expression he’d wished to never see on his face., body language defeated and weary.

Itachi passed him a water skin after he was certain his cousin was able to sit up on his own before he spoke. Or attempted to. A violent cough echoed through the space as Itachi turned away, taking a moment before he spoke again in a deep, raspy tone ,”We have to go, as soon as you’re able. You need to finish healing, but… it’s not safe here”.

Itachi looked away, seeming hesitant, before rasping “I will manage. They only scraped me. I need rest, but no more than you do. There’s a place we can hide out for a while not too far from here, abandoned by Orochimaru long ago. It still has protections that will serve us well once I get us past them…”

“…I don’t like this, Itachi. You should know you can confide in me by now, surely. I won’t press, but you should know, I’ll always be here for you, on your side. You know that, surely, especially with what’s been going on recently. I hate to see you hurting like this… I hate that you think you have to hide from me, that you’ve been hiding for weeks, if not longer. Let me help you”, Shisui responded in a rushed breath, pained. As always, the words Let me love you remained almost reluctantly unsaid, a painful lump in his throat.

If anything, Itachi looked even more broken and… guilty by that admission, his bloodshot eyes looking even less focused than they had been the entire all-too-hectic night. “No questions, no lies, Shisui”, was all that he managed to that, his eyes moist to accompany his broken tone.

Damn you. Damn you Itachi, and damn your martyr complex. You’re killing yourself, I know it. Damn your parents, for forcing your pacifistic ass into Anbu. Damn this world for being so unfair., for not allowing someone so inherently pure and wonderful, someone with so much to give to live without tarnishing his hands and soul. Without being forced into hating himself for what he’d had to do.

Shisui fought back the words from surfacing, fingers digging into Itachi’s shoulder unkindly, before he forced a nod. Something about Itachi’s almost-amused huff, the most he’d seemed like himself in much too long, told him that the younger man had picked up on at least some of the things that went unsaid. Shisui wouldn’t have been surprised if he had. For all his lack of social grace, at times, Itachi was still a genius, and they had had at least one or two conversations of a similar nature in the past.

“Lead the way”, he finally managed, giving up on meeting Itachi’s gaze in the silence. Whatever was going on, whatever had happened, he’d help Itachi. He wouldn’t allow the man he loved resign himself to… his hatred..? He was making a tactical retreat on the issue, though he would never give up. He’d just have to combine his years of reading Itachi, his experience with his ability to subtly needle Fugaku into spilling sensitive information. Shisui was determined. He would bring back Itachi from the precipice or no return he was wavering on, regardless of whether it was partially on purpose.

Shisui had been in this abandoned lab for… a week and a half, he supposed. For all that Itachi had claimed to need rest, he had disappeared that first morning, some time before he’d woken up. Needless to say, that really put a damper on his plans to figure out what the damn hell was going on, how Itachi was holding up with his illness… That period of time had been filled with high amounts of stress, anxiety and concern. Itachi had left him supplies, and a brief note to stay put as he ‘needed to take care of some urgent business’ and ‘there was no need to worry’ and ‘he’d be back as soon as he was able’. Even so, even having no clue where Itachi could have gone, that this was the most likely place for them to intersect again. Shisui was ready to tear his hair out, and just fucking bolt in search for his wayward cousin. In fact, he was making his way out of the hideout when he spotted the limping, battered Itachi.

He inhaled sharply, dropping everything before he Shunshined to Itachi’s side, carefully manoeuvring him onto the only bed in decent repair in the lab as he looked the younger man over. Itachi was… unwell would be the understatement of the century. Shisui felt numb as he tried to figure out the best course of action, his fingers already shining with the green of healing chakra. While hardly the most skilled, Shisui had very good chakra control, as was a necessity for his mastery of Shunshin, and he was able to substitute for a field medic in a pinch.

It had been concerningly touch-and-go for far too long as Shisui worked, Itachi fading in and out of consciousness. For his poor condition, Shisui found it very concerning that he could trace little back little of the damage to any external injuries, hoping that it was simply his lack of experience that prevented him from determining the cause of the internal damage, the blood building up in both lungs, despite no apparent evidence of a puncture.

Shisui had been wiping the bloody tear-like streaks caked on Itachi’s face when he finally awoke, after hours of too-hesitant chakra manipulated healing. “Oh, thank the Sage. Itachi, you’ve worried me sick. Haven’t I told you not to vanish on me..? I’ve had over a week to think all this over… nothing to do but think, really. And I still don’t understand what you think could be so horrible that you’ve been hiding it from me. I would never turn my back on you, I swear it. I lo— You mean the world to me, you’re family. I just want you to heal, you’ve been hurt, and I don’t know why or how, but I’ll make it better.”

Itachi seemed overwhelmed, and strangely pained at the barrage of words, as if they were poised to cut and maim, rather than reassure. Disoriented from just waking up, he hesitated for several beats too long, long enough that Shisui finally had hope for the first time in over a week that things would truly be okay. They weren’t, though. Itachi clammed up, the moment he realised they’d made eye contact, and he flinched away, like a kicked puppy,. He stiffly sat up, reaching into his tattered robes, as-if to retrieve something, “Before anything else, it is safe to return to Konoha, now. However, perhaps, more importantly, I… I am so, so sorry, Shisui. No questions, n—“

“Damn you, Itachi, damn you!” Shisui snarled, tears of irrational anger burning down his face as he made to box Itachi in the ear, only to stare in stunned, pained disbelief as the man he loved dispersed into a flock of crows, leaving behind only a scroll, and a whisper of I’m sorry. Not even a vague imprint of his chakra remained in the air. It felt like a goodbye, like an ‘I’ve done what I need to, and now I’m ready to die’. It felt like a ‘don’t look for me’, it felt like a betrayal of trust. It was a visceral, incomparable pain.

An inhuman noise tore its way from Shisui’s chest as he collapsed on the bedding that would forever be marked by Itachi’s sweat and blood, unable to do or feel anything beyond the hurt, pain, concern, worry, fear, anger, desperation.

It was probably hours later that Shisui finally hauled himself into a sitting position, though it had felt like an immeasurable eternity. He was stiff and sore, face sticky and sore from crying, eyes burning from a Mangekyō he wasn’t able to de-activate. He tugged at his own hair, hoping the sharp stabbing pain would distract from the ache in his soul, and forced his attention onto the scroll, laying deceptively innocent, now on the floor.

Shisui hesitated for a few moments, biting his lower lip raw, before lifting the scroll, and rolling it open. A familiar seal greeted him, and a pang, somehow deeper and more painful than the pervasive ache, struck him. He brought a thumb up to his raw, sluggishly bleeding lip, and smudged it onto the base of the seal, speaking in a broken, stuffed up tone, wavering, “No questions, no lies”. The familiar feeling of Itachi’s chakra caressed him for a moment before vanishing, leaving him with a sheaf of papers, neatly bound, and another, smaller, yet more intricate seal that he didn’t recognise. Setting it aside, after a cursory glance, he turned his gaze to familiar, if rushed handwriting, feeling himself go strangely numb, the further he read, starting to shed tears he thought he no longer had.

Shisui. Shi-nii… Shi-chan…

I hope you find this legible, as my sight has been fading as quickly as my health, as of late.

Oh, Sage. I do not know where to start. Much as I hope my letter finds you well, that you will not despair over one as undeserving as I, I know better than to hope. And for that, I am sincerely sorry. I am so very sorry, for so many things. Alas, I am too much of a coward, too selfish, too tired, too torn, to have the strength to face you as I share the deepest trenches where my soul used to reside.

Until then, please, allow me one last bit of completely unfair, harmful selfishness. Much as someone as you is undeserving of my taint, I love you. I still love you, even though I shouldn’t, after all I’ve done. I no longer deserve to, and yet. And yet. I loved you ever since we were small children, though I suppose it was different, back then. You were ‘just’ family. ‘Just’ my big brother. You did so much for me, you not only put the effort forward to understand, but you actually did. It meant the world to me, back then, when I could not express myself to save my life. I still do, now, no matter how needlessly difficult it had made the past few weeks, hiding my darkness from you. Time passes for all of us, however, and, well, over the years, you grew to mean so very much more to me. I think I realised that night, on the roof, under the stars… I am still deeply mournful I was unable to tell you before I was no longer worthy of earning your love.

Before I delve into the brunt of this retelling, please know, none of the blame is with you. It is my choices, and the choices of people beyond our control that have led to this. None the less, I have done things that are unforgivable, and that I wish not to taint anybody else with. I know that you’d try to forgive me, spin my actions in a way they are redeemable, but I know better. I don’t wish for you to taint yourself, your morals, your soul, with forgiving such a creature as I. You were my heart once, and I do not wish to force you down such a dark path. I must be cruel once more here, my heart. Please care for Sasuke, like you once did for me. With my actions over the past month, he will be having a very tough time.

The brief of it, well. I am from the future. One where I did many unforgivable things. One where I massacred our entire clan, save Sasuke, after you fell down a cliff, eyeless, and drowned. One where I forced my brother into madness to gain enough strength to kill me. I will not try to excuse or explain myself, lest I manage to make you see myself and my actions in a brighter light than I deserve. I have sealed my most important memories of the years that should never again come to pass in that scroll. You can activate it the same way you did my storage seal.

It contains memories of our clan, of my time as a missing-nin with a rebel group, of the upcoming war. I have dealt with Madara, and inhibited Zetsu’s plans to the best of my abilities, so you have time. Once again, I am sorry to push this on your shoulders, dear heart, for I am cruel. You are the only I can trust to take action. Please, don’t make the same mistakes as I. Don’t go it alone.

Ever since I had returned, into my younger body, around a month ago (I am still uncertain as to how it happened. One moment, I was dying to Sasuke’s hands, the next, waking up in the compound), I put forward my best efforts in an attempt to even slightly redeem myself, to prevent the darkest happenings of the future in any way I can. Danzō is dead, as are my father and many of the elders. The details I have also enclosed in the scroll.

As I’m sure you’ve been picking up on, I have not been completely well for some time. At this age, I already had the early signs of my illness, though I was not aware of it, at the time. The deterioration seems to be occurring faster in this timeline, than originally. My organs are under strain, my eyes failing, both from illness and Mangekyō use. Even if I were not tainted beyond saving, beyond redemption, I would not want others to see me like this, make them suffer for me. Much as I acknowledge what I am doing to you is unforgivably cruel, I hope you can begin to understand my reasons. Please be well.

I have left to die, Shisui, do not search for me. I do not deserve your forgiveness, I do not deserve healing. Please. Move on from this, be happy. That is the best thing you could ever do for me, dear heart.

With all my sincerest apologies and remaining soul,

Itachi

It had been just a fortnight since Itachi had vanished, and plans were very well underway for the future, based on the memories Itachi had left. After all, a determined Shisui was a productive Shisui, almost scarily so. Many of the pitfalls of Itachi’s future were unlikely to come to pass with all their contingency plans, upon contingency plans. It doubtlessly helped that many of the key players were dead, or had changed allegiance.

Many, including Shisui, himself, were angry with Itachi, but not for the reason the man himself likely thought. Shisui was so very unexplainably hurt by Itachi’s choice to leave, much as he understood it, in a way. He hated the fact that the man had been so hurt, so consumed by the family madness by the time he returned, that he no longer put any stock in himself, causing to push everyone who cared about him away, feeling undeserving. Unthinking of the harm he was doing to those that found him dear. They would have much to talk through, much to heal, the both of them, but for all his hurt, he couldn’t blame Itachi. And he found it even more painful that the young man had thought his actions irredeemable and unforgivable, considering his forced hand, and less-than-sane mental state at the time of many of these choices. He just wanted to wrap up the man in a stifling hug, and never let him go. It ached. He refused to think about the possibility of Itachi already being gone, of it being too late. He hoped that Itachi felt the need to resolve more things before death caught up with him, that he hadn’t killed himself, or just laid down to die somewhere.

He’d managed to convince Tsunade to return, for all she claimed it was temporary. Hiruzen was hoping to convince her to take over the hat, but that was hardly Shisui’s main concern — she had agreed she’d tend to Itachi, if— when they found him. While she couldn’t promise anything, due to the unreliable nature of the details Shisui had told her, she was convinced she could reverse most, if not all of the damage, if it hadn’t tipped over to the point of no return.

Shisui had gathered the best tracking teams in Konoha, and they were finally ready to depart. Each person had a Hiraishin seal, and access to a messenger summon so that Shisui and Tsunade could appear on location as soon as Itachi was found, and get him stabilised, and to Konoha as soon as possible.

Hiruzen felt a great deal of guilt over the Uchiha, and Itachi’s fathe, specifically, both in the man’a original timeline, and this time around, which allowed Shisui to press a lot more than he would have been able to otherwise, considering the differences in their station. This allowed him access to the forbidden scroll of the village, allowing him to learn the technique for near-instantaneous travel created by the Nidaime Hokage.

And here they were, setting out, two weeks after he’d last seen Itachi, the moment the situation was stabilised, and he felt confident enough in his new Jutsu. Much as he had been antsy to leave in pursuit immediately, he knew it would have done little good without any ability to help Itachi, considering he had little clue of his condition. Shunshin was amazingly useful, but it could cover only so much distance, and was very rough on passengers. Not to mention that his healing would only go so far.

Shisui was determined, hopeful as he watched the teams quickly advancing through the forest. There was no way the greatest trackers in Konoha, supported by Jiraiya’s lauded spy network would be unable to find Itachi. If he was still out there, he’d be brought back, no doubt about it.

If. Oh Sage. No, no, no, he had to still be alive, right? Such a bright flame couldn’t go out without any noticeable change to the world, surely. He had to still be alive.

…right..?

Shisui startled as a gentle hand rested on his shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. Tsunade didn’t offer any empty platitudes, but her steady presence helped settle his spirit. He wouldn’t allow himself to wallow in despair at what if. He had to have hope, especially when Itachi didn’t.

The next time Shisui saw Itachi, he was… in surprisingly good shape, considering his state the last time he’d seen the man, though much too pale, his face worn.

According to Kakashi, he seemed in the middle of tracking someone, who he’d later found out was Black Zetsu, before he found himself restrained by Konoha-nin. While initially panicked, and intent on escaping, Kakashi ended up talking him down, after he convinced his team to leave them to chat. While not as close as Shisui and Itachi, Kakashi had played an important role in Itachi’s life after he’d entered Anbu, as he’d been the young Uchiha’s commanding officer. Being similar in many ways, as well, had helped them bond. In the time that it took for Kakashi’s ninken to deliver the go-ahead to Shisui, Kakashi explained what had been happening ever since ‘his little vanishing act’, and started to explain why Itachi was wrong for believing he was unforgivable and irredeemable for his actions.

While Itachi was visibly reluctant to agree with Kakashi’s words, he was listening, and it was oddly plain to see that he was starting to take the words to heart. Kakashi had imagined it helped that he was notoriously allergic to feelings and speaking honestly, and that he’d shared some of his own deep wounds and failings. My actions aren’t unforgivable, according to you. Your situation isn’t much different than mine. What makes you so tainted? Learn to forgive yourself, kid.

Itachi leapt to his feet the moment he felt Shisui’s chakra signature, seemingly uncertain for a moment whether he wanted to bolt away from, or to Shisui. His innate impulse, built over many years took over, however, and he Shunshined straight into his cousin, following him in his fall to the ground. He clung tightly to the feeling of warmth, safety, home, for the first time in a long time not pausing to question if he deserved it. Silent tears trailed down Itachi’s face as his half-blind eyes met Shisui’s, willingly, for the first time, ever since he’d returned from the future, “I— I’m so very sorry, Shisui. I have caused you so much —“

“Oh, shut the fuck up, you utter dingbat”, Shisui near-sobbed into Itachi’s shoulder. “I can’t believe you thought, for a moment, you didn’t deserve me, that you deserved to die in a ditch somewhere. I fucking love you, too! Did my feelings not matter in this..? If you dared die, I’d have found a way to bring you back, just to kill you myself. You… you…. I’m so happy and relieved you’re okay… I just… you… we have a lot to talk about, but please. You deserve to live, and heal. Please, at least, try for me, even if you don’t think you deserve it for yourself yet”.

Itachi shifted over the sniffling Shisui so that the man was positioned in his lap, happy to note that Kakashi and Tsunade had chosen to give them some privacy. He paused, looking at Shisui’s face, and, once he was certain of his welcome, kissed the corner of the other man’s mouth, before pressing their foreheads together. “For you, anything. I have not been in my right mind for a long time now, as you probably know by now. But, after a long conversation with Kakashi, and some searching in myself, I know I should trust in you, if nothing else. If you believe I’m worth saving, I will try my hardest. I love you, and you are my heart, have been for a very long time. I will endeavour to never hurt you again in this way that I have. I pushed you away for one of the things I love most about you, and for that, I will do my best to earn your forgiveness.”

Tsunade, Kakashi, and the rest of the tracking group found the two half an hour later, exchanging soft words and gentle kisses, reluctant to be more than an inch apart at any given moment. They were already starting to heal, as they affirmed themselves, their relationship, in one another, though it would take time for the cracks in their souls to be filled with gold, making something different, yet just as beautiful as it once was. Together.

[hispeculiartreasure]

Weekend in the Woods - Steve Rogers x Reader

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: You manage to drag Steve Rogers into the woods for a long weekend to yourselves!

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Can brief melancholy be a warning?

A/N: This has been in the works for weeks. It’s the longest oneshot I’ve ever written for Steve, and I’m fairly proud of it. Hope you enjoy it! I also tagged a few people who’ve been interested in my stories in the past, but I don’t have to tag you in the future if you don’t want me to. Also, the ever-lovely Pia - @abovethesmokestacks - beta read for me and created this STUNNING moodboard for me!

Tags: @firewolfkelly @almighty-rogers @promarvelfangirl @barnesrogersvstheworld @ursulaismymiddlename

As soon as Steve put the car in park, you were opening your door, practically bouncing towards the cabin. Somehow, you had finally achieved the impossible – you convinced Steve Rogers to go on vacation.

Last week, you had been badgering Steve about taking some time off. He had trudged in one night looking particularly worn down when you commented on how exhausted he looked. You had made some snarky comment about how he needed a night off. Steve had turned to you and shocked you with the two most beautiful words you had ever heard him say - “You’re right.” Before he could elaborate, you had whipped your cell phone out and already booked the cabin you’d had picked out for months.

Steve couldn’t help but feel satisfied at your excitement. He was hesitant to agree to go off the grid in case Captain America was needed, but your begging wore him down. You did have a point, he hadn’t had a getaway from real life since before the war. He had to admit he was tired, plain and simple.

But that didn’t stop the worry nibbling in the back of his mind. What was he going to do for four days in the middle of nowhere? Even he could only draw and sketch so much. Being away from work made his fingers itch to stay busy.

He opens the trunk of the car and easily manages to grab your overnight bags and the groceries the two of you had picked up on your drive into the mountains. You emerge from the cabin, eyes sparkling.

“Looks like those bags might be too heavy for you, need help?” You teases, head tilted to one side.

He chuckles in return, adding “It wouldn’t be a struggle if you hadn’t packed so much.”

“A girl’s gotta be prepared.” You hold the door open for him as he lugs your belongings into the cozy cabin. An oversized bed was tucked into the small bedroom that was attached to the bathroom. The rest of the cabin held a couch and a couple armchairs, the couch, a tiny kitchen table with chairs, and the kitchen itself. It wasn’t luxurious, but it was all you needed.

Your goal for the next four days was to figure out how to help Steve rest. This weekend may be turn out to be more work for you than ever before.

The first night was easy enough. The two of you usually spend your nights catching each other up on your day while making dinner together, and tonight was no different. Tomorrow the work would begin.

But for now, you dance around each other in the kitchen, working in tandem to stir the sauce, make sure the chicken is cooked through, check that the bread didn’t burn, and make sure the cookie dough was packed. Like always, the meal was perfect as Steve complains about the team’s latest prank on him during training and you tried your best not to laugh.

Steve rose with the sun the next day - and so did you, begrudgingly. He insists that you didn’t have to get up with him, but you knew he was likely to get in some kind of trouble if he was left to his own devices for too long.

“You up for a hike today?” you ask around a yawn that wouldn’t give up on you. Steve couldn’t help but grin at your sleep-rumpled hair.

“I think a better question is if you are up for a hike today, sunshine.” He only received an eye-roll as you entered the bathroom to get ready for the day. He couldn’t be more grateful for you.

He went about packing the backpacks you’d brought with food and water for the day. Before you’d rolled out of bed, he’d checked a few satellites so he could plan a hiking route in case you were willing to explore with him at some point this weekend.

Once you were both dressed and had your backpacks strapped on, you head towards the trails hand-in-hand until you came to a fork in the path.

“Okay, where do you wanna go? Wanna just wing it?” you ask Steve.

“Uhhhhhh. . . sure. We can wing it.” Your critical eye seems to make him nervous.

“Steve?”

“Uh-huh?”

“Did you already plan exactly which way you want to go?”

Steve’s mouth opens and closes several times as he struggles for words. “I just wanted the most efficient route that got us to the best viewpoints of the mountain and allowed for comfortable water breaks that got us home before it got dark. . .”

“Steve, you’re supposed to be relaxing.”

“Strategic analysis relaxes me, you know this, darlin’.”

You throw your hands in the air with an exasperated, “Fine, it’s your vacation. Lead the way.”

Steve sheepishly takes the lead down the trail on your right. You didn’t really have an opinion - Steve was keeping busy, which was the goal. And the view you had from behind? Golden.

A few hours into the walk, you pull Steve to a stop and stare at the gorgeous view. After hiking uphill for a while, you had reached a break in the trees that revealed a valley below you. For miles, you could see mountains covered in trees, the low clouds providing a peaceful yet somber atmosphere. A gust of wind bit through your jacket, but the fresh air was exhilarating. You turn to Steve to comment on the scenery, but stop at his pensive look.

Steve enjoys the relative silence and the sounds of nature, he really does. What he doesn’t enjoy is the frenzy set free in his mind. When he wasn’t busy, his mind wandered. When his mind wandered, he had no control over the memories it dredged up or the thoughts that took over. Which is why Steve liked to stay busy. Some say he’s a workaholic, he reasons that he’s surviving. The truth is, he had to plan a strategic hiking route. He had to run through a list of ways the two of you could evacuate the cabin in case something happened. It was less about worry and more about what would happen if he didn’t stay--

But then you squeeze his hand in yours and he remembers that he isn’t alone. Your cheeks are flushed from the exertion of hiking and your hair was tossed with the breeze. And the way you’re looking at him - with adoration, with concern, with love - he can’t help but feel he doesn’t deserve it.

“Let’s keep walking?” you ask him softly. He nods and you two continue on with your exploring.

It turns out that in the midst of Steve’s calculations, he forgot to take into account how long it would take an out-of-shape non-supersoldier to traverse the path he had planned. You refuse his offer for a piggyback ride the rest of the way back to the cabin, only to prove that your stubbornness could out-stubborn his own. That stubbornness dissipates with the nightfall, the darkness making you nervous and Steve overprotective as you clamber onto his back. Steve’s brisk pace causes the already-chilly air to pierce through your skin, your arms wrapping around his neck as a reflex. .

The cabin finally comes into view and you had never been more excited to get warm. Steve being Steve, he didn’t put you down until you both were inside with the door secured. That was when he noticed the shivering.

“I’m so sorry, doll,” he sighs, “this is my fault.”

“Oh stop, I’m fine! Just a little cold.” Steve grabs a quilt from the couch, tossing it around your shoulders.

“But you wouldn’t be if I had picked the right paths—“ you gently grab his face between your hands, forcing him to look at you rather than fidget with the blanket.

“Steve. I’m really okay. I’m already getting better, see?” you hold your hands out in front of him, “the shaking is almost gone.”

He smiles softly and grabs your hands. The kisses he brushes across your knuckles definitely start to warm you up.

“You know what you can do for me?”

“What’s that?” Steve asks, inching close enough for your noses to brush.

You whisper huskily, “Make me dinner.”

Steve closes his eyes and huffs out a breath before you both dissolve into giggles. Gosh, you love that laugh, you love this man.

After dinner, you read a book as Steve sketches some of the landscape you’d seen together on your hike. But you could see his anxiety as you got ready for bed together. You stand in front of the sink and Steve stood behind you, both of you brushing your teeth. His posture was more rigid than it usually was at the compound, the fingers on his free hand constantly moving.

“You okay, babe?” You must’ve broken his train of thought, because it took a few seconds for him to register what you’d said.

“I’m fine.”

“Fine isn’t great.”

He sighs, leaning around you to rinse out his mouth. “I don’t want you to think I’m not enjoying this uninterrupted time with you, because I really am. It’s been nice not to be the Captain for more than a day.”

“. . . but?” you prompt, switching to running a brush through your hair.

He rubs the stubble on his chin, watching your movements. You could see the struggle on his face. Steve did not enjoy sharing his feelings. The possibility of showing weakness made him prickle like a porcupine. It was something you’d both been working on - you learning to give him space and him making an effort to communicate and be vulnerable. You don’t push him for an answer, just continue brushing your hair in the quiet.

“I feel . . . useless. I’m not good at relaxing. If my hands aren’t busy, my mind gets noisy. . . Does that make sense?”

You nod thoughtfully. “We can find some kind of project for you tomorrow. And if you get too antsy, we can always head back early. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, that would defeat the whole purpose of this trip.”

“No, I want to stay here with you. I just need to be busy with something.” You tamp down your instinct to tell him to embrace the uncomfortable and confront some of his thoughts. Now wasn’t the time to talk about this. Getting him to talk about anything personal was challenging enough. That was for another day.

“I understand. We can figure it out. But I need sleep before that. How about you?”

“Agreed.” He follows you to bed and tucks himself in next to you, always insisting on taking the side of the bed closest to the door, no matter where you were. You immediately snuggle into him, savoring his warmth in the cool fall air. “Thanks for listening,” he murmurs into your hair.

“Always, Steve.”

It was a rare morning that you were awake before Steve. He was usually an annoyingly cheerful morning person. But you had a feeling his sleeping-in was due to a sleepless night. Steve didn’t need a lot of sleep to function, thanks to the serum. But even the super soldier needed a few solid hours.

You extricate yourself from his arms, which stirs him from sleep. His puffy eyes squint at you in question. “Just going to the bathroom, go back to sleep,” you whisper, gently sweeping hair away from his eyes. He nods and closes his eyes again.

After visiting the restroom, you snag a quilt from the end of the bed to wrap yourself in and close the bedroom door softly behind you. You would start making breakfast, but Steve was a restless sleeper and your noisy preparation would wake him up for the day. Instead, you chose to make the morning’s coffee and step out onto the back porch.

You blow a soft stream of air across the top of your warm mug, looking out across the scenery. For the first time since being there, you notice a small shed a few paces away from the cabin. Pulling the quilt tighter around yourself, you pull open the heavy door to the shed. Looking around inside, you start to get an idea, a smile spreading across your face.

Two hours later, Steve emerges from the bedroom to find you curled up on the couch with a book.

“Good morning, sunshine,” You smile warmly at him and offer him the steaming mug waiting on the coffee table.

Steve eases himself down next to you and pulls your legs into his lap as he took a sip of coffee. “Ahh, just how I like it.”

You snort as you lean your head on his shoulder, “Steve, you like your coffee black, it’s not that complicated.”

“But you know that about me and I appreciate it.”

“Always. You doing okay?”

“I’m much better now that I have my coffee and my girl,” he returns with a kiss to your forehead, “What’re you grinning for?”

You lean back to properly look at him, a twinkle in your eye. He could tell you were excited about something, and your energy was contagious. “I think I figured out what you’re going to do today.”

After breakfast, Steve follows you to the shed to discover piles of different kinds of wood and wood-turning machinery. Layers of dust cover everything in the shop, except for the places where Steve could tell you had swept your fingers over the wood and some of the tools. The shop was small, but had several windows that could air the place out in no time.

Steve put his hands on his hips and turns to face you. “What exactly do you want me to make?”

“I dunno. . . anything you want to.” Steve didn’t look convinced with his eyebrows knit together. “But you really don’t have to. It’s a new challenge and obviously no one is going to miss this lumber. Thought it might keep your hands busy and your mind occupied. If it doesn’t sound like something you’d enjoy. . .” The longer you spoke, the more insecure you began to feel. Maybe this was a dumb idea and was presumptuous of you. Steve was a big boy, he was capable of taking care of himself.

But then he smiles at you. Not a big grin or a flirty smirk, just the corner of his mouth lifting up - that was enough to send the butterflies a-fluttering.

“Thank you for caring, sweetheart. I’m willing to give it a shot if you’re okay with having a rickety coffee table.”

You both change into clothes for the day, you engulfed in one of Steve’s sweaters while Steve pulled a flannel over his broad shoulders. After opening the windows and propping the door open, you settle into one of the rocking chairs on the porch with your book. There were a few books left in the shop that Steve picked up and brought to the rocking chair opposite of you. It took him about an hour to speed-read the three books that spoke to how to get started and the finesse the job took.

To be perfectly honest, the project was rocky starting off. Steve had never built anything more complicated than a tent at a campsite. But he was one of the quickest learners you knew. He proved you right in no time.

At one point when you look up from your book, you found Steve bent over what would eventually be a bookshelf. A few stubborn locks of hair had fallen in front of his eyes, but he hadn’t noticed yet. You try to stop yourself from drooling when you notice he had rolled the sleeves of his flannel up, showing off the veins along his forearms. He was so focused on his task, not worried about the world around him. It was the most beautiful sight you had ever seen.

He took that moment to look up, locking eyes with you. He winks, you melt. That man knew exactly what he was doing to you.

Oh yeah. This was your best idea yet.

By the end of the day, Steve had crafted a beautiful coffee table that was by no means rickety. Preceding that were some other. . . structures. . . that appeared rickety. Hey, even Steve Rogers faced a learning curve. But the coffee table was beautiful; simple, strong, steady - everything you love in Steve.

That night, you notice a big change in Steve’s demeanor. His shoulders were completely relaxed as he grilled dinner that night, you received more than one flirty kiss while preparing the side dishes, and you were pretty sure you caught him whistling at some point. Rare form, indeed.

You were gathering up the dirty dishes when his strong arms wrap around your middle and brought you chest-to-chest with the soldier. “Someone’s feeling chipper,” you laugh, setting the dishes beside you on the counter.

“Well, someone had a really great day thanks to a certain adorable someone,” Steve murmurs into your neck, scattering light kisses across your throat.

“Someone is more than welcome.”

Before you knew it, you were being lifted to sit on the kitchen counter, with your lips pressed to Steve’s.

With a light touch to Steve’s chest, you lean back with a smile. Steve hums deeply at the separation between you, which only causes you to smile more.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” you say with a whisper, your fingers toying with the buttons on his flannel.

“Thanks to you.” Steve pauses for a moment, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear before brushing his thumb along your cheek. The intensity in his gaze sent tingles down your spine. “Really. Thank you. I know I have a hard time. . . talking about. . . feelings, s-so much s-so that-,” he groans in disgust, “I just want you to know that I see what you do and I appreciate it more than I can say.”

You grab his shirt collar and pull him impossibly closer. “Right back at ya, babe.” Your lips met once again and you knew there would be no problem staying warm tonight.

On most days when Steve woke up at the crack of dawn, he tried not to disturb you as he went about his morning routine. But somehow, as per a miracle, you were still wrapped in Steve’s arms when you woke up. You roll over to face Steve, squinting up at him. Unlike yourself and your haggard morning appearance, he looks like an angel. The morning light reflected off his golden hair, confessing beautifully with his dark stubble. You had never seen him looking so content.

“Did you already take your morning run?” you ask, wincing at the huskiness of your morning voice.

“Nope,” he answers simply, smiling down at you.

“Are you going to?”

“Nope,” he smiles even bigger.

You clear your throat, “Wow. Vacation Steve is really serious about this relaxing business.”

Steve props his head on his hand, his elbow digging into his pillow. “I love the way you sound in the morning.”

You could feel your cheeks heating up at his blatant adoration. Steve was usually fairly reserved, but Vacation Steve? Seems like he was pretty honest. You could get on board with that.

Vacation Steve continued to rule the day. It was a quiet day, but one that was incredibly peaceful and comforting. The most exciting moment in the day was when Steve managed to get the smaller machinery in the wood shop to power up. After reading a few more books he’d found, he managed to turn a dark block of wood into a beautiful vase. He surprises you with this vase by filling it with sunflowers and setting in on the counter where you were preparing lunch.

Before the end of the day, the cabin’s bed had a new headboard with an intricate pattern of swirls adorning the curves at the top. Several more bowls and vases were made and stashed for future Christmas presents. Steve didn’t consider himself a huge planner when it came to gifts, but he knew you would be surprised and pleased by the trinkets he’d made himself.

The day passes peacefully into night. With two mugs of hot chocolate in your hands, you pause at the backdoor to watch Steve. He was in one of the rocking chairs, gazing up into the night sky afire with stars. Moonlight lit up his face, accentuating his jawline and strong features. Your heart swells with emotion -- seeing him at peace was overwhelming in the best kind of way. The last few days made you realize how deeply you did care for Steve, how much his happiness meant to you.

Steve must have sensed your hovering, he turns towards the doorway and beckons you closer. He thanks you for his hot chocolate and when you turn to sit on the rocker opposite of him, he grabs you by the hand. “C’mere,” he murmurs with a tug of your hand. With a giggle, you settle across his lap, wrapping an arm around his neck.

Together, you enjoy the quiet night and each other’s presence. That’s all you need at this moment: the sounds of nature settling in for the night and the feeling of the one another close.

Steve was the first to break the sleepy spell. “Can I be honest with you?” You nod against his shoulder. “I was really nervous about this trip. I didn’t know what I would do with myself for this long without work. But. . .” You sit up to look him in the eye, encouraging him to continue.

“Then you worked so hard to guarantee that I would enjoy this time. I’ve struggled for years with who I am and what I want, even what I like. You have given me so much in our time together. And you deserve to know just how highly I think of you and how much I respect you.”

“And I feel the exact same way about you.” Steve smiles softly, his gratitude evident.

“I didn’t dream I would feel this way, but I’m going to miss this place. I don’t really want to leave.”

“Again, I feel the same way. We can always come back, though. As long as I’m in your life, this isn’t going to be your last vacation,” you assure, bringing a hand to caress his cheek.

“I know. This weekend was a pleasant surprise. Thank you, sweetheart.”

“You’re very welcome,” you whisper, leaning in for a chaste kiss, “Now come on. I’m determined to kick your ass at Monopoly before we leave.”

Neither you or Steve want to burst the happy bubble you’d created here. But, your alone time with Steve was coming to a close - The Captain was calling.

Your last morning in the cabin was spent in quiet preparation to leave. You spent your time packing bags as Steve tidied up the woodshed and cleaned the kitchen. Making sure to tuck in the trinkets Steve had made you, you zipped up the last duffel bag and set it by the front door. Through a streaky window, you spot Steve wrestling your new coffee table into the back of the car. When it came to loading your luggage, you left that to Steve. He loves puzzles, and having a life-sized one to solve was a treat to him. Not to mention that he had the muscles you didn’t  - you were both pretty content with the tradeoff.

After one last sweep through the cabin to make sure you hadn’t left anything, you lock the front door and join Steve by the car.

“All set?” Steve asks as he shuts the hatch on the back of the car.

“I’m ready if you are.” With that, Steve pulls the keys from his pocket and starts towards the driver’s seat. “Oh wait!” Steve looks over the top of the car at you quizzically.

“Did you forget something?”

“No, no. We didn’t take one picture together while we were here. C’mere.” You open your phone to the camera and snuggle into Steve’s side. You snap a few pictures before Steve takes the phone from you.

“Let’s get a picture where we can see the cabin behind us.” With his long arms, he manages to capture the cabin that had been a haven over your long weekend. You lean into him further, resting your head on his shoulder as you both smile at the camera. “Perfect. Let’s hit the road.”

Steve settles behind the wheel as you scroll through the new pictures. As he maneuvers the car down the dirt driveway, he watches the cabin become smaller in the rearview mirror. A profound gratitude toward you fills his soul. You had orchestrated the weekend not only to spend time with him, but also to give him the first true rest he’s had. A spare glance to the passenger seat found you smiling at the selfies and probably sending them to close friends and family who knew about the trip. He grabs your left hand and squeezes tight, trying to convey the feelings he struggled to put into words.

He didn’t deserve you. He didn’t deserve any of this. But he had it and he was damn well going to appreciate it while he could.

The cabin disappeared from sight as the car descends down a hill, which sparks an idea in Steve’s mind. One of another cabin, built by hand. Nothing too fancy, but something that held the same magic you had experienced together. It would be small. It would be quaint. And it would be an escape. Weekends in the woods would become much more frequent, he suspected.

[darthkvznblogs]

I wrote a Voltron: Legendary Defender X Steven Universe oneshot!

It was supposed to be, like, a 1k word cute little blurb, but it ended up at over 5k because I have absolutely no self-control. Also posted over at:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17733932

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13203652/1/Close-Encounters-of-the-Gem-Kind

Also, this is technically part of a larger gamut of crossovers, but this isn’t really connected to those, so feel free to enjoy this on its own!

It’s kind of funny, how much of a backwater the Milky Way is considered to be. Pidge likes to think so, at least - how many humans throughout history have proclaimed Earth to be the center of the universe? It couldn’t be further from the truth, of course, but that certainly didn’t stop them.

The reality is that galactic civilization is practically nonexistent around these parts. There’s nothing like the ancient Alteans, and certainly not like the universe-spanning Galra Empire here, and it shows; the Milky Way lacks any kind of hub worlds, or even designated hyperlanes. It’s the Wild West out here - or, more accurately, the galactic equivalent of an empty Denny’s parking lot at two a.m.

Still, it’s nice to almost be home again. She didn’t expect to be headed back so soon - heck, part of her didn’t expect to return to Earth at all - but it seems Allura found herself a heart, and is allowing the Paladins of Voltron a brief, week-long window before they really take the fight to the Galra for them to let their families know they’re, y’know, still alive.

For how much longer, Pidge has no idea. They’re Public Enemy No. 1, but like, on an intergalactic level. That certainly doesn’t bode well for their continued well-being.

In any case, they’re a few thousand light years out - they’re doing short jumps, so as to avoid leading the Galra back to Earth - when they catch an urgent sounding alien communication, one that makes Allura frown, and summon the other Paladins to the bridge.

“What’s wrong, Princess?” -Shiro asks once he gets there, all armored up - first as always, if not for the fact that Pidge was already there, analyzing star maps with Princess Allura - confused at her expression.

“The Castle’s short range sensors have picked up what appears to be a repeating distress signal. The language is...familiar, but I can’t quite place it.” -she admits.

Shiro crosses his arms. “Familiar how?”

“Yeah, we’re super far away from ancient Altean space.” -Pidge points out.

“Altean civilization became space-faring almost a hundred-thousand years ago. We explored most of the universe.” -she says, as if it should be obvious. “We may not have colonized much, but we did visit.”

Pidge deals with this mind-boggling fact the same way she deals with most things regarding Altea or the Galra. “...oh.”

Allura looks smug, but only for a second, because Coran pipes up after only absently following their conversation. “Oh! That’s Gem code, Princess.”

Allura raises an eyebrow. “‘Gem’ code?” -she asks, on the verge of recognition.

“Yes! I guess it makes sense that they’d still be around.” -he says, eager. “Gems are inorganic life forms - they don’t eat, sleep, or drink, so they are effectively immortal. They were one of the last intelligent species we discovered before the war.”

The Princess snaps her fingers - a gesture picked up from Pidge herself. “That’s right! I remember my father leaving to meet with their diplomats.”

Shiro interrupts the nostalgia train. “Then let’s take a detour and see if we can help them out. Earth can wait just a little longer.”

Allura doesn’t seem like she appreciates the commanding tone, but she clearly agrees, immediately bringing up the Castle’s controls. “Generating wormhole now.”

Lance, Keith, and Hunk come together into the bridge as the starship accelerates into the rift. Seconds later, they re-enter realspace, only to find themselves staring at an ongoing space battle some two thousand kilometers in the distance.

“Well, that can’t be good.” -Lance says, helmet under his arm. He doesn’t sound particularly worried.

“What the hell are the Galra doing so close to Earth again?” -Keith asks, crossing his arms. He, in turn, does. Angry-worried, at any rate.

Lance cringes. Pidge is fairly certain he didn’t put two and two together. “Oh, yeah, that too.”

Allura immediately takes command. “Coran, jam their comms. Paladins, to your Lions.”

The five of them grimly fall into place, taking the chute to their respective giant mechanical familiars. The Paladins burst out into the void, supernatural roars audible even in the oppressive silence of vacuum.

“What are we looking at, here?” -Shiro asks everyone.

“Hands, mostly.” -Hunk says drily. “It’s not just me, right? Everybody else can see the multi-colored giant hands shooting at the Galra fleet?”

Hunk has a knack for summing up the crazy situations Team Voltron usually encounters, and this is no exception. Indeed, a fleet of massive, human-accurate, hand-shaped warships is trading blasts with a Galra dreadnought and about a dozen cruisers. They’re about half the size of the Castle of Lions each, which means they’re all dwarfed by the Galra capital ships. Pidge can make out green and yellow ones, mostly, but there’s a couple blue ones in there, too. She also notices that, while they’ve obviously suffered some damage, the hand ships are all still more or less intact, while a couple Galra cruisers have already become superheated chunks, slowly falling towards the planet, caught in its gravity well.

Judging by the fleets’ positions - the Galra are sandwiched between the planet and the Gem warships - the Galra got here first, and the hands are reinforcements for the Gems below.

“It doesn’t matter what they’re shaped like. They’re outnumbered and we’re here to even those odds.” -Shiro finally says. “Allura, can you contact the Gems? We don’t need them shooting us, too.”

“I will try. I’m not sure the Castle’s translator software includes Gem language.”

“It included human, didn’t it?” -Lance asks rhetorically. “Er, I mean English.”

“No, it did not. English was just relatively easy to decipher. Gem language, on the other hand, seems to be a combination of computer code and spoken word. We’ll whip up a message, but there’s no telling if they can even recognize it for what it is.”

“It’ll have to do.” -Shiro says as they enter firing range for the Lions’ main cannons. “Lance, Keith, focus on the fighters - try to draw them away from the Gem fleet. The rest of us will take out the Ion Cannons. Stay on your toes, everyone.”

The Paladins split into their respective groups - Pidge feels a bit awkward going with the heavy hitters, but her and Green are probably second worst at dog-fighting, so she gets it - and get to work. The Galra immediately begin attacking them instead, completely ignoring the Gem warships, likely overcome by their desire to please ol’ Zarkon with a nice, Voltron-themed gift basket.

Pidge is pleasantly surprised; they’ve only been at this for about a month - just last week, they saved the Balmera and its rocky inhabitants - but they already fight like a coherent unit. Part of it is the Garrison’s training, sure, but this newfound success is largely owed to the mystical link they all share as Paladins. She’s aware that Keith just melted down a squad chasing Lance, that Shiro just took a Jaw Blade to the dreadnought’s main battery, and that Hunk just spotted a cruiser’s Ion Cannon targeting her. Pidge simply dodges out of the way at the last second, letting the overwhelmingly powerful blast tear through the cruiser behind her and Green.

With the final Ion Cannon disabled, the Castle of Lions moves in. Particle blasts pepper the Galra fleet, which wastes no time in retaliating, but these bolts come from point-defense cannons - they’re meant to take down fighters and other such small ships, like the Lions technically are. The Castle’s barrier holds steady against this attack.

“I am detecting a significant Galra field presence on the planet.” -Allura says. “Several hundred Sentries, at the very least, possibly some Galra officers. They seem to be attacking a major Gem installation.”

“Then we better finish this up quick.” -Shiro says. “Everyone, regroup! Let’s form Voltron!”

The Lions roar in unison, flying towards a relatively safe point in space, and begin the morphing process. Pidge has studied it before from the Castle’s recordings, frame by frame, but in the heat of the moment, she can’t quite tell what’s going on - only that she’s now not quite just Pidge Gunderson, or Katie Holt, but a vital component of the immensely powerful whole that is Voltron. There are no longer five Lions and their respective pilots, there is the titanic warrior and their collectively melded minds.

Well, that’s what it’s supposed to be like, she instinctively knows. Eventually. But they’re all still rather new at it, so they still speak up like they’re separate individuals.

“Form Shoulder Cannon!” -Shiro commands, and Hunk immediately complies. The Cannon materializes, targets the remaining cruisers, and fires, swirling ribbons of deadly light tracing wild paths for a second or two before reaching their marks, burning through thick hulls and the decks within. Cataclysmic explosions tear some of the vessels apart, while those that survive are left like wounded beasts, venting atmosphere and spitting out plasma.

The dreadnought is mostly undamaged still, and its repair crews have managed to get the Ion Cannon somewhat operational again - they probably should’ve ripped it off instead of just slicing at it - and so it fires at them.

Before Shiro can call it out, Pidge is already forming the shield. It’s just in time, too, snapping into place as the beam reaches Voltron. Purple energy flares out around them, dissipating into harmless, free-floating ions a couple dozen miles out.

Voltron’s wings return to their original position, and Shiro bellows: “Form Sword!”

“Wait!” -Allura calls out. “Incoming energy signature!”

They turn, and sure enough, a massive shape warps into the battlefield. It’s a complete yellow right arm, a little longer than the Galra dreadnought, and its fist is clenched. It zips past Voltron at ramming speed, completely heedless of the fact that the dreadnought is charging another shot.

“Why aren’t they dodging?” -Lance asks the question on everyone’s mind.

The answer is apparent as soon as the beam washes over the yellow hull, and does absolutely no damage.

“Jesus.” -Hunk says. “What the heck is that arm made of?”

The arm then smashes into the bow of the dreadnought, sending it backwards in spite of its powerful engines trying to compensate. Voltron boosts towards the two warships, but stops in its tracks just as they’re about to reach them, as what looks like a large, yellow bubble - about the size of Black’s protective particle barrier - sprouts from the arm’s surface.

“Is that a woman?” -Lance asks, dumbstruck, as the bubble disappears, leaving behind its single occupant.

Pidge is not as impressed by the person’s apparent gender, as she is by their sheer size - they’re about as tall as the Black Lion while sat on its haunches. Their skin and helmet-shaped hair is the same yellow shade as the arm ship, and they’re wearing what looks like a short tailcoat, olive pants, and brown boots. A square, equally yellow gemstone about as tall as Shiro protrudes from their chest - and, strangely enough, it’s the only part of their body showing up on Green’s sensors.

“I...I guess that’s a Gem.” -Shiro says, his usual stoic composure broken up a bit by the sheer awe this being provokes. Judging by the off-the-charts telemetry Green can make out on them, Pidge is more inclined to label them as some kind of pseudo-divine being.

The giant person spares a brief look for the stunned Voltron, before becoming enveloped in a crackling electric aura, raising their left hand, and blasting the Ion Cannon.

The superweapon briefly becomes incandescent, then explodes, and so does the superstructure beneath it. The Gem then leaps, seemingly unaffected by the lack of gravity, and smashes into the burning wreckage of the Cannon, plunging into the dreadnought’s innards.

“Should we help?” -Keith asks, uncertain.

Lance scoffs. “Help!? Let’s throw her at Zarkon!”

Shiro shakes his head as small, fiery holes begin to violently blow through the warship’s hull. “Let’s leave them to it. I know for a fact the Galra don’t have anything inside that can actually put up a fight. Split up and head to the surface, instead.”

Voltron breaks apart into its constituent Lions, which begin the descent into the Gem world. Pidge notes, somewhat uncomfortably, that the hand ships have moved in, literally grabbing onto the wrecked Galra warships. It reminds her of Facehuggers, which, now that she’s an intergalactic traveller on the regular, she can only hope exist solely in movies.

The planet below isn’t really one to write home about; it’s a lifeless rocky world, not unlike a large Mercury, its thin atmosphere is primarily nitrogen-based - but the mixture is unbreathable for most life forms, humans included - and its soil is rich with aluminum oxides. Why the Gems would choose to settle here, Pidge has no clue. Maybe they like inhospitable worlds? They’re inorganic, so...maybe they’re not all that bothered by them?

The atmospheric burn doesn’t last long, even with the added challenge of dodging the falling debris caused by the battle above, and soon they’re diving through the thin cloud layer. Several artificial structures dot the landscape on the way to the battlefield - enormous columns beaming with light, intricate spires reaching towards space, and colosseum-like buildings floating between the clouds. The ground battle is taking place near a massive canyon network, inlaid with Gem machinery. This is where most of the Gems on the planet are concentrated, if sensor data is to be believed. Then again, their sensors can only pick up the individual gemstones on their bodies, so it’s really anyone’s guess.

“So, what’s the plan? A bombing run, maybe?” -Lance suggests.

“Negative. Some of the Gems seem to be fighting hand-to-hand with the Galra.” -Shiro says. “We’d be risking hitting them, too.”

“So, let’s join them. Let’s fight on foot.” -Keith says. Of course he does.

Hunk groans. Pidge winces to herself, too. Neither of them are too into the pedestrian portion of Paladinhood. “Let’s land nearby and try to find their commanding officer. They’ll probably know where we’ll be the most useful.” -Shiro says, finally.

The Lions come in hot, dust blowing as the massive mechs trot to a stop. Pidge readies herself, manifesting her bayard and hoping against hope that she won’t have to use it.

She runs out of Green’s mouth, meeting up with the others. All their weapons are out already. Shiro leads the way, approaching a small outpost from which a dozen Gems seem to be observing the nearby battle. None of them have anything she can identify as a gun; she spots some spears, a warhammer, several swords, and a bow and arrow. The weapon selection seems highly paradoxical, given their apparent technological prowess, but, then again, Keith’s bayard turns into a sword, too, and that’s über-advanced Altean techno-sorcery.

The next thing she notices is that the Gems are...eerily similar. Even the Balmorans were easier to tell apart; there are three types, all completely different from the last. The smallest are a head shorter than her, all colored in similar shades of red, with thick but stubby arms and legs, and a sort of blocky afro for hair. Their gemstones are all over the place - back of the hand, knee, chest, forehead, nose. Same goes for the other two kinds; one is about as tall as a full grown Galra, their stone an upright rectangle in the middle of their chest, with a poofy head of cheddar-colored hair, orange skin, a red jumpsuit, white gloves and boots, and a glittery yellow-red cape, and a green colored Gem with a triangular gemstone for an eye, a perfectly square head of light yellow hair, and odd, free-floating fingers manipulating some kind of hard-light screen.

“Greetings. We are the Paladins of Voltron.” -Shiro announces, following protocol because he’s, well, Shiro. “We picked up your distress signal, and have come to help.”

Pidge half expects to hear gibberish back from the Gems, but when the tall, orange one replies, it’s in perfect english. “Oh? Is that so?”

Their tone takes all of them aback. It’s the condescending ‘it’s cute that you think you know better than me’ kind of voice Pidge knows very well from years of...overachieving in academic endeavors. It’s also far from the way you’d expect a Commander in trouble to sound like. “Uh...yes? We’re at your service. Where do you need us?”

They languidly turn to the green Gem. “Peridot, where do we need the Paladins of Voltron?”

Pidge vaguely remembers something about the mineral peridotite coming from the Earth’s mantle. Peridot’s voice is kinda nasal, and she sounds...bored. “Ruby squadron theta is requesting assistance, my Hessonite.”

Judging by the way the small, red Gems worriedly fidget at the mention, they’re Rubies, too. Now the colony makes sense; aluminum oxide forms corundum, a mineral real life rubies - and sapphires, which Pidge is guessing is another type of Gem - are found in.

Hessonite hums. “Well, there you go. Go, go! I’d love to watch.”

The Paladins look at each other in confusion, but silently decide not to think about it too much. They rush towards the nearest fight, which is definitely going in the Gems’ favor.

The Rubies may lack any sort of projectile weaponry, but they don’t seem to be fazed much by the Galra Sentries’ laser blasts. They wince and yelp when hit, but otherwise continue charging. They’re also surprisingly strong, taking down the drones in a single punch more often than not. Still, the Paladins join in, blasting and slicing away at the robots. Again, their teamwork has experienced a marked improvement. They’re hardly commandos, but they cover for each other’s weaknesses fairly well. Most of the Rubies ignore them, but a couple of them cheerfully greet and thank them - with the absolute cutest voice ever - before moving on to the next skirmish.

That’s when the first Galra tank pops up over a nearby ridge, points at the departing Rubies, and shoots.

The plasma burst explodes at their feet, and when the smoke clears, one lays groaning face-down, while only a circular, soot-covered gemstone remains of the other. “Lance, Hunk, cover fire!” -Shiro barks out. He dives to cover the Ruby with his body, while the Paladins distract the tank. Pidge and Keith follow suit, bringing up their particle shields, since a squad of Sentries has taken aim at them.

“I’m...sorry about your friend.” -Shiro says, gravely. A large, striped, yellow-orange Gem with a mane of white hair roars past them, and absolutely demolishes the Sentries shooting at them. It’d be funny, if someone hadn’t just died before her eyes.

The Ruby - her gemstone is on her right knee - seems very confused. “What? She’s fine, she’s right there! Not even chipped or anything.” -she says, all earnest and adorable, pointing at the gemstone on the ground. “Haven’t you guys ever seen a Gem poof before? It happens to us Rubies all the time…”

Ah. Pidge thinks she gets it, now. That’s why Green’s sensors and her armor’s onboard systems can’t make out anything but the actual gemstone: the humanoid body is some kind of light construct. The gem is the Gem.

The Gem blanks out for a second, then looks at them with guilt. “Um, listen, I have to go.” -she say. “We’ve been ordered to defend the western entrance to the Kindergarten.”

Keith balks. “You have children here!?”

The Ruby doesn’t seem to understand that word. “No? We have a vein of potential Sapphires, though, so we can’t let the organics anywhere near there.” -she explains, then grabs the other Ruby’s gemstone from the ground and hands it to a very surprised Shiro. “We’re supposed to leave poofed soldiers behind, but...she’s my friend. Just...take care of her until she reforms, please?” -she pleads.

Knee Ruby doesn’t wait for an answer, just bolting - well, more like hup-hup-hup-ing - towards the western side of the canyon network. Hunk and Lance return, fresh from taking out the Galra tank. “Oh cool!” -Lance says, catching the glint of the scarlet gemstone. “That’s gotta be worth like, a cool million.”

“This is, apparently, a person.” -Pidge says, rolling her eyes.

“Wait, what? I thought they were just really into body mods.”

Keith shakes his head. “Were you not paying attention to your Lion’s sensors?”

Lance scowls. “Don’t sass me, Kogane. I’ve got Earth on my brain right now and not much else.”

Shiro puts his flesh and blood hand on Lance’s right pauldron. “We all do, but we need to focus for now.” -he says, understanding, rising as he cautiously pockets the gemstone. “Let’s try to find the Galra commander.”

Pidge pipes up. “Oh, let me.” -she says, then closed her eyes. She finds that thread in the back of her mind and pulls on it, grabbing Green’s attention. Their connection is nowhere near as good as it could be, one day, but this is more than enough for now.

Green is more in tune with life than any of the other Lions - as in, she can sense living organisms better than any of the others - so Pidge asks her to scan the horizon for living Galra combatants. Green roars, and a quick scan later, the actual Galra on this world are marked, and their location relayed to the Paladins. Disturbingly, Green detects none in orbit.

Shiro takes a moment to strategize. “Okay. There’s three groups of Galra soldiers. One seems to be established at their FOB, and lightly guarded - Pidge and Lance, you take those out, and see if you can figure out why the Galra are so close to Earth in the first place. Another squad is establishing static defenses nearby - Keith and Hunk, that’s you. I’ll join the Gems in taking down the ones fighting alongside the remaining Sentries.”

Pidge grimaces. She’s no stranger to taking lives by now - Galra warships may be mostly crewed and defended by robots, but there’s still an organic element in command, and she’s taken down several - but killing up close is an entirely different matter. Something tells her that her mantra of ‘one less Galra is one less obstacle between me and my family’ probably won’t cut it this time around.

Goddamn it, she’s fifteen.

Lance winks at her. Pidge doesn’t think much of it, considering he flirts with pretty much every being that could be argued to be sapient. “Think you can keep up, Pidge?”

“Doesn’t sound like I have much of a choice.” -she replies, deadpan. Pidge turns to Shiro. “I might not be able to interface with their tech without your arm, just so you know.”

“Try it anyway. If you can’t, just destroy their outpost.” -he says.

They split up, and head towards their targets. It’s a short hike, made only a bit sluggish by the debris from the battle. Pidge spots several dormant gemstones among the broken Sentries.

“So, why do you think they all look like girls?” -Lance asks.

“Let’s not assume their gender.” -she says. “We don’t even know if they have one.”

“No, I get that. I’m just saying, they do present themselves as feminine, more or less.”

“Well, it’s not like we’ve met them all. Maybe those Sapphires the Ruby talked about look different.”

Lance hums. “And the big one? What kind of Gem do you think she is?”

Pidge jet-boosts past a Galra hovertank that looks like it’s been physically crushed. “A Topaz, maybe? I don’t know that many yellow gemstones. Could be a Yellow Diamond too, I guess.”

“Yeah, that sounds pretty regal.” -he says. “She’s gotta be like, their queen or something, right?”

“If they’re the leader of Gemkind, fighting on the front lines would be a very poor judgement call. There’s a reason Zarkon’s lived to rule ten thousand years. He just spits out orders from his throne room.”

“Well, that plus magic, right?”

She sighs. As much as she’d love to say that ‘magic is just really fancy tech they don’t understand yet’, she’s seen enough weird Altean and Galra bull to recognize that the phrase is worthless in reality.

“...yeah, that too.”

Her HUD flashes red in warning, just as they’re about to crest the hill overlooking their target. She looks up, and sees a fragment of burning Galra hull falling towards their general vicinity.

“Uh...Pidge? Is that headed for…?”

“Us, yeah!” -she screams, grabbing his arm and punching her thruster pack to the max. They zoom away just in time, as the artificial meteor slams into the hill, the shockwave sending both of them careening across the landscape. The come to a tumbling stop a couple hundred feet away, groaning. The Paladin armor takes the worst of it, for sure, but Pidge is already dreading the bruises she’ll find when she hits the showers later today.

“Are you okay?” -Lance asks.

She shakes her head, more to check for concussions than to say no. “I’m alive.”

He steps into her field of view, offering a hand. She takes it and rises. “Are we still keeping score after this? I’m pretty sure the save is worth a lot.”

Lance smirks. “No, no, I’m pretty sure this just makes us even.”

“What? For what?”

“Sendak, remember?”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess that’s true.” -she says. If not for his clutch save, the cyborg might’ve taken them out, instead of the other way around. “I’m pretty sure the game is over anyway, they’re probably all dead by now.”

Lance raises an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?”

“The fragment that almost hit us, it exploded in midair. The other piece should’ve landed right on top of the Galra base.”

As if to confirm her hypothesis, an explosion shakes the ground on the other side of the hill. Lance winces. “Alright, let’s go check it out.”

They nearly crest the ridge, before they’re stopped in their tracks. A Galra soldier pops over the hill, running towards them. Pidge brings her bayard to bear, but it’s ultimately unnecessary. It’s the briefest of moments, and the most terrifying sequence of events she’s witnessed in this little space opera she’s on: a blinding light appears behind the Galra, catches up to him, and consumes him. As in, when the glow subsides, the alien has completely vanished. Disintegrated, presumably.

“Oh my God.” -Lance says. Funny, Pidge didn’t peg him for a God-fearing man. Teenager. Yikes, she’s already rambling.

The Galra’s killer soon becomes apparent, as the massive yellow Gem they’d seen in space nonchalantly walks toward them, each step shaking the ground beneath their feet. Pidge can’t quite nail why it’s so different from staring up at the Lions; the height is similar after all, but the approaching Gem is so much more intimidating. Maybe it’s the humanoid shape. Maybe it’s their irritated frown.

It’s probably the fact that their electric aura still crackles as they approach.

“I had not realized that humanity had achieved spaceflight.” -they say. Their voice is definitely feminine, their tone that of someone who knows themselves to be superior. There’s an undercurrent of weariness, too, but Pidge is all but certain it’s not of the physical kind - they move like they’re on a leisurely stroll, as if they hadn’t just dropped from orbit and atomized someone. “With the amount of technology Homeworld left behind, it’s a wonder it took so long.”

The being squints at them. Pidge notices that their irises - yellow, of course - have diamond-shaped pupils.

Ah. Yellow Diamond, then.

“Then again, that armor is hardly of Gem make. Too...flimsy. Much like the rest of you organics.”

Well, that certainly sounds like an insult.

“Not just any organics.” -Lance says. He’s afraid, and covering it up with bravado. Classic Lance. “We’re the Paladins of Voltron, ma’am.”

Yellow Diamond seems...unimpressed. “Is that what you call the waste of quintessence I saw in orbit, Blue Paladin?”

“What do you mean waste? Voltron is like, the most powerful weapon in the universe!” -Pidge says. So she’s feeling defensive of Green and her little found family. So fear makes her lash out a bit. Sue her.

“I mean that the amount of quintessence powering your so-called Voltron would create enough Gems to conquer every planet in every galaxy. And yet, its makers chose to concentrate all that power into five vulnerable little puzzle pieces, and then put them in the hands of humans.”

“Jesus, lady. Calm it down, will you? We wouldn’t even be here if not for your distress signal. We came here to save you from the Galra.” -Lance says. Pidge isn’t sure if it’s intentional, but he’s protectively stepped in front of her. Not that it’ll do much good once Yellow Diamond tires of this conversation and vaporizes them, but it's, y’know, a nice gesture.

“I assure you, your assistance was neither needed nor wanted. These Galra may be a threat to your kind, but as you can plainly see, they are mere annoyances for Gemkind.”

Pidge grabs Lance’s arm. “It’s okay, Lance. Maybe we should just go back to Shiro and the others.” -she suggests, rather urgently. “We’re obviously not welcome here.”

“Good. I thought perhaps I was being too subtle.” -Yellow Diamond says, disdainful. “Take your mechanical pets and leave my world, Paladins of Voltron. Return to that doomed mudball you call the Earth.”

The Gem’s aura subsides, and they turn to leave. Pidge breathes a sigh of relief because yeah, Yellow Diamond was definitely considering offing them. Green and Blue fly towards them as the massive arm ship pokes through the clouds above. The Gem matriarch leaps onto its palm, and disappears into its depths. The ship then points towards the sky, elongates impossibly, and disappears in a vortex of warped space-time.

“Yikes.” -Lance says.

“Yup.”

“That could’ve gone better.”

“Could’ve gone worse, too.” -she points out. “We’re not exactly great at diplomacy.”

“True.” -he says, as their two Lions land beside them. “Hey, what do you think she meant by calling Earth doomed?”

Pidge shrugs. Her nerves are a bit too frayed to really think about it. “Global warming? I dunno, Lance. I just hope we never get to ask her. At least, not in person.”

“Yeah, no argument here.”

They board the Lions, and head towards their fellow Paladins. They’re already taking off, and it’s not hard to figure out why.

“Gems are nuts, you guys.” -Hunk says when they join them. “Like, not even the fact that even their tiny Ruby guys could toss me around like I weigh about half a Pidge…”

“Hey!”

“...they turned on us the moment the Galra were done! We didn’t even have a chance to give them their buddy back!”

Pidge’s eyebrows shoot up. “You kept the Ruby!?”

“I did.” -Shiro says, gravely. “Which means this won’t be the last time we deal with the Gems. We’ll have to figure out a way to approach them safely, now that we know that they aren’t exactly friendly.”

“Earth first though, right?” -Lance asks, hopeful, then amends himself. “I mean, I don’t know about you, but I desperately need some strictly human comforts. Pizza, videogames, beautiful human women…”

Pidge laughs to herself. Trust Lance to ruin a somber moment, even if it’s his own. The internal laugh is, admittedly, a little hysterical - they did just meet a space goddess, after all.

Shiro smiles. “Earth first, Lance.”